Actual Sentences Found In Patients Hospital Charts

[Nursemelo]

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3.. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused autopsy.

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

15. She is numb from her toes down.

16. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

20. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

24. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

27. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

28. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

29. Patient was seen in consultation by DR. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

30. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

:roll :roll

[nrw350]

Yall have got me wondering what the heck is in my charts lol.

Nick

[zudy]

This came from one of our er charts. the husband and wifr came into er after a fight. The husband had attempted to stab his wife with a knife, the wife put her hand up to defend herself. The husband stabbed her in the hand, severing a tendon. The wife then threw an iron at her husband, hitting him in the head which gave him a bleed/ closed head injury. Our ER dr charted all of this, then wrote, " I asked the wife if she would like to take a stab at ironing things out, but she was still too steamed.":roll

[andrewsgranny, ASN, RN]

OMG I Love these!

Sorry,...I cant come up with any better than these!:roll :roll :roll

Way too funny!

[gwenith, BSN, RN]

MAybe a Local thing but we refer to heat moisture exchange units (HME"S - you know the little adpators that go on tracheostomy tubes to moisten the air ) as "SWEDISH NOSES". Fell out of cahir onw day when saw written in a chart - patient breathing well through Parson's nose!

[MQ Edna]

My favorite came from a "new" RN. Actual admitting note" Took strecher to ER to pick up pt. Brought pt to 207 window. No c/o":confused:

[rebelwaclause, ASN, RN]

ROTHFL, ROTHFL, #27..."Skin present"...ROTHFL!

[Teshiee]

I am in tears. oooh man! this thread is far the best. I can't stop laughing, hahahahahahahah

[rachel h, BSN, RN]

Rather obnoxious patient, kept threatening to leave AMA... we all had our fingers crossed that he would. The doc wrote in his chart" Pt advised that he is living against medical advice." He He... Freudian slip, anyone?

[DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE, MSN, RN]

found on a patients chart while I was circulating a case

in the H&P

Mrs. Jane Doe pleasant to speak with and denies pain at this time , husband out of town.

I busted out laughing in the OR , and questioned Dr of need to perform anal fistula repair lol

He had to stop for a few minutes to laugh himself

zoe

[rnkim]

These are toooo funny,thaks, i needed a good laugh

[StrawberryBSN, BSN, RN]

at my facility nurses are notorious for putting "d/i", that is "dry and intact" under the "color/temp" section. so that would read color = dry, temp = intact?. ha!

s_bsn