anyone online now, can you help me, it's so urgent

[bulletproofbarb]

I'm going to work in a couple of hours. I have done something I feel very guilty about and can't stop thinking about it.

I have been off work for a few months because my epilepsy went out of control. This is my 4th week back. I have been gradually building up my days so not back to my full hours yet.

Up until now, I have been open and honest with my manager who has been so supportive. But, on Friday gone, things came to a head for me.

I take a tablet, lamictal at 6pm and by 8pm get slightly drowsy but able to function still, but slower and can only concentrate on one thing at a time. On Friday I was so frustrated by it and almost started crying but refused to cry and became consumed with rage. It was quiet so I left half an hour early. if I stayed a minute longer I would have exploded. I just couldn't take it anymore.

So, I stopped taking the tablet. A couple of people know at work but I haven't told the manager, nor have I told her about Friday. I am working today and the weekend. I see my Neurologist on Monday.

I feel so guilty for lying to her, I told her I didn't get drowsy anymore so she gave me another shift.

From 2pm to 8pm I am fine and can do 100 things at once and it's like it used to be before I got sick. But my shift hours can't be changed, they don't fit in the roster. I need the money, I don't want to leave where I work but god, I feel so guilty, it's eating me up.

Do I say something today or just wait till I see the neuro on Monday. I can't look at her in the eye.

[bulletproofbarb]

You need to stop with the pity party. You just admitted that you are making excuses. Once you stop your meds, all bets are off on the seizure prediction betting table. Make the smart decision. Harsh words perhaps, but this is a very serious situation. I am giving you my honest no BS answer.

I know you are right. I shall say something when I go in today. It's too rude to do it over the phone. I shall have to wear the consequences I guess.

Actually, I tried to say something the other day but couldn't catch her, she was busy. I was going to go back, then I lost my cool and couldn't do it.

[withasmilelpn]

OK, first off, why exactly do you have to take your lamictal at that time anyway? Give your neurologist a call and see if a simple change in the times it's taken can be done, like for example at the end of your shift? How many times a day do you take it and are you on any other seizure medications? I had a lot of peds cases that were on seizure meds and we were constantly adjusting them according to the kids needs and schedule (if drowsiness was a side effect for example, we'd give it at bedtime if possible.) Always call them before you make a change like that. And be aware of the side effects too before you start something as to how it might impact you at work. I had this issue too with starting an antidepressant before I went to work and I got pretty impaired unfortunately. Noone was harmed, thank goodness and my body did adjust after a few days, but I will never make that mistake again! Remember too, that it can take a while for your body to adjust, ok? Good luck and please call your MD!

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Ok, maybe I have a solution

You need to take this med three times a day, so set your alarm and take one dose at night. Your blood levels will stay up, and you won't be drowsy when you are at work.

Does that work?

[TazziRN, RN]

Stopping one dose is no better than stopping all of them. Your neuro obviously felt that you needed all the meds, and if you remove one from the equation you risk a seizure.

You know what you have to do.

[Grace Oz]

Barb, take care of this matter now! You know what you have to do! NO excuses!

I'm here if you need or want to talk, privately. Just PM me, ok?

Take care of both yourself AND others affected by your place in their life!

Always remember, what goes around, comes around. If you want to be trusted and respected, you must live accordingly. But... you already know this!

(((hug)))

[sofaraway04]

I know you are right. I shall say something when I go in today. It's too rude to do it over the phone. I shall have to wear the consequences I guess.

I'd suggest you ring in now, because it's likely you will get sent home. if you ring in now they have a chance of finding someone to cover your shift.

maybe you could see if your neuro is able to speak on the phone to you today, or fit you in for an appointment.

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

Grace OZ has said it all.

[bulletproofbarb]

I am back.

I rang the GP and told him and also the manager. The GP couldn't gauarntee that I wouldn't have a seizure without the tablet but then he also said he couldn't guarantee I wouldn't with it either..does that make sense.

I take it at 6pm because it gives me nightmares if I take the whole dose at 10pm when I get home. I take 50mg at 6pm and 100mg at 10pm. We did it like that because all of it at once at 6pm made me unfunctionable and all at night gave me nightmares and I couldn't sleep and no sleep = seizures.

They (GP and manager) have let me stay at work and I shall speak to the neuro on Monday. Maybe he can work something out.

I have never been seziure free 100% even on meds but I have myoclonic seizures so have been able to cope okay, like I don't lose consciousness so if I wake up and have the seizures then I ring in sick...usually about 3 or 4 times a year.

For some reason this year it has been a bad year.

I am glad I said something, I was feeling so guilty it was stressing me out.

[june2007]

My prayers are with you. However, you are about to put yourself, your facility and other innocent people at risk. If you dont want to expose all your business to your boss, why dont you take a few days off until you see your doctor. Hopefully, you have sick time available, you might even want to consider taking out a disability policy if you dont have one as yet and dont forget, your doctor cannot help you if you are not helping yourself, by taking your anti-seizure medication. Best of good wishes.

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

Im glad it worked out. God bless you sweetie.