Bad Day!!!

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

I got relief today to come home because I was crying so bad, I couldn't help it! I tried to calm down and finish my shift out, but I couldn't. Something happened in our ICU that upset me. A male nurse was mad at me about the assignment and was yelling at me in front of everyone slamming a book down and treating me badly. Our manager had to come in and she really didn't resolve the situation. I told her I understood what I did wrong and will fix it, but the fact that I WAS YELLED AT and treated in a DEMEANING MANNER by a coworker, in front of EVERYONE,, she didn't care about that!!! The assignment I gave the male nurse, ultimately, was the easiest one that we had today. Before he even walked in the door, he had his easy assignment. What he was mad about was the fact that he ALMOST had a bad assignment. It didn't matter to him that I had changed it to the easy one (before he even got there, late of course) it mattered that I ALMOST gave him a bad assignment. He's the boss's little pet too.

Let me add that I often have to come up with the assignment for our shift (the night shift is suppose to do it) because most of the time, the night shift doesn't "have time", like today. I am the only charge nurse our unit has, but there was no charge assignment today. I am treated like a charge nurse by the nurses there, even when I have two patients and am not the charge nurse. I am the default 'resource person' because no one else wants to do it, or they are too new to do it. I don't mind doing it for the most part, because I believe that everyone needs help sometime and we should all work as a team.

Anyway, This incident was not the first thing that cued me to get a new job and I actually landed a really good job and start in a week. I gave my notice almost two weeks ago, but the manager BEGGED me to stay until the end of this schedule which is january 18th. She begged me so much that I finally gave in and came to the conclusion that I would have two full time jobs for a month!

The good thing that was in it for me was that I would not have a month lapse in insurance, that I would have, if I left at my two weeks notice.

But now, as I sit here and think about it more, I don't even want to go back to that place!! ( was going to stay on as PRN) My best friend at work quit there two weeks ago, suddenly, because the boss wouldn't stop picking on her and trying to find things she did wrong. She would look at her hourly charting and if she was an hour behind charting the I & O's then she would write her up!! This manager is loud and obnoxious, she won't let you talk, she talks over you and when you try to say something she is demeaning and tells you "I'M NOT TALKING OVER YOU! SO STOP TALKING OVER ME!~! "

I tried to tell her how I felt about the communication issue, but she doesn't seem to understand it at all. My point of view is WRONG of course. In every instance, no matter what the deal is,, ,,, she is right and everyone else is wrong.

I have been afraid to tell anyone in upper management about this manager and what she does because I have seen her scheme and retaliate against other nurses, and those other nurses usually end up getting fired or quitting because of the work environment. But, as soon as I am no longer employed by this hospital, I feel like I should write the CEO and upper management with all of my concerns. I will include the fact that I was scared of retaliation because I've seen her make remarks about retaliating. Not saying the actual word 'retaliate', but say stuff like "she will regret this' or "haha, we'll see about this!"... just things that a manager should not be saying. And to back it up, those nurses that "told on her" no longer work for us. And there are SEVERAL.

But then again, I tell myself,, maybe I should just put that all behind me and be done with it. Will writing a letter like that really help? I Don't know.

I also didn't have the guts to tell my husband what happened today, but I am going to let him read this as soon as I'm finished. This is how bad I felt today.

[RN1982]

He should have not yelled at you over something so petty. If it was me, I would have called security. Your boss should have backed you up and he should have been reprimanded immediately. It's a good thing you have a new job lined up. I would call your boss and say you changed your mind and you will not be staying there until January. It's not as if you'd want to go back after that incident.

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

Thank you, it helps to hear that from someone else. It's one thing that I think it, but it does feel good to know that I am not the only one that feels this way.

[RN1982]

I would strongly suggest not going back. And when you do finally leave, I'm sure you will have an exit interview. You can detail the poor management of the unit when you have the interview.

[moonchild20002000]

I would not work one more hour on that unit! Let your boss figure out the schedule.Call her and give her your

resignation effective today. Keep it short and to the point.

I don't think a letter to administration would be helpful,they usually see it as "sour grapes".

Move on and enjoy your new job!

[bethin]

I feel for you. I had a day like that last week. I left early and I was supposed to do CPR after work, but after a RN made me feel like an uneducated piece of pond scum I left (she said this after my shift was over and report given). I hadn't cried in ten years and I didn't make it out the door before it started. I cried all day and I didn't want to go back either. Then I reminded myself that I am better than that, and to never let anyone make me feel inferior again.

The whole reason I was a piece of uneducated pond scum? Housekeeping was moving beds and had moved a bed under the bedside chart (little thing that pulls down where you can write). Anyway, this nurse just couldn't muster the strength to move the darn thing. She demanded that I do even though I was busy putting in I & O's and answering the phone. Her response "well, everyone else does it." Felt like telling her that if someone jumped off a bridge she should feel free to follow.

Sorry to hijack. Next time you work, go in there with your head held high, smile and say good morning/good night to everyone. Trust me, they'll forget about it and something new will arise.

As far as the NM, it sounds like not much can be done there, unless you get a large group of nurses to talk to her boss. If I was in your situation, I'd be looking for another job before the NM really truly hated you (undeserved of course). Good luck!

[GrumpyRN63, ADN, RN]

I wouldn't give her until the end of the next time, I wouldn't even go back to that toxic rathole,

if you truly wanted to leave on good terms give her just the initial two weeks you agreed on,

whatever that is a couple of shifts left? If you don't care, don't bother. It's great you have a

new job lined up, take a breather, look forward and GOOD LUCK!!!

[yalienne]

Sorry to hear that. But Thank Goodness you have another job line up. I would write to upper management maybe the other nurses can't muster the courage to tell her off and who knows you might be helping someone else who cannot find another job. My mom had that happened to her as well. People want to fight her and she comes home crying. Working as a charge nurse is a hard job. I hear you. Whether you stay for the remaining weeks or leave is up to you. What does not break you makes you stronger.

There is this lady that use to be the unit manager at my mom's job. She is a mean. One day she yelled at this nurse. They find the nurse in the basement dead from a heart attack. No one did anything or said anything. But everyone knew why the lady died. A few months later the unit manager's son committed suicide. Some people are so mean. If someone had said something to upper management or if she had gotten sued or something her son would still be alive.Friends' of the unit manager stated that her son committed suicide because she drove him to it which is not hard to believe base on what she put the employees through on a daily basis.

[core34]

I'm sorry you had to experience that. I'd be upset too!!! If it were me -- I'd show up for the next

scheduled shift, head high, keep to myself, bust my butt to show I'm valuable and can handle these situations, etc. Then I'd go to my NM and let her know it was my last shift. I'd let her know that I wasn't staying til the end of the schedule b/c I didn't feel comfortable in an environment that didn't support MY needs when I was trying to support HER needs. I wouldn't get into it, I just leave it at that. Don't apologize for leaving her hanging. Let her scramble to fill up the schedule -- that's her job; and if she did her job correctly and justly, she wouldn't BE scrambling to fill up a schedule, she'd retain good nurses. Sounds like she spends more time pleasing the needs of spoiled brat RN's who throw hissy fits/temper tantrums then keeping good staff.

I truly hope your new job works out for the best. It's saving grace that you can see the end in sight. Take some time off in between! 2 Full time jobs at the same time???? phewww! Good luck with everything!

[RN1982]

Consider this a lesson learned in how to deal with idiot co-workers. The next time this happens, tell them that they do not have the right to talk to you like that and walk away. You didn't need to stand there and explain how you were changing the assignments around so his was a better assignment while he screamed at you. You could have said "You have no right to speak to me like that." and walk away. And never let them see you cry, that's what they want because it will make you look weak. If you do decide to go back until January, go back with your head held high like another poster mentioned.

[meadow85]

First off, how immature and unprofessional of your co-worker. If you need to say something, speak to that person in private instead of degrading them in public. You should have walked away and allowed them to cool down and for you to collect your thoughts. I have had a senior co-worker yell at me in front of everyone because we had such a busy night and I forgot to book a sitter for my confused patient, which is also the charge nurses responsibility. That charge nurse also scolded me for not reminding her, meanwhile I was telling her all night how much grief that patient was giving me. I was later told my other co-workers that I should have walked away. At the time I had just finished a 12 hr night shift and my brain was fried, so I didn't have any fight in me. And I thought it would be "disrespectful" to basically yell back at her since she is older than my own mother. I went home and cried and came up with this big speech I would give her, but the next day she acted like nothing happened. That has happened to be twice now. I swear, people are like bi-polar. I need to stop letting things slide because their personality issues need to be addressed sooner or later, but I am also fearful of the repercussions (i.e. being ostracized since I am the new girl causing problems). I feel like I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place at times.

Secondly, it was very loyal of you to decide to stay until the end of the schedule. But from experience I have found managers to be very petty when they find out you are leaving. I hope you are able to leave unscathed and move on gracefully. Good luck with whatever you decide. You deserve a manager who will support you and treat you respectfully and fairly.

[RN1982]

Hey Meadow, I had a senior nurse yell at me before. One time it was because I didn't change the room numbers on the patient's new flowsheet and MAR. I had moved the patient from Bed 11 to Bed 1 and the nurse says "Thats confusing, what if I get the meds messed up" To which I said, " I thought we were taught to look at the patient's name and ID number before administering meds"...She shut up.

She tried me again the next time saying, I put the wrong activity on the report sheet than was listed on the facesheet. Not a big deal since the patient had four different activity levels ordered. She hadn't even gotten report, I would have told her what the freakin' activity level was but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO she wanted to jab at me about it. I don't know what I said but I know I raised my voice. She left me alone after that.

Sometimes I think people like this, bullies as I would call them, want to test you to see how much they can get away with.