Hello fellow nurses! One of my last projects for my RN-BSN program will be on lateral violence in nursing. I have a few questions for those who have been involved in bullying just so I can gain perspective.
Questions for the bullies (you know who you are and only the brave will answer...ha!):
What sets bullies off? Are you just angry people in general which carries over to your treatment of others? Do you realize it affects patient care? Tell me what drives you nuts at work. What is the most effective way someone has responded to you to get you to back off?
Questions for the victims:
Have you ever left a job because of bullying? How do you respond to bullying... ignore/confront? Does your facility have a way they deal with bullies? Have you noticed it directly affects the way you provide care for your patients?
NO JUDGEMENT HERE! Please be honest with your responses and maybe we can get a healthy dialogue going.
Hey Persephone Paige, while I agree with you, I have also seen this approach backfire. Some nursing units are especially 'cliquey' and if a new nurse is just naturally reserved, quiet, and not overly ingratiating, they are sometimes labeled as 'snobs', or standoffish. With that, comes the inevitable snubs and it's only a matter of time until they tire of the mind games, bad treatment, and are looking elsewhere for a new job-seen it happen more than once!
I guess you'd have to care about being labeled. But, okay.
You're right -- I misread "young, and pretty" and "young and pretty." And there have been so many posts from young people who believe that their older colleagues hate them because they're beautiful.
I read too quickly and made assumptions. I apologize.
Some older women can be jealous of young and pretty women, not all but some.
I get that. And I do get that everyone is wired differently. But, what are they going to do? They can't kill you and if they can't kill you, what can they do? It's my hope that every nurse who is having a hard time right now will one day understand this. If I ask for information and someone withholds it, I'll call the charge nurse one floor up and ask. Or the house supervisor... That's the only situation that could unnerve me, was if I needed info and someone knew but wouldn't share. Otherwise, they can stay on their own side of the street and welcome.
As far as bullying goes, nursing and in life in general, people only do to you what you let them do. Bullies pick on those whom they perceive to be weak. Nip things in the bud from the start and you should be fine.
Bullies are relentless. So lets say you won't allow yourself to be bullied, so now they go after your job and get you fired. Try going up against a nurse that has 10 years exp with the same organization and you are a recent hire or less than 2 years. It never ends well. It's best to just leave before tensions escalate pass a point of no return.
I have been on the receiving end of bullying once. This person was my preceptor and incredibly nasty to me. She would comb through my charts even after I was off orientation looking for any mistakes then publicly berating me even if the mistake was tiny. She once told my patient "i'm so sorry for you that you have her as your nurse" this was months into her daily harassment of me. I was so shocked and embarrassed I couldn't speak. My patient actually told her her comments were mean and unnecessary. She laughed and said obviously she was only joking. Yeah right!
I hated my job and hated going to work. I tried speaking with her, being friendly with her, ignoring the comments and eventually had to go with trying to avoid her which was very difficult in the unit we worked in. When I spoke to my manager about her she actually made excuses for her behaviour.
By far the worst part is how many people witnessed how I was being treated never once defended me or called her on her behavior. The patient was the only person who ever acknowledged that she was openly targeting me. She abruptly left after about a year and I couldn't have been happier, but honestly even years later I struggle to let go of my anger with the managers and coworkers who ignored her atrocious behavior. It gave me great satisfaction to resign that job for a better one and to tell them no I wouldn't consider staying when the manager begged me not to leave.
I think the degree of bullying that is allowed to exist in nursing greatly surpasses anything conceivable in any other profession, and sometimes even strains credulity.
That was my experience. For that reason, I am no longer in it.
I am in the alternate NP universe.
I know some people are lucky, and they only encounter the occasional mildly unpleasant colleague.
I've spoken out against bullying in the workplace and schools for years. I just got an e-mail which included the following article on bullying in Nursing.
I have been on the receiving end of bullying once. This person was my preceptor and incredibly nasty to me. She would comb through my charts even after I was off orientation looking for any mistakes then publicly berating me even if the mistake was tiny. She once told my patient "i'm so sorry for you that you have her as your nurse" this was months into her daily harassment of me. I was so shocked and embarrassed I couldn't speak. My patient actually told her her comments were mean and unnecessary. She laughed and said obviously she was only joking. Yeah right!
I hated my job and hated going to work. I tried speaking with her, being friendly with her, ignoring the comments and eventually had to go with trying to avoid her which was very difficult in the unit we worked in. When I spoke to my manager about her she actually made excuses for her behaviour.
By far the worst part is how many people witnessed how I was being treated never once defended me or called her on her behavior. The patient was the only person who ever acknowledged that she was openly targeting me. She abruptly left after about a year and I couldn't have been happier, but honestly even years later I struggle to let go of my anger with the managers and coworkers who ignored her atrocious behavior. It gave me great satisfaction to resign that job for a better one and to tell them no I wouldn't consider staying when the manager begged me not to leave.
Most times when you try to defend someone who is being picked on, the bully then tries to target you. Unfortunately, it was better for them that they stay out of it because that meant she left them alone.
I'm the type that if I see someone constantly being bullied and finally the victim speaks up for himself/herself, then I will intervene to try to redirect focus on patients and be supportive. I can't afford to put myself at crossfire because an individual hasn't learned to be assertive enough to deal with foolishness because what would happen is I will lose my job and the victim and the bully will still be there working.
Persephone Paige, ADN
1 Article; 696 Posts
I guess you'd have to care about being labeled. But, okay.