Am I being too sensitive?

Anoetos, BSN, RN · May 24, 2013

Don't take this the wrong way, it's natural to feel this way, just try to remember: it's about the patients, it's not about you.

I'm almost borderline in my need for approval and acceptance and my mistrust of others. It helps me to remember this.

Jeepchick97 · May 24, 2013

I have the feeling that it IS about age...they probably feel that, other than nursing, they have little to nothing in common w/ you. JMO. Since it has been so long, maybe YOU should be the one to 'break the ice' in half (since you already know them) and just hang out w/ them wherever you said they are having their discussions, IF you want friendships w/ them. If not, then I wouldn't worry about it.

chrisrn24 · May 24, 2013

Just give it time...I worked at a school once where NOBODY talked to me because I was a sub and not one of "them." It was awkward and not fun! I know how it feels. Just do your thing and say hi good morning, etc if you walk by. Some works are so cliquey. In time they may warm up to you and if not then they are the ones with the problem, not you![/quote']
Exactly.
When I started at my job I felt left out but with time people warmed up.

Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN · May 24, 2013

"Intimidated by young age" ... OK, now I've had a laugh to put a smile on my face.
Seriously, everyone -- smile and go have a good day! :)

It can happen. I was an RN at 21 and have had two different older nurses with less experience make comments that they should be given responsibilities I have because "she's just a young girl," something like that. I'm sure the other side happens also. People sometimes like feeling threatened. :)

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · May 25, 2013

It's normal to feel that way - pretty much everyone gets that vibe once in a while, and it's unsettling and makes you uncomfortable.

Maybe they are talking about you. Maybe they're not. Either way, it's very rude of them to do so because it'd take a pretty clueless person to not know you'll draw that conclusion, real or imagined.

I don't think you're being overly sensitive - I think you're normal - but I'd let it go. To me they're being rude, regardless of their conversation, and that should speak volumes to you about them.

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · May 25, 2013

I have the feeling that it IS about age...they probably feel that, other than nursing, they have little to nothing in common w/ you. JMO. Since it has been so long, maybe YOU should be the one to 'break the ice' in half (since you already know them) and just hang out w/ them wherever you said they are having their discussions, IF you want friendships w/ them. If not, then I wouldn't worry about it.

I wouldn't 'hang out with them wherever' they 'are having their discussions'. That looks very high school, like - if I'm here, you won't talk about me. I agree with maybe breaking the ice, but they still seem very rude to me regardless. I wouldn't 'hang out' as you describe; I think that sends the wrong message.

Creamsoda, ASN, RN · May 25, 2013

I would just joke when I walk in "oh sorry were you talking about me, ill be out in a minute and you can continue" then laugh. your overthinking it.

Morainey, BSN, RN · May 25, 2013

It's tough sometimes to stop myself from saying something snotty like "Don't stop talking on my account!" I get very tongue-tied and am obviously not confrontational. I'll let it go though.

Yeah I really didn't want to mention age. But on nights I used to work with people who were close to me in age and even though a lot of us were in different life stages (getting married/divorced, pregnant, broke, buying a house or car, and so on) we were always chatty and friendly to each other, and unless we were telling a Deep Dark Secret in the med room we didn't stop talking when someone else came in. Just a different atmosphere, I guess!

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · May 25, 2013

I actually like creamsoda's idea as a way to 'call them out' without confrontation.

That might even snap them awake. And if it doesn't - then you've got valuable information on the kinds of people they are.

shmassrn · May 26, 2013

Honestly, I can appreciate how you might feel a bit bothered by this, but I concur with the other posters who have stated that their conversations are most likely not about you at all. It can take a long time before your coworkers feel comfortable around you. When I was new at my job, I swear it took a year before people were willing to just talk with me normally! This was the case also because everyone else had been together for years before I came. Your coworkers have likely known each other for years also and are close because of that. Just be consistent and friendly and I'm sure they will start including you more. : )

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · May 26, 2013

Thanks for the replies everybody!
Ok after I posted this and logged off I realized how self-involved I sound! Just to clarify, I don't think they're talking about me personally, I'm not that interesting and I am always the last person to hear about floor/unit politics, drama, power plays, etc. So yeah.
But anyway. The thing is, I'm NOT new to the unit or the floor. In fact I've worked with the same group of people for 3 years. So that's why I'm like, what the heck? All of the people who stop talking are the same people I've given report to, made out the assignment for, and have very definitely heard them COMPLAIN before, so it's not like they hold back because they don't know who I am.
Oh well! I will grow a thicker skin and try not to take it so personally. I'd rather not be involved in drama and gossip and stuff anyway... I just miss having buddies at work!

No, you do NOT want to be involved in the drama and gossip anyways...