And now for something completely different

[FullMoonMadness]

Hi ya'll.

I have to make a brief,hopefully comical speech tomorrow at my pinning ceremony. This is very last minute and I am scrambling. I have come up with the following and need some feedback.

Top Ten signs You Have Been in Nursing School

10)Your family has had more in depth conversations with the Dominos Pizza guy than with you during the last 15 months

9) The dust bunnies under the couch are now considered pets and have all been named.

8)Yor family knows that living out of the dryer could be an alternate lifestyle

7)You have had the revalation that it is much easier to buy new socks and underwear than to wash the dirty ones.

6)You have come to the understanding that psycology is really biology, biology is really chemistry, chemistry is really physics and physics is really just math.

5)You have been heard talking in your sleep about afterload and preload and it still takes some thinking before you get it right.

4) Whike standing in lines at Walmart you catch yourself looking at peoples arms and say to yourself"I could get that in one stick".

3)Your dog just had puppies and you are on the floor trying to find her fundus.

2)You have been known to jump up out of bed and get dressed for clinical, get in your car and the realize that its Saturday and you dont have class,

10 You have learned to prioritize and can now work full time 40 hours a week, go to school 40 hours a week,study 40 hours a week,sleep 15 hours a week,can balance you checkbook, find your husbands keys,stir dinner on the stove, help your child with their math problem and assure them that 31 drops a minute is indeed the right answer, you do this all at one time and thats what you call critical thinking.

Well thats it. It needs some work. Any suggestions? Thanks.

[LeesieBug]

I think it's great! You did a good job. I especially like the one about talking in your sleep.

One that I have discovered myself is that I now practice medical asepsis while washing my hands in Wal-mart bathrooms. :chuckle

Feel free to add that in if you like it.

Good luck with your speech. I am sure it will be a big hit!

Congratulations on graduation!!!!!!!!!!!

[wonderbee, BSN, RN]

LOL! You were a big hit with me.

Congrats on your pinning day.

[CarVsTree]

:roll

It's hilarious!

[NurseDixie]

Loved it!

Especially the one about trying to find the dogs fundus, that cracked me up!

Great job!:roll

[prmenrs, RN]

EXCELLENT!! Good job!

Do you find yourself looking for those little bottles of antiseptic handcleaner to keep in your pocket for use just about every where?

[marilynmom, LPN, NP]

ROFLMAO!!!

Marilyn

[kimtab]

I love it! It's perfect, now relax and get happy.

[BunnyBunnyBSNRN, ASN, BSN]

Congo Rats on your pinning!

Don't forget that you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom!

[a_crftyldy]

Here's one (from personal experience):

Everyone in the neighborhood now comes to you for medical advice.

[kahumai, RN]

Talking in your sleep about preload and afterload is funny enough, but I've got one too.

I took my Health Assessment final the other day, and after realizing that I forgot all the cranial nerves I learned earlier in the semester, and after making a cranial nerve study guide for the shower, I actually had a vivid dream in which I went over all of them in my head! The quality of sleep I got that night was very poor, and my boyfriend woke me up the next morning saying "Glosso-what-were you-talking-about?!?" I told him I was apparently sleeping, dreaming and studying at the same time and now he thinks I'm nuts!!!

Welcome to nursing school!!!

:chuckle

[Dixen81]

I LOVED it! The WalMart line one really cracked me up! Congratulations on your pinning! You will be great!