While reading some threads today, I noted some negativity here and there. In one particular thread, the etiological common denominator seemed to have to do with something in the area of respect. One member believed another was putting down their perspective and the other felt that they were calling them out on their phraseology.
In 1956, Elvis sang "and the whole world will know this is true: understanding solves all problems", referring to a relationship. If we endeavor to find the rationale for why another behaves as they do, we can expand our horizons and give empathy and/or comfort.
Anyway, I wanted to start this thread and see where it will go. Starting this thread also gave me a reason to play around with a logo:
I was thinking of reviewing some customary codes of polite behavior.
thank you for posting this Davie. I know you were part of a thread I was involved in just recently where there was a bit of a conflict. I have been pondering this post over the past couple days to be honest. I have noticed there was a real issue on AN with those with more years of experience tending to negate the experience of others. As I said in that post, I rarely post on this site due to that issue. I think everyone has thoughts and opinions that are meant to be helpful to the OP. And I think all of us would do well to think through our replies before sending them -always. And of course you have those days where it’s just been a crap day. And you’re already on edge. And you read something that’s sets you off. I think JKL33 made a great point, many times things aren’t meant the way they seem when we are in the heat of our emotions. Bottom line is I think we can all bring something to the table and we should all be respected for what that is.
First, thank you for bringing up this post. You just found the million dollar question of communication in an era and place where people from different places, backgrounds and experiences all meet up to express their opinions and findings.
To get a "as-close-as-possible" answer, we have to ask ourselves the following:
1. What's the tone of this text?
2. What is the context behind the text or the question that made said text appear on the screen?
3. Are there areas where misinterpretation might occur?
4. "What counts as offensive/brash/blunt?" It is something we personally don't agree with or is it something our friends, family, culture, society, etc. don't agree with and we went along with it? The answer: depends on who you ask. As a part 2 of this question, we can also as the opposite.
5. "WHY do I think this is offensive/brash/blunt?" This varies based on a person's attitude, personality, how they were raised, how society taught them, etc. You can also ask the opposite here: Why is this text NOT offensive/brash/rude/etc?
6. How much does the information a person receive affect their attitudes, beliefs, etc? Depends on who you ask. Some are content knowing about the stuff going on with their neighbors while others care about everything. Age also plays a factor into this. Ex. kids are curious, teens are testing the extent of their influence while trying to find their niche, young adults still trying to find their niche along with their self realization, etc. The TL;Dr: Influence of information = age + curiosity + topic discussed + stuff people value + society's influence via media, education, politics, etc. + where are you at? (This list could really go on forever depending on how specific you want to go)
7. How do I react to this text? Do I go with my first instinct or read it again and think it through? Let's be honest though, not everyone has time to do the latter, whether we actually have it or not. One thing I've learned when I first started going to social media is that you don't need to answer right away. Although tempting and a first instinct deal, if you want a better outcome, walk away for a bit. If you need time to think stuff through, do it. If you don't wanna deal with the person anymore, leave them alone. No need to waste time out of spite.
8. Am I okay with someone having a different opinion, whether it be a smidge different or extremely different? Part 2: can I accept the fact that people don't always live in the same hemisphere/country/state/city/ etc. with the same ideals and don't place certain things with a high value or consideration?
I'm sure there's many more questions to ask, but these are the ones that come to my mind right off the bat.
However, in spite of the chaotic variables that barely sit for more than a few minutes and can make some users here more than just uncomfortable, social media has created some solutions: emojis and GIFs.
Emojis and GIFs can come in handy and shine in this department quite well. In many social media outlets like Instagram and facebook, they are used frequently to add some fun and decrease ambiguity. I use emojis where I think sentences look iffy without extra context. Hopefully, there will be more ways to come. Until then, this is the real question to ask:
Should I feel a subjectively negative emotion initiated by a text I read to the point of being too afraid/too angry to be in a place I like because someone sent said text, whether it be factually true or otherwise?
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
16 hours ago, Iheartwoundcare said:
I have noticed there was a real issue on AN with those with more years of experience tending to negate the experience of others.
"So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie..." -Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski
And I have noticed, Iwoundheartcare, that some members with less years of experience boldly pontificate points in a thread without utilizing poite societal entry techniques. It's like cutting in line, and we all know how that feels.
This is bound to raise the hairs on the necks of those with more years of experience, so seasoned members tend to cuff the transgressors.
In any discussion, verbal feedback, a retelling of the matters at hand, needs to be given in order to assure a consensual understandinding. This also says to the OP, "I value your words enough that I will take the time and energy to recall them in my own words".
Due respect needs to be shown to the OP in the same way as if we were entering their home. Those of us who know each other relatively well may take certain liberties which could be interpreted as rude if shown by a newbie.
On 1/8/2021 at 8:51 AM, Davey Do said:
Be quiet and eat your popcorn, kid.
NurseBlaq interpreted my sharp direction as an endearing reference. That endearing reference is a stroke, and we exchanged strokes when she gave me a positive reaction. However, had a newbie told her to be quiet, she may have well taken it as an affront.
"Got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues." -Ringo
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
8 hours ago, Phoenix94 said:
Emojis and GIFs can come in handy and shine in this department quite well. In many social media outlets like Instagram and facebook, they are used frequently to add some fun and decrease ambiguity. I use emojis where I think sentences look iffy without extra context.
With all due respect, Phoenix...
"Only 15% think emojis improve workplace communication. 29% say it makes colleagues look unprofessional; the number jumps to 36% when upper management uses them. A combined 22% say it makes colleagues come across as either annoying, less genuine or less competent."
Emojis are like drivers who use bumper stickers and express themselves with their behind.
Oh, they're cute when used in moderation, but it's like an artists/friend said, "They're for people without talent or the ability to truly express themselves".
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
20 minutes ago, Davey Do said:
Emojis are like drivers who use bumper stickers and express themselves with their behind.
Oh, they're cute when used in moderation, but it's like an artists/friend said, "They're for people without talent or the ability to truly express themselves".
Daisy4RN
2,238 Posts
Translation: how good is it
oui monsieur, merci. c'est amusant mais je pense que quelque chose se perd dans la traduction