Hey guys. I started a new job about 6 weeks ago. I was working at a small community hospital with a "home-y" type environment. I new everyone and everyone new me. I worked there for several years. Had GREAT buddies there, some of them my best friends now. Well, the new job is a whole other animal since it's a large hospital. I hardly have given report to the same nurse twice there's so many nurses. No surprise to many of you I'm sure. Small hospitals vs large are just wow, completely different in so many ways. I love the nursing change at my new job. I love the nurse pt ratio especially of 1:3 or 1:4 unlike my last job of mostly 1:5 and sometimes 1:6 (or even 7).
The only thing that I can't figure out is why I feel sad sometimes. It's like I really miss my friends at my old job, and it doesn't look like I'm going to fit in at my new place too well. The nurse that I'm following for a few more weeks is a lot of fun. She's a lot older than me and so are the others that I seem to "click" more with. The younger crowd (say, mid twenties) seem snobby. Ok, so like I'll be in the room with a few of them and they'll be talking and literally act like I'm not there. I'll interject, trying to show what I am not a snob and they don't respond and sometimes I'm like, "Ok maybe I'm invisible today." Also, even on the floor they just are so unfriendly. A couple days I've just gone in the bathroom and cried. I NEVER do this! I will say there's a few friendly folks but y'all, the majority even the charge nurses, seem to look over me when I'm around and will talk to the nurse I'm following and won't even look at me. Am I ridiculous? Is it normal to feel sad like this and miss the friendships I had? This is only my second job so I don't know.
No matter if they ever act like I'm around or not, I'm an adult and it really doesn't matter in the scheme of things bc I love what I'm doing and the pt care is why I'm here. But we spend many, many hrs at our jobs and I want to have fun while I'm there! I miss that part I guess. Maybe It will come with time.
Sounds normal. Stop trying so hard. Don't try to get them to include you in their conversation, just give it time and let them come to you.
Have you ever tried to get a dog or cat or other animal to accept you? I have learned to let them approach me, sniff my hand (hopefully no other parts, LOL), figure out that I come in peace, and am not a threat to them.
You might want to take in some donuts or bagels at some point, maybe just for your shift, otherwise it gets costly. But just to celebrate completing your orientation or "just because". You could share a picture of your pet or child with a couple of the staff if you have some down time. Or share some little tidbit, nothing too personal. Or just leave it alone and let some time go by, give them a chance to get to know you are a team player, you are not trying to take anything away from them, and let them see that you give great patient care.
Remember those long-ago classes where you learned about the 'stages of grief'? Grief is a natural reaction to any type of loss - not just death. When you lose something important, it triggers grief and feelings of depression. Eventually, you'll move on to acceptance & finding a way forward. See, those nursing fundamentals courses weren't worthless after all.
Specializes in med-surg, IMC, school nursing, NICU.
I can relate to this on so many levels! When I left my first hospital job to move to MD, I went from a decent sized hospital to a HUGE university affiliated medical center. The differences were palpable, hard to ignore and immediately apparent. I went from a close-knit staff, where I knew people in every department and could count on management to know me personally, to a giant hospital where I felt like little more than a cog in a giant machine. It was so disheartening and I don't think I ever truly got over it.
I was sad for months. I loved my first hospital. Was it perfect? No, of course not. But it was a great job and my new hospital was so different it took forever to shake the sadness. I missed the group of friends I made, too. It was hard.
I eventually got used to the changes but I never stopped longing for my old job. I think that distaste is part of why I left the hospital altogether to do school nursing. I don't think what you are feeling is abnormal and you are in my thoughts. I know how hard it can be.
I work in long term care, and am usually the only RN. I find it a bit isolating at times, since I dont have other nurses to commesurate with, and am the only one who is busy all shift (and most days, staying late to chart). However, my priority are my patients and my job.
Once you work enough, you'll form relationships with the other staff and it'll get better. If the other RNs aren't receptive to you, try the CNAs and auxiliary staff. It'll help you in the long run when you need their help down the road
Hey guys. I started a new job about 6 weeks ago. I was working at a small community hospital with a "home-y" type environment. I new everyone and everyone new me. I worked there for several years. Had GREAT buddies there, some of them my best friends now. Well, the new job is a whole other animal since it's a large hospital. I hardly have given report to the same nurse twice there's so many nurses. No surprise to many of you I'm sure. Small hospitals vs large are just wow, completely different in so many ways. I love the nursing change at my new job. I love the nurse pt ratio especially of 1:3 or 1:4 unlike my last job of mostly 1:5 and sometimes 1:6 (or even 7).
The only thing that I can't figure out is why I feel sad sometimes. It's like I really miss my friends at my old job, and it doesn't look like I'm going to fit in at my new place too well. The nurse that I'm following for a few more weeks is a lot of fun. She's a lot older than me and so are the others that I seem to "click" more with. The younger crowd (say, mid twenties) seem snobby. Ok, so like I'll be in the room with a few of them and they'll be talking and literally act like I'm not there. I'll interject, trying to show what I am not a snob and they don't respond and sometimes I'm like, "Ok maybe I'm invisible today." Also, even on the floor they just are so unfriendly. A couple days I've just gone in the bathroom and cried. I NEVER do this! I will say there's a few friendly folks but y'all, the majority even the charge nurses, seem to look over me when I'm around and will talk to the nurse I'm following and won't even look at me. Am I ridiculous? Is it normal to feel sad like this and miss the friendships I had? This is only my second job so I don't know.
No matter if they ever act like I'm around or not, I'm an adult and it really doesn't matter in the scheme of things bc I love what I'm doing and the pt care is why I'm here. But we spend many, many hrs at our jobs and I want to have fun while I'm there! I miss that part I guess. Maybe It will come with time.
Open for any advice or comments.
Thanks,
CB
*hugs* CB
Change sucks sometimes, even though we want it and need it for growth. I think what you are going through is perfectly normal.
When I started here as a SN I was desperately lonely, and I'm a friendly, talkative, social person.
Now, 2 years later, I've found my snarky little clique, I'm settled in, but NOTHING will ever take the place of that one great job, or that one great group of co-workers. Looking back on it is happy/sad, right? But it's another chapter, and you have many more ahead of you.
Sometimes that intangible sense of belonging is the omnipotent ingredient that makes the job tolerable to many people, including you. No, I do not think you are being ridiculous or abnormal.
This was one of the reasons I left my last job...I'm a 40 something, married for years, tween kids working with a bunch of 20 somethings planning weddings, baby showers and where the next happy hour was...it was not a very comfortable environment.
Kooky Korky, BSN, RN
5,216 Posts
Sounds normal. Stop trying so hard. Don't try to get them to include you in their conversation, just give it time and let them come to you.
Have you ever tried to get a dog or cat or other animal to accept you? I have learned to let them approach me, sniff my hand (hopefully no other parts, LOL), figure out that I come in peace, and am not a threat to them.
You might want to take in some donuts or bagels at some point, maybe just for your shift, otherwise it gets costly. But just to celebrate completing your orientation or "just because". You could share a picture of your pet or child with a couple of the staff if you have some down time. Or share some little tidbit, nothing too personal. Or just leave it alone and let some time go by, give them a chance to get to know you are a team player, you are not trying to take anything away from them, and let them see that you give great patient care.
Just curious - why did you switch jobs?
But yes, it all sounds normal.