Attention nurse bullies... and victims!!

Nurses Relations

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Hello fellow nurses! One of my last projects for my RN-BSN program will be on lateral violence in nursing. I have a few questions for those who have been involved in bullying just so I can gain perspective.

Questions for the bullies (you know who you are and only the brave will answer...ha!):

What sets bullies off? Are you just angry people in general which carries over to your treatment of others? Do you realize it affects patient care? Tell me what drives you nuts at work. What is the most effective way someone has responded to you to get you to back off?

Questions for the victims:

Have you ever left a job because of bullying? How do you respond to bullying... ignore/confront? Does your facility have a way they deal with bullies? Have you noticed it directly affects the way you provide care for your patients?

NO JUDGEMENT HERE! Please be honest with your responses and maybe we can get a healthy dialogue going.

Thanks in advance!

I don't think if anyone puts up their personal information on this board that they care who knows where their issues took place. And it is a warning to others looking for work. Just my opinion.

Congratulations for finding a way to blame NETY. I personally have never observed a nurse eating her young. I have, however, observed many a young'un attempting to masticate her elders.

It has been my observation that those who are most concerned about finding bullies in the workplace are the same people who exhibit behaviors commonly attributed to bullies toward their "elders."

I have been a nurse for over 30 years and worked in both acute and long term care and have seen many different types of bullies. Don't know how you never saw it. And experienced nurses still continue to eat their young, so to speak. It is disgusting. Everyone is new some time. There is no excuse for either behavior.

1 Votes

Forgive me. What is NETY?

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I don't think if anyone puts up their personal information on this board that they care who knows where their issues took place. And it is a warning to others looking for work. Just my opinion.

But it can have some serious repercussions- there have been nurses disciplined over postings on social media. Facebook requires a name, which makes it very easy, but the PP gave out so much identifying information that it would be very easy for that particular employer to identify her. And admitting she has a file of paperwork at home from a job she no longer works? Yeah, that could be serious trouble.

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
Forgive me. What is NETY?

Nurses Eat Their Young. The fallacy that many experienced nurses go after the younger nurses for various, usually trivial reasons. AKA bullying, and also like the word bullying, far too overused for things that don't meet the true criteria.

Specializes in Nursing Home, Dementia units, & Hospital.

I personally don't think that those that bully even realize in the beginning that they are bullying. Then as time goes on they believe they are trying to improve the nurse. As someone who has been bullied I can tell you that I tend to keep to myself and just do my job the best I can. Some days it makes for a long shift. I love what I do, but sometimes I don't think that administration really knows what's going on sometimes.

But it can have some serious repercussions- there have been nurses disciplined over postings on social media. Facebook requires a name, which makes it very easy, but the PP gave out so much identifying information that it would be very easy for that particular employer to identify her. And admitting she has a file of paperwork at home from a job she no longer works? Yeah, that could be serious trouble.

I don't know why she went as detailed as she did. But it is her prerogative, though most of us prefer to remain anonymous.

I agree but I guess my point is that she doesn't care. Maybe she is ready to take them on.

Specializes in COHC.

I know someone who will probably be commenting on this. My story is not as interesting. However, I work a side job as an agency nurse. I go to many different hospitals. I am not always treated well be the staff. Anyway, I recently had an encounter where I happened to write my CNA's name on a dry erase board. I got her name wrong, which is not that big of a deal. I get a call from her stating that she knows what my name is, so it is really rude that I do not know hers. She stated that if I better watch out or she may key my car. I was listening to this with the speaker as the charge nurse was sitting right beside me. She just gave a weird look and walked away. I stated, "is she serious, or just joking?" Since I am agency, I did not wish to get anyone into trouble. I also had to work with the CNA for the rest of the night. So, I apologized to her. She laughed and said, "Yea, you are a real %&*#!. It seemed as though she was joking, but I felt that it was really inappropriate. I let it go, lucky for her. If she did one more thing, I probably would have reported her to the administrator. However, since I am agency, and not an employee of the facility, I am not sure if it would have done any good.

As a victim of bullying when I was a younger nurse, I can attest that NETY. Some of the hostility towards younger nurses is rooted in job insecurity. The new grads can be hired at cheaper salaries, they may already have their BSN degree, and they are more current. I witness bullying now as an educator towards student nurses, which I am quick to intervene.

1 Votes
Specializes in cardiology, psychiatry, corrections.

I would love to help you out here! I have been bullied in the past. I didnt quit my job because of the bully. The manner in which I was bullied was that the bully often deliberately failed to communicate important patient info. When I would ask a question, the bully ignored me or pretended not to hear. I would respond by saying in a somewhat loud and stern manner: "(bully's name)! I'm asking you a question. What/why/when........?" to draw some negative attention to the bully. S/he usually straightened up after that. The facility had a policy in place with very low tolerance for it. However, another person who was being bullied by the same person complained to the manager and implied that they would report the bully to HR. The bully already had a documented history of undergoing mandated counseling in regards to bullying. (an attitude adjustment class basically). The manager told that person that if the bully was reported to HR, the bully would be terminated, and the manager threatened that person with retaliation if that happened. That person didn't report it to HR in fear of their safety and livelihood, unfortunately.

I can also tell you that bullies were often bullied themselves. I recall this from a psychology class I once took, and saw for myself in real life: I met somebody who knew another former co-worker of mine who had bullying tendencies. The person I met one worked with this person at another hospital, and she wasn't treated very well at times. I was so shocked, because this nurse is/was the type that didn't tolerate any crap. I also knew of another former coworker of this person, and the other person confirmed it: s/he was a nobody. S/he wasn't treated well and s/he was passing it on to others less experienced.

My experience on bullying both as a recipient when I was new and now as an observer on the side is that on my ward the bullies identify themselves as fiercely protective of our patients.

The culture of my ward is set that our patients have always received top notch intelligent, timely and life saving care and if you as a new grad can't make the cut and demonstrate that you make sharp observations and can critically think, you will be hounded (watched very closely and questioned) because you aren't trusted to keep the patients safe. Students/new grads that can demonstrate that if they aren't sure if something they will ask someone is trusted to work on our ward and not expected to know everything. Is it extreme? Oh yeah. Our ward DOES get recognized for above average care and good numbers in quality audits, but we are also known as one of the worst for 'eating the Young' and other wards, like PACU and other hospitals sending us patients, know as as the overly aggressive report takers because we ask lots of specific questions.

My own experience with being bullied is that I didn't recognize an anti seizure medication by its official name since we all call it by trade name on the floor. When I told the nurse orienting me that I needed to look it up before I gave it she said "really!?!? You've been a student and new grad on this ward for HOW long and you need to look it up!??" When I did and saw that it was a drug I had given regularly and new the side effects and risks for and said "oh! It's Tegretol" she stopped staring at me like I was the dumbest thing and carried on with her lesson (which was actually an excellent one that I still use today about nursing like a waitress. Never enter or exit a room empty handed)

Specializes in OR.

There is a difference between being sharp/astute and desiring to ensure the newer folks come up to that level and torturing people. When the goal is ensuring superior patient care, I don't think it is bullying. When it is done "for fun" or to plump up someone's ego, it is bullying.

As a baby nurse myself, I worked in a very high acuity unit. There were some incredibly great nurses there and some that were colossal b*****s. In some cases, they were one in the same. I washed out of that unit after 4 months. I went home crying every day and dreaded going to work. Was I tormented into leaving? Nope. It just was not my cup of tea. I will always remember those first nurses I worked with, ones that never had a friendly or polite thing to say to me, as hardcore patient advocates who were dang good at their jobs.

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