All you can do is shake your head

[imbatz, BSN, RN]

In nursing school full-time, and I work as a PCT at an area hospital. Last night was a night were you just gotta shake your head.

My home unit is unique mix. Not really a tele unit, not really an ICU, almost all completes on vents, and a few random patients that would be better served not on this unit since they get stuck in doubles.

So, last night, we got an admit, one of those "would be better served not on this unit" patients. Total walkie talkie in a double for observation. During her intake, she informed me that she needed her pain meds for the pain in her toe (she was here for palpitations) and that she needed a laxative. I asked when her last bowel movement was since she wanted a laxative and she informed me that she had a bowel movement just a few hours earlier, while in the ED. I asked why she felt she needed a laxative since she had just had a bowel movement and she told me that "they" told her that she was supposed to take a laxative after each meal. I politely asked who were "they" that told her that. She responded, "Oprah told me to."

Oprah told her to take a laxative after every meal.

"I'll let the nurse know you would like something for the pain in your toe, and a laxative" and I walked away.

Sometimes I wonder how I am going to be able to do this job, being a nurse. Not the medical/care part, but that part - the "OH MY GOD, YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME" part. How? How do you keep a straight face?

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

How do you do it as a PCT

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

Isn't it grand that between Oprah, Dr Oz, Dr Phil and Web MD our patients know way more than we do?

[psu_213, BSN, RN]

Patients who take healthcare advice from TV to heart just…well…let's just say annoy me. Like the individual who told me "I have had headaches for about 3 months. Dr. Oz said that headache is never normal…so that is why I had to come to the ER today."

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

Might she be delusional or hallucinating that "they" or Oprah are telling her things? I don't know what her mental status is, but I've heard confused people say more off the wall things...and it's a sign of something needed, even if not a laxative...

[RunBabyRN]

These are the patients that make me want this bumper sticker:

I have spent a significant amount of time explaining to my mother-in-law why Dr. Oz was wrong about things. Of course you're going to say some miracle pill works when someone is PAYING you to say so, and you're a total sell-out.

[imbatz, BSN, RN]

How do you do it as a PCT

Oh, I am constantly silencing the snarky comments in my head, but I get to walk away for now. The RN doing the database.... my hero.

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

Trust me, the snark is still there in my head. Keeps me smiling when I wanna scream.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Might she be delusional or hallucinating that "they" or Oprah are telling her things? I don't know what her mental status is, but I've heard confused people say more off the wall things...and it's a sign of something needed, even if not a laxative...

That's a good point.

As for the others who vicariously live through the TV; I welcome those teachable moments; they keep us in business.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

You need a pretty good poker face to be a nurse. I had a patient's mother (kid has cardiac disease) ask me recently if they could buy a Christmas tree. She was concerned that if they got a real one it would "take oxygen away from him." Seriously, people think these things. You just need to present them with facts.