Anyone else get emotional about the nursing homes?

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Specializes in PICU/NICU/ER.

Just a little vent, but not really, lol. I just finished day 2 in the ECF and have a very pleasant resident. I did some extra helping out because my resident is pretty independent and fed several residents who are unable to do it on their own. One was usually very uncooperative according to staff and must have liked me because she smiled and had a happy look in her eyes. Another resident was not verbal and I got her to eat a little, but she just wanted to sit and hold my hand. She was so desperate to be touched and loved. Looking at the photos of who they used to be and of family members that rarely visit really got to me too. And I won't even start about the staff that handled them like they're sacks of meat or wheel them into a room with a wall of windows, with a beautiful view, but choose to put them facing a blank wall!!!! I've held it together in a very professional way on both days and my clinical instructor gave me a great compliment. She said I was "a natural", which I really appreciated since I'm doing my best. But on the way home when I called my mom to tell her about my day, I lost it. I was sobbing over how incredibly sad it is there. It was like I could see into their souls by looking into their eyes and feel their loneliness. It was very overwhelming once I was out of there for the day.

Is there a such thing as caring too much? My mom reminded me that I reacted this way when I got my CNA in highschool but I'm 35 years old for God sake! Is this just a newbie thing? Does anyone else or has anyone else had this reaction after doing ECF/LTC clinical rotations? Thanks for reading :redbeathe

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Hospice.

Yes, it can make a person sad to be in the LTC facilities sometimes. Just know that you are giving them some personal attention (which they crave). Tomorrow I'll be in the nursing home for about 5 hours seeing my pts., most of them don't know if I'm there or not, but I still sit and hold their hand for a bit while I'm doing my assessment. I also talk to them as if they hear and understand everything I'm saying. Sounds like you're going to be a good nurse!

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Specializes in Neuro, Neuro ICU.

I worked in LTC as a CNA for 2 days, but had to quit because I was disgusted with the staff. I heard a CNA call a resident the B word for being "combative" but when I went to help dress her, she was completely fine. All I did was explain to her exactly what I was doing and she was fine. I saw this frail old lady laying naked in bed, and imagined it being my grandma...and wondered what she would say or feel, if she was able to communicate it. It literally broke my heart.

I don't think there is such a thing as caring too much when it comes to your patients/residents. I know it can be hard on you, but as long as you know you are making a difference in someone's life, (even if its by holding a hand, or talking with them) and remind yourself why you are doing it, its all worth it.

I wish all nurses had your compassion! :)

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I worked as a CNA for almost 5 years in 2 different nursing homes. Both places took really good care of the residents compared with stories I've heard of other places. It is really sad....especially for those residents that are really sick and for those that have no family/friends left. I remember a lot of the residents I've taken care of and will always remember but this one lady always sticks out. Her and her sister in their younger years traveled the world. She had pictures and tons of photo albums in her room. It was so great! I used to love sitting down with her and flipping through the pics. She couldn't take care of herself, and barely knew where she was but boy could she tell you about her travels that were probably 50+ years before! I LOVE the elderly and if the pay were the same, I definitely see myself working in a nursing home. I know that sounds bad but nurses make squat in nursing homes compared to hospital work. But eventually if I don't fit into the hospital environment, I'll be skipping to the nearest nursing home, lol. Anyway.....you're going to come in contact with a lot of sad stories no matter where you go. Good luck!

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Specializes in Operating Room.

Nursing home rotation was the worst emotionally for me. I didn't see any questionable behavior from staff -- but reports from my classmates indicate that not all nursing homes were nicely ran like that. Our assignment was to do a complete assessment on one patient, so we had a lot of time to talk to th em over the course of the day. All of them seemed depressed and lonely to me. Then I get emotional when I imagine if this was my grandma or my mother (in the future). These people are stuck in their room all day, hardly any interaction except for during meals and activities such as bingo. It just didn't seem right. Where I come from, you are to take care of your parents. There are no nursing homes. I just couldn't figure out why anyone could leave their parents at nursing homes. Yes, I am aware of the reasons, some of which I think are legitimate... but if other people in other countries can do it, why can't we? This is not a lone feeling of mine. My classmate from Europe also said she would never leave her parents in a nursing home, it just wouldn't fly in her culture either. I'm getting off my soap box now; but being there did teach me a lot and I appreciate all the staff who take on enormous responsibilities for so many residents. Kudos, and they aren't paid well enough.

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I start my LTC clinicals in 2 weeks, and this is exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm a very emotional person in the first place, but the elderly hold a special place in my heart. I hear the nursing home we are assigned to has a great reputation and really takes care of their patients though.

Btw, love your user name :)

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I've been a CNA for two years at LTC that treats the residents really well. I don't know your circumstances, but you've only gotten a short time & a piece of what really happens. Truth be told in LTC the supervisors/managers try to cut corners by understaffing. As CNAs we try to do our best, but sometimes it's just so hard because of the sheer number of residents that we are assigned. I will have 13-14 residents by myself, and it is a struggle to see them all off to bed some days. Also the stereotype of the elderly as sweet and kind is not always true. Those residents that are nice to you in the dining room may be throwing their own feces at me at 9:00 PM when I am desperately trying to clean up their own excrement and turn them. I have been spat on, call every name in the book, spit, punched, threatened, had numerous objects throw at me ... all in the name of trying to care for people. I love my job, and I love everyone of my residents, but please try to see it from the staff's side of things to. There are some truely bad nurses & CNAs in LTC that really don't care about the residents and those people REALLY get my nerves boiling -- we have a couple of those at my work. But some of us are just doing the best we can with the circumstances, and for all that we do we have medication spat in our face; some nights its really challenging. Working with the elderly & particularly the demented is not an easy job at all, though that is not an excuse for mistreatment.

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Specializes in PICU/NICU/ER.

Shayla, the purpose of my post was not to pick on the staff. I appreciate the kind of work you do and couldn't imagine doing it day in and day out. The staff was a very, very small part of the equation that got me emotional about the nursing home. As a CNA myself, I do look at things from all sides. Please don't take my post as an attack on nursing home staff, if you read it again, you will see that it was not. I understand that the elderly can be difficult, but they are also very vulnerable and need to be treated with dignity.

The purpose of my post was to share my feelings with my fellow students and to see if I'm alone in my reaction. We are here to support one another and I was reaching out for that.

I'm sure you do a great job, under difficult circumstances too! Keep up the good work.

Also, thank you to everyone for your kind words and support. That was a rough afternoon for me, and now I'm all geared up and ready to go back next week and do my best :nurse:

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It is depressing. Just tonight, one of my residents was telling me about how she taught her son to whistle. I was just sitting there thinking about how these people once had full lives, with families, friends, love, laughter, jobs, their own homes, etc.

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Specializes in PICU/NICU/ER.

Yes, exactly. It's sad to think that they "used to be" somebody and now here they are. I did much better on my second week there but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad that this clinical is over :)

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Most of residents (we only have 6) rarely get visitors. Some of them will sit all day long on the weekends waiting for a visitor that never shows up. It kills me. I want to call them up and say "Come visit your mother/father/brother/sister/cousin/aunt/uncle/whatever! JUST COME!"

Then we've got one woman who will call at, say, 7pm and say "I don't know if I'll get up there to visit ______ today". Come on, its 7pm, you KNOW you aren't coming.

We've also got one man who will come over and drop something off or whatever and not even speak to his mother. Then someone will invariably say "______, your son was here earlier". So then she's hurt because they didn't bother to say hi to her.

It kills me.

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Specializes in Medical Surgical/Addiction/Mental Health.

Sarah,

I had the same experience. I fed a client her breakfast and lunch. It was during lunch she looked me in the eyes. Someone was there. I felt her. I saw her. I know that facilities are short staffed and people do the best they can do. I also know there are budgets that need to be made, so they don't staff a person full time for the sake of feeding people.

I expressed my feelings during my clinical evaluations. My instructor told me if I had those feelings, LTC was the area I needed to focus. She said she felt I would lose my sense of humor if I worked in a hospital setting. I don't know if I could seriously work in LTC without taking the baggage home with me. There was an RN who worked the unit we were assigned. Because we all took 6 clients each, the RN did not need to do medications or treatments. She was still bogged down with paperwork to complete.

I am beginning to think that it is not at all the nurses or CNA's, it's the insurance companies demanding all of this red tape that hinders nurses from truly caring for the clients.

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