After all "that", I advised my wife to turn down MICU/ACC position today.

[Roland]

Here's why:

1. First and foremost she was told that she would get up to three clients straight off orientation. This is an ACC/MICU dealing mostly in trauma patients at a busy level one trauma center in a major metropolitan area.

2. Training/orientation would consist of the following:

a. First six weeks would be two days a week in the classroom with an additional two twelve hour shifts working on the floor with a preceptor.

b. The next six weeks would have no classroom and would involve three twelves along with a preceptor.

c. The final six weeks would have no preceptor, but she would have a so called "mentor" with whom she could consult. At this point she could be assigned up to three clients. Although, they say she would never have more than one "critical" client with the other two being so called "progressive" (not sure what the criteria is for progressive since they are still to sick for the PCU or the floor). ACLS and PALS would not be offered during this stage of her training unless she did these classes above and beyond the above mentioned shifts.

d. Out of approximately 110 nurses about 15 are travel/agency, 10 are new nurses, and two SNES.

e. It would be night shift, and she wouldn't be with the same nurses most of the time.

f. There is a new manager.

On the up side the exiting manager did say that they've had many successful CRNA applicants out of this ICU. My analysis is that this may simply be "too acute" an environment for her at this point in her career.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Roland, I don't read in your post that you're telling your wife what to do and she's blindly following your orders. Or that you even expect her to follow your advice. But that you're giving your honest opinion and advice, not giving orders.

Obviously you're wife looks to you for input and advice. That's what spouses do, especially if they both are in nursing. Presumably she makes her own decisions. Sounds like you're giving what you feel is the best advice based on good reasons. And you're looking to others for advice, since you are still a student, to make sure you're offering the best advice.

My spouse is in the business also and I bounce profressional/life decisions off of him all the time. Especially if I'm undecided about something. I value his advice. No one knows my strengths and weaknesses better than him.

He's done the same for me. He asked my opinion on a job once and I adviced him not to take it. It was in adolesence ETOH rehab and I knew he didn't have the personality style for it. He made his own decision to take it in the end. He wound up quitting three months later hating it with a passion, as I knew he would.

3:1 is a good ratio for a step-down unit, but not an critical care setting.

12 weeks one-on-one orientation is good, but not if one has to bounce around preceptors.

Good luck to your wife.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

Six monthes!!!!! Try 12 or more.

Marie, you have been in the "ADN vs BSN" and "Should pot be legal?" threads too much.

I was being generous.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

It would disturb me if my spouse was THIS involved in my career and the decisions associated with it.

Marie, if you were undecided about a career move and your spouse was in the same field, would you not look to him for advice and make your own decisions? I think that's all we're seeing here.

I could be wrong though.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

No, i wouldn't look to him for advice where my career is concerned.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

No, i wouldn't look to him for advice where my career is concerned.

O.K. But understand that a lot of spouses turn to each other during times of indecision careerwise and otherwise, so I wouldn't be concerned about Roland. I'd like to think when he hits the nursing workforce he'll ask his wife her advice, as she'll be in the business ahead of him and will have experience.

My spouse recently asked me how I felt about a promotion he wanted that involved traveling. I would never dream of telling him what to do, but I appreciate his coming to me prior to his accepting the position, because his traveling has an effect on our relationship and we need to discuss that.

[suzanne4, RN]

Where most of us are coming from right now, he has been pushing and pushing for his wife to get an ICU position to help her prepare for a CRNA program. There have been multiple posts about her not getting an offer, then she finally gets one, at a place that would give her the experience that she needs, and he advises her not to take it. Funny thing is that she is already out of school and working. We always hear of the decisions that he has made for her, never that they discussed it and this is what they came up.

In your relationship, you discuss things..............we only here from him of what he advises his wife to do. And we never hear from her.

[RoxanRN]

No, i wouldn't look to him for advice where my career is concerned.

My DH and I very much look to each other when a career decision needs to be made. Why? Because it affects both of us. Over the last two years, my DH has made two career moves within his industry (media - radio and TV). When we talked about the first move (moving from a very successful multi-award winning news reporting position [his bragging wall is loaded!!] at a national award winning radio station to a behind-the-scenes position at the sister national award winning TV station), we discussed it for a week. I threw out many 'what-if' scenerios. I voiced my fears about the move (there were many). But I also knew it would be a very wise, career-savy move.

A year later, the second move was just as intensely discussed. It put him back behind the radio mic, but now as the News Director of a tri-state news reporting radio station.

And even now, he is in the planning stages (and not far from reality) of putting together a custom news radio station. You can guarantee my voice and opinion is all over this venture.

These are but only a few of the career decisions we've made over the years. What do all these changes have in common?? They affected our collective life. We are not only thinking about ourselves, but also about our children and that we make sure we can always provide for them.

I'm sure Roland knows his wife a hell of alot better than any of us do. He is the one most qualified to render an opinion about something which is going to affect them for several years. I'm sure there are detail we don't know about the situation (professional and personal).

Roland.... I hope whatever you and DW decide together works out the way both of you want. Many happy wishes!!

[Roland]

I appreciate the input. My wife gets on here from time to time, but generally doesn't post its just not in her nature. As to the ICU scenario that I referenced above I simply have some issues (in fact I would say that if anything she has more concerns about her ability to thrive in the scenario I described than do I). As to my "advising" her, I have "advice" for everyone and everything. I've got a ten point plan on just about everything from how the President should reform healthcare to how we could reduce global terrorism. The difference of course is that my wife is a captive audience and occassionally pretends to listen to my ramblings and diatribes.

Where most of us are coming from right now, he has been pushing and pushing for his wife to get an ICU position to help her prepare for a CRNA program. There have been multiple posts about her not getting an offer, then she finally gets one, at a place that would give her the experience that she needs, and he advises her not to take it. Funny thing is that she is already out of school and working. We always hear of the decisions that he has made for her, never that they discussed it and this is what they came up.

In your relationship, you discuss things..............we only here from him of what he advises his wife to do. And we never hear from her.

[letina]

I've got a ten point plan on just about everything from how the President should reform healthcare to how we could reduce global terrorism. The difference of course is that my wife is a captive audience and occassionally pretends to listen to my ramblings and diatribes.

Hey Roland, you sound just like my DH, you wouldn't happen to be a golfer as well would you? :zzzzz :chuckle

[sunnyjohn]

As to my "advising" her, I have "advice" for everyone and everything. I've got a ten point plan on just about everything from how the President should reform healthcare to how we could reduce global terrorism. The difference of course is that my wife is a captive audience and occassionally pretends to listen to my ramblings and diatribes.

:rotfl: You've a wonderful missus!

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

I'm sure Roland knows his wife a hell of alot better than any of us do. He is the one most qualified to render an opinion about something which is going to affect them for several years. I'm sure there are detail we don't know about the situation (professional and personal).

Unfortunately, Roland has discussed his wife and his plan for their life together in detail on this BB. And much of it centers on his plan to become CRNAs together and moving to Hawaii, since they have left another well paying career venture behind, and how to do this in the quickest way possible.

I write "his plans" because he brings these issues here but she never comes here to discuss them. She, in fact (per him), does not like him spending time on the BB or the Internet in general, especially discussing their life together, based on past issues and experiences with the Internet.

And, excuse the temerity of this spinster here to voice an opinion, but when one spouse continually chooses to do something the other one dislikes so, it shows a blatant disregard of the spouses feelings (not to mention manipulative behavior) and wishes. Much like a teen that is told repeatedly not to use the car, who goes and does it anyway, runs around town and then tells Mom, "Well, I did the shopping....I took the car to help you". Some of us assume (perhaps erroneously) that if one continues to disregard a spouse in such a small matter as Internet use, they may not paying attention that much to that spouse's deeper feelings and opinions.

Yes, Roland does know his wife better than us...at least I hope he does. He needs to tell her his opinion, without our input. If she needs our input, she needs to come here and ask for herself...otherwise all we get is "hearsay" and we cannot form a valid opinion on the basis of hearsay.

Do spouses need to consult one another about career plans...most certainly they do. But do they have the right to completely run the other one's career? That is debatable and what some of the posters here are objecting to the appearance of.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

O.K. But understand that a lot of spouses turn to each other during times of indecision careerwise and otherwise, so I wouldn't be concerned about Roland. I'd like to think when he hits the nursing workforce he'll ask his wife her advice, as she'll be in the business ahead of him and will have experience.

My spouse recently asked me how I felt about a promotion he wanted that involved traveling. I would never dream of telling him what to do, but I appreciate his coming to me prior to his accepting the position, because his traveling has an effect on our relationship and we need to discuss that.

I'm not concerned about him (the OP that is).