After a few years of nursing, you don't care anymore?

[jenthehen828]

i wondered if this is true. my name is jen, i'm new here. i'm not a nurse but am thinking about becoming one. i'm currently an huc/secretary in the nicu and have had some interests in pursuing nursing. i have a friend who is a cna and while i was walking and talking with her yesterday she told me not to become a nurse because after a few years you just don't care anymore. don't care about your patients and things will start to lose feeling. now, i'm not going to go make any decisions based on what she just told me, but i did wonder if there was any truth to that. after so long, does everything just blend together? thanks in advance.

[leslie :-D]

It's a load of poo.

well, nanc.....

i can't really say it's a load of poo.

afterall, (too) many do leave the profession after short time:

and, we do have hundreds of thousands of unemployed nurses.

there are definite challenges to overcome in our profession, and it is certainly not for the meek of heart.

you know when it hits me?

working inpt hospice, i get to know my pts on an intimate basis.

many of these folks have acting out behaviors that try my patience 24/7.

yet, as soon as any one of them takes a turn for the worst, my heart drops to my feet.

it's almost like your kids driving you nuts, but as soon as you see one of them sprawled out on the couch and lifeless, you plead to God to have your old, obnoxious child back.

i have found that nurses who enter the profession, to earnestly reach out, are the ones who manage to stay in it for the long run.

of course there are times you want to throw the towel in and give yourself a dopeslap.

but somehow, we manage to hang on...

yr after yr after yr.

and proudly display our battle scars.

leslie

[Keepstanding, ASN, RN]

nursing is what you make it.

if you choose to have a crappy day, then you probably will. if you choose to love it, then you probably will. keep your focus on what is important and go for it !!

[Natkat, BSN, MSN, RN]

I think the secret is not trying to get your needs to be a caretaker met through nursing. If you go into nursing hoping to feel better about yourself through what you do for others, you will get your heartbroken and be very disappointed. People are surprisingly ungrateful and demanding. Sometimes it seems like the more you do, the nicer you are, the meaner they get.

You really have to want others to get well for themselves. Don't go into nursing hoping to feel rewarded or to receive a pat on the back. It's incredibly sad when you run circles around someone trying to make them feel better, only to have them treat you like dirt and insult you to your face. I had a patient tell me I was kinda fat and not very good looking. I asked him "is my weight affecting your dialysis somehow? If it is let me know what changes I can make to your treatment". In other words - fat or not, you're stuck with me today.

Over time you learn to let those things roll off your back and focus on their care, how they are responding to treatment, watching those lab results improve, noticing that they are gradually eating more every day. For me, I shift to an intellectual, scientific focus and that's what keeps me going. An observable change in condition is more rewarding to me than what the patient says. If they are nice to me and show some gratitude it's a bonus, but I don't expect it.

[RNperdiem, RN]

I still care.

Over the years I have changed in some ways.

I am more comfortable asserting authority even if the patient might like me less_"yes Mr. Jones, you do need to get out of bed and use your incentive spirometer." I might not seem like "nice nurse" to them then, but I do care.

I have learned to be cautious of excess praise and flattery form patients. And I have learned that if a patient is grouchy it is usually nothing personal.

[missjennmb]

Don't go into nursing hoping to feel rewarded ...... An observable change in condition is more rewarding to me than what the patient says. If they are nice to me and show some gratitude it's a bonus, but I don't expect it.

Is this true? I mean I don't expect people to be 'nice' to me, because if they're in the hospital, they're probably pretty sick, and that would make anyone lash out. When I was in the hospital for surgery, I was terrified about the surgery and accompanying proceedures, angry about the lack of control I felt from all the things that were being "done" to me and all of the things I could do for myself that I wasn't allowed (getting food, using the restroom, etc), and looking back, I just took it out on those nearest to me... the nurses. It wasnt their fault and they were kind, but the whole situation was one that was horrific for me. When it was all over and I had both my autonomy and courage back, I apologized for my very bad behavior, and the nurse told me that she sees that a lot and they never take it personally.

Going into nursing, my hope is that I can pull from that experience and somehow make things easier for these patients who must be scared, angry, overwhelmed, and maybe even a little bit lost, like I was. If I can do that, then I will feel rewarded... even if they don't say it in so many words. But although not expected, I think that it would really mean a lot to me, if just 1 out of 10 patients said "you made this a little less unbearable, thank you". Is that not going to happen? Not that I work for thank yous or anything, but I really hope that I don't get to a point where a kind word from a patient does not touch my heart. I dealt with some very disconnected medical people in the last 20 years, and it was very horrible to me... going through what I was and having them be very uninterested in what I felt or said or wanted.

*I understand that sometimes you cant be the "good guy" in the interest of patient health, but those situations withstanding

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

well, nanc.....

i can't really say it's a load of poo.

afterall, (too) many do leave the profession after short time:

and, we do have hundreds of thousands of unemployed nurses.

there are definite challenges to overcome in our profession, and it is certainly not for the meek of heart.

Certainly. But I'd be willing to assert that the main reasons for that do not include not caring about the patients.

[Natkat, BSN, MSN, RN]

Is this true? I mean I don't expect people to be 'nice' to me, because if they're in the hospital, they're probably pretty sick, and that would make anyone lash out. ......snippped...... I dealt with some very disconnected medical people in the last 20 years, and it was very horrible to me... going through what I was and having them be very uninterested in what I felt or said or wanted.

*I understand that sometimes you cant be the "good guy" in the interest of patient health, but those situations withstanding

It may not be true for everyone, but it's true for me. The patients I deal with are very difficult and it's not their fault. Dialysis patients hate their lives and I can't say I blame them. Some of them deal with it by becoming very controlling over very small details. I dealt with a patient that had to have exactly twelve pieces of tape - no more; no less - or she would have a meltdown. Others get stuck in the anger phase of the grieving process and lash out constantly. I really have to not let it bother me or I'd be a mess. I deal with it by focusing on seeing their labs improve and noticing how much better they look after their treatment. That tells me I'm not just going through the motions. I actually did something productive.

I do care. I just don't have a need to feel to be shown appreciation or gratitude. I can still do my job and hope for the best possible outcome in spite of how the patient behaves. Other nurses aren't so lucky. They deal with this kind of behavior and worse without the reward of seeing some kind of improvement in the patient that tells them that their efforts mattered. I guess the point is you have to take from it what you can because people can be demanding and difficult.

It's also maddening to spend so much time, money and effort going to nursing school to turn around and be treated like a maid.

[chenoaspirit, ASN, RN]

Well, I can honestly say that death doesnt affect me like it did before nursing. I dont mean to sound cruel, but its part of the job. I used to cry, cry hard, when one of my patients died. Now I am used to it. You do become somewhat cold, but not uncaring. I still care about my patients, but some truely get on my nerves to the point I wish they would leave. Nursing in general has changed me.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

I became a nurse 27 years ago and I still have a passion for it. My secret weapon has been to keep on learning and growing. This does not mean I do not get tired or frustrated at times b/c I do. It still bothers me when patients curse,or are unreasonable,or take their anger out on you,or spit at you,or do a variety of things I have come to despise. You take the bad with all the good.