Cooking and food are a major part of many cultures. For several families I've worked with, this has been the case. (I've worked in Home Health for 2 yrs or so)
That being said it was a normal occurance for them to offer their nurses food. In their culture, and plenty others including my own ancestors', its considered rude and even insulting to refuse the offer. It is viewed as a gift and gesture of thankfulness on their part. For me, it's never been an issue. I've learned a lot of great cooking tips/recipes from these families. :)
I know for some of you, this is an ABSOLUTE no-go. Food allergies, sensitive stomach, just personal preference... what ever the reason may be.
Others are comfortable with accepting food from the patient/family you work with (granted these were well-kept hygienic homes/individuals)
Even if you don't work in Home Health, I have heard from nurses that work in Nursing Homes, Hospitals,.etc. where this is a commen occurrence as well. So I'd like to hear from everyone! Please:laugh:
What is your personal policy on accepting food gratuities from the pt/pt's family?
Specializes in Home Health, Mental/Behavioral Health.
I work for food, and fresh eggs.
A hundred years ago when I was pregnant in the summer with my first, the husband of a patient always had a fresh squeezed glass of Concord grape juice from his garden waiting for me. It was fabulous and I would have been an ass to decline.
Another planted a tomato bush for me every year in his beautiful garden. I brought those tomatoes home and enjoyed the heck out of them.
Hahaha. Well I wouldn't be opposed to working for food, if it was enough to feed the family of 4 for 2 weeks, then why not? It's what I spend my money on anyways lol ...
But seriously. That is THE ABSOLUTE sweetest thing I've ever heard. If the good Man upstairs decides to bless me with another bundle, I hope I can have fresh juice and a tomato plant at work too
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Eating their food has broadened my palate over the years. I have had food from patients from every corner of the planet. I appreciate so many cultural differences in food that I never did before becoming a nurse.
Specializes in Home Health, Mental/Behavioral Health.
Eating their food has broadened my palate over the years. I have had food from patients from every corner of the planet. I appreciate so many cultural differences in food that I never did before becoming a nurse.
It's amazing how food can bring us together. It's also a great feeling to know I'm in the right business to get know so many different interesting people from all around the world and have the privilege of caring for them.
Dude.... If it looks good, tear in to it! With that said... I'm diabetic so I can easily refuse foods that aren't compliant with my diet. And it's a great excuse if I don't want it. And honestly, I think it's a compliment when a family offers food.
Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..
I am in home health at the moment. I don't accept food from families. To take it a step further, I don't eat with them either. My eating is done on my break, alone. If they are having a meal and my patient is included, it's a family event. I am not family.
This may seem a bit over the top but I have my reasons for using this approach. It's one part of many things I do to maintain the Therapeutic Relation.
I have seen a trend with patients who like to cross the boundaries of the therapeutic relation. I started noticing this when I worked in hospitals actually. Often, actions that seem merely friendly at first are attempts to win favor with you.
More than a few times since I started Home Health, I've had family making grand gestures of friendliness to me, even making comments like "You are one of us." Shortly after, they'd reveal something to me that they knew I'd not approve of. One was putting their autistic child to bed with "Just a little extra" sleeping medication. They'd put him to bed very early, to get a break from his behaviors, and he'd not be checked on again until the next morning when my shift started.
So, basically, they were greasing me up hoping I'd overlook all this.
Once you cross the boundaries of a therapeutic relation, there is no going back. I stay on the side of the fence that says "Yes, I'm one of those nurses who doesn't overlook things."
Specializes in Home Health, Mental/Behavioral Health.
Dude.... If it looks good, tear in to it! With that said... I'm diabetic so I can easily refuse foods that aren't compliant with my diet. And it's a great excuse if I don't want it. And honestly, I think it's a compliment when a family offers food.
Hahaha, using your diabetes as an excuse to politely refuse. Shame on you lol
I agree though. If it looks tasty and especially if your familiar will them, I say yes please and thank you! There are times I refuse because now I'm on a specific diet and I'm exercising. So if I've already been bad that day, I just say no thank you.
I am in home health at the moment. I don't accept food from families. To take it a step further, I don't eat with them either. My eating is done on my break, alone. If they are having a meal and my patient is included, it's a family event. I am not family.
This may seem a bit over the top but I have my reasons for using this approach. It's one part of many things I do to maintain the Therapeutic Relation.
I have seen a trend with patients who like to cross the boundaries of the therapeutic relation. I started noticing this when I worked in hospitals actually. Often, actions that seem merely friendly at first are attempts to win favor with you.
More than a few times since I started Home Health, I've had family making grand gestures of friendliness to me, even making comments like "You are one of us." Shortly after, they'd reveal something to me that they knew I'd not approve of. One was putting their autistic child to bed with "Just a little extra" sleeping medication. They'd put him to bed very early, to get a break from his behaviors, and he'd not be checked on again until the next morning when my shift started.
So, basically, they were greasing me up hoping I'd overlook all this.
Once you cross the boundaries of a therapeutic relation, there is no going back. I stay on the side of the fence that says "Yes, I'm one of those nurses who doesn't overlook things."
I would definitely agree with the private duty side of home health.
On the intermittent side, it's more of the offering of some Xmas cookies to go home with you, not near as much of a line.
When I first started in home health, in 1990 *gulp*, my director explained the difference in what was acceptable for gifts. Anything of monetary value is a hard no, but hand made food or crafts ie crocheted hot pads are okay. To decline is much more damaging to the relationship than acceptance of their show of gratitude.
The key is having the appropriate relationship established first thing, but intermittent is vastly different and it's easier to keep it warm but professional.
I don't usually refuse and they just do it as a nice gesture. It gets brought to the break room and whoever wants it they can have it. It is really sweet of family or patients to bring in food as a thank you so it is well received. Yes there are times, we say thank you and secretly toss the food away too. Not that they need to know that. With Middle Eastern culture, I think it is rude to not accept food so i usually take the food and if I don't really want it, Ill leave it in the break room.
Specializes in Home Health, Mental/Behavioral Health.
I am in home health at the moment. I don't accept food from families. To take it a step further, I don't eat with them either. My eating is done on my break, alone. If they are having a meal and my patient is included, it's a family event. I am not family.
This may seem a bit over the top but I have my reasons for using this approach. It's one part of many things I do to maintain the Therapeutic Relation.
I have seen a trend with patients who like to cross the boundaries of the therapeutic relation. I started noticing this when I worked in hospitals actually. Often, actions that seem merely friendly at first are attempts to win favor with you.
More than a few times since I started Home Health, I've had family making grand gestures of friendliness to me, even making comments like "You are one of us." Shortly after, they'd reveal something to me that they knew I'd not approve of. One was putting their autistic child to bed with "Just a little extra" sleeping medication. They'd put him to bed very early, to get a break from his behaviors, and he'd not be checked on again until the next morning when my shift started.
So, basically, they were greasing me up hoping I'd overlook all this.
Once you cross the boundaries of a therapeutic relation, there is no going back. I stay on the side of the fence that says "Yes, I'm one of those nurses who doesn't overlook things."
I do agree with you on some points. I feel like it might depend on the circumstances for me. I haven't felt compelled yet to make a change over to the "Absolute No-Go" side.
For example, where I've most recently worked in private duty home health, the pt has behavioral/mental disabilities, but also bedridden.
Consequently, I spend up to 12 hrs a day in one small room with her, because she is not permitted to go elsewhere but a "playroom" where is just next door to her bedroom. We listen to music for an hour or so, then it's back to the bedroom. The family, I feel like anyway, is just happy to offer me a little something they prepared for everyone towards the evening sometimes on long days.
I always make sure they know how gracious I am and remind them, "you do not have to feed me, I have stuff with me and I enjoy my job it's absolutely no problem," but they insist. It just makes them feel good. And I can respect that so I accept. Unless I'm not supposed to be eating that particular food I save it as a goody for the kiddos or husband later. Sometimes I save it and end up throwing it away later when I get home to be honest.
I've learned in this particular dynamic, that saying no thank you after they've already prepared a plate and brought it back to me can be damaging to the patient/family/nurse relationship.
On the other hand I can understand your view. Families can do a lot of that "buttering up" as you mentioned. Saying things like, "oh we love it when you're here, your so good with (pt's name)" or "we are so glad you're here! Its been a mess without you" and so on... no awkwardness or pressure right? BTW, these statements bring a whole other topic!!
I have also witnessed some "unconventional" approaches to the pt's care by the caregiver that I would never perform as their nurse and they knows this.
I've never witnessed anything as severe as making the child go to sleep early with extra meds or anything along those lines. So adding in a gift of food or anything for that matter is just a big slap in the face. That actually made me really sad when I read that. But I totally get where you're coming from.
I am in home health at the moment. I don't accept food from families. To take it a step further, I don't eat with them either. My eating is done on my break, alone. If they are having a meal and my patient is included, it's a family event. I am not family.
This may seem a bit over the top but I have my reasons for using this approach. It's one part of many things I do to maintain the Therapeutic Relation.
I have seen a trend with patients who like to cross the boundaries of the therapeutic relation. I started noticing this when I worked in hospitals actually. Often, actions that seem merely friendly at first are attempts to win favor with you.
More than a few times since I started Home Health, I've had family making grand gestures of friendliness to me, even making comments like "You are one of us." Shortly after, they'd reveal something to me that they knew I'd not approve of. One was putting their autistic child to bed with "Just a little extra" sleeping medication. They'd put him to bed very early, to get a break from his behaviors, and he'd not be checked on again until the next morning when my shift started.
So, basically, they were greasing me up hoping I'd overlook all this.
Once you cross the boundaries of a therapeutic relation, there is no going back. I stay on the side of the fence that says "Yes, I'm one of those nurses who doesn't overlook things."
Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.
Home health for sure I did decline gifts, but we will accept homemade food in the breakroom of the hospital, like cookies. No one has gotten sick that I know of. Families are much more likely to bring us store-bought foods anyway, as many of them are from out of town.
From the other side of the plate, as it were: my daughter and I foster kids. She automatically had tea and cookies ready for every social work (or whomever) visit. Very few accepted. To us it is just common courtesy to offer something to a "guest" in our home, whether there for business or pleasure. I crochet lots of stuff, and offered a small bear or rabbit or something for our worker's office, and she had to explain they weren't allowed, and she took tea with us just because she felt bad about refusing every time.
As a nurse I understood completely not accepting "gratuities", but never considered offering tea a gratuity!
:)
But I totally get where you're coming from.
BabyFood26
203 Posts
Hahaha. Well I wouldn't be opposed to working for food, if it was enough to feed the family of 4 for 2 weeks, then why not? It's what I spend my money on anyways lol ...
But seriously. That is THE ABSOLUTE sweetest thing I've ever heard. If the good Man upstairs decides to bless me with another bundle, I hope I can have fresh juice and a tomato plant at work too