Are many nurses products of abusive/drug dependent homes & parents?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I have heard several times, including in nursing school; that many nurses are products of broken homes, drug dependent/sickly parents, abuse etc. I have not been able to find true statistics online about this topic. I remember a nursing instructor listed a stat as high as 85% of nurses come from drug/sick/abusive homes and parents.

If you are willing to share your own personal story or also have a link to an article that shows data r/t this topic, I would be very interested.

I'll start by saying that growing up my Mom was and still is a very strong habitual marijuana user. Now I know some would argue that pot is not as bad as others or whatever. I'm not trying to start a discussion on that issue. But with my MOM, she had to smoke, all day long, every day. Wake up, smoke, eat, smoke, smoke before work, smoke before she went to bed, road trips etc. And if she wasn't " high" she was quite cranky. She also was abusive to me. Her and my Dad had a rocky relationship the last few years and she took it out on me. Verbally, emotionally, physically, spit in my face...etc. It caused my parents to have even more arguements, including physical, cause my Dad would stick up for me.

On to my father, he also was a substance user, cocaine, early on in the 80's, in fact he went to rehab shortly after I was born for some time. However, I don't recall him ever relapsing or such afterwards. He did however, have cardiac and renal disease (PKD), he had MVP repair and CABG when I was 7, and I remember, he had a very SLOW recovery, and just was always very sickly afterwards. He tried his best to help, try and coach me when I played basketball and in band, but he was physically limited. He ended up on dialysis for 5 years before having a MI at the age of 60.

My family situation made my grow up real fast, I had to help care for two younger siblings, who honestly did not have it like I did. By the time they were my age (teenager), our parents had divorced and did not live together. I would say it affected me the most. But, I do believe it has made me a stronger person and a better mother and nurse. In fact, when I get angry with my child, often I distinctly remember how my Mother would lash out at me, and I am able to recompose myself, something I am proud that I am able to do. Cause I remember how devastated I was when I was younger. Oh course, I do not abuse pot or any other drugs. Which I believe was part of my Mom's issue, along with stress from relantionship with my Dad.

Thank you for reading, I know it is a long post. I just wanted to share my story and I am interested in other's similiar stories. And again, if you have a article or link to such data, Please also post it.

Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

There was a thread similar to this one a while back, I believe. I wouldn't know

how to link back to it.

Anyway, I also grew up in a pretty good home; parents are still together.

My mom, aunt, and sister in law were nurses, so it was destiny I think. :o

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in PDN; Burn; Phone triage.

I think my life story hits just about every statistic --) father is a high functioning alcoholic, mother a major depressive who would take to bed for months on end, parents fought constantly, my father and my (older) brother fought physically. I have my own mental health issues. On top of that, my father is a doctor and my mother did foster care for children with medical needs; and my sister was born with a severe congenital heart defect, so I spent many of my younger years in hospitals.

(I have a spotty memory of my childhood but one of my earlier memories is of my father taking me and my younger sister to his job - he is an ER doctor - because my mom was in the psych hospital after trying to kill herself. I helped the unit secretary answer phones!)

However, I can't say that I am a "fixer" by any means. In fact, I'm pretty much the opposite, and tend to get angry with people who resolve their own issues.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I once heard that 90% of health care providers came from homes with addiction. This can be drugs or alcohol. Also it said that the same percentage were first children. The reasoning is that we have all learned to be perfect little care givers and that is how we get our ego boosted. I certainly can relate. It is true for me and even 30+ years in nursing I see I am a perfect co for any addict. Let me help you.... However after recovering from my own addiction I have realized that the coloring box does not just have black and white crayons. There are other colors too. The same with emotions there are more than OK and not OK. Life has gotten better as I have learned that I too deserve being taken care of. It has been a hard lesson to learn. Secondly, other health professionals are great denyers. I remember one hospital where I went for a new employee blood test and when they saw my tracks and burnt out veins they said nothing other than we will have to draw your blood from the femoral artery. No comment from them which assured me that no one knew my secret. Thank you for sharing what I think is an all too familiar tale.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

The more I have thought about this subject the more I came to realize that nurse have a common specific character trait that makes us want to help and heal......which leads us to some pretty painful personal relationships because we think we can "fix them".

Up Vote Up Vote ×

deff disagree

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This is my first post so im kind of new at this. I have read some of the other posts and it gives me courage to share my story.I for one came from an unhappy home. My parents divorced when i was 2 and my mother was very abusive both verbally and physically.However, I dont know if this had any affect on my decision in becoming a nurse.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Surgery.

My behavioral health nursing professor told my class the same thing in nursing school. She didn't have any research to back it up but I did wonder. Personally, I had a very bad childhood. I was abused emotionally, physically, and sexually. Addiction runs in my family and quite a few members are alcoholics, drug addicts, or both. My father left when I was a baby. My mother has been married and divorced 3 times. Thankfully, I have been pretty resilient. Though I did move to the other side of the country as soon as I could so most of my family drama doesn't reach me anymore. I have no idea if my childhood had anything to do with my decision to become a nurse.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

hmmmm......i wonder where/what research your instructor used to come up with the 85%.:specs: can you ask her where she obtained the info. from? as an instructor, i usually ask my students what made them want to become a nurse....a high percentage have said they decided after they observed nurses taking care of their sick loved ones. they either truly admired and respected them :bow: or they thought they could be a better one (nurse) :heartbeat. but, no one said it was because they had an abusive/addictive family background.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Student LPN.
To the OP: If you can find a copy of Tanya Hugh's (not sure if that's entirely speelled right) book "I'm Dying To Help You", she published stats on your questions. Book was published in the 80's and one of the first about nurse addicts.

Thank you. I will look into it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in none.

Who are these people that gather these stats? Do they have real jobs or what?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Well...it was me, myself, and I when I grew up.

My dad was not around much when I was young. So I can say it was a broken home.

My mom (a nurse) worked so hard to support me, my dad (who told me nurses are doctors' assistants), her mom, her brother (who had a job but always didn't have enough money), and her nephew (from that brother).

Throw in a couple of times of being molested from some people I know. Being told I was fat and stupid. Cried my self to sleep q night.

What made me want to be a nurse? I have to say it was because my mom took me to the hospital with her (too many times). My job was a sitter. My payments were foods and candy since I was less than 10 then. Her pts were pitty of me. How nice of them!!! A gift shop was my play ground and a library. Cafeteria was my kitchen....etc. You got the picture.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I think the reason the statistic is so high is because there are so many abusive/drug dependent homes. I am part of this statistic by the way! But I think if you looked outside of Nursing you would find the same statistic every where else. I think in Nursing people are more likely to talk about their home issues because it is more acceptable. I defintely have shared my past with my coworkers. However, my brother in a non nursing career would NEVER talk about our family life with his coworkers because of the social stigma and in his work world they are PERFECT or in denial however you want to look at it. I mean you can't be an executive and have a crazy mom and a drug addict father and be able to make good decisions?

So I guess my opinion is that its not causative. I don't think the majority of nurses became nurses because of these reasons. I think it just happens to be a coincidence.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment