Accidentally told my coworker what I make, BIG ISSUES NOW

[newrn93]

Hi all! So I am relatively a new graduate (3 months prior experience) before landing a job at a SNF. I have only been there for a week and although I was told during the interview that I would be working nights, my manager wanted me on the 3-11 shift to learn admissions for a month. I've been working with this RN for about 2 days now and shes really nice. We talk about out personal lives and etc. (For example she had a daughter by someone who is the same ethnic background as me..etc). So I'm explain my experience from my last job at a large teaching hospital and simply mention that I am taking a pay cut but its worth it because I want the experience. She then asks "Oh what are they starting you at." I stupidly tell her my wage (37) and didn't think anything of it. I explain that I usually leave the part on the application where it says to put your desired wage blank but this time around I put a high wage (I was getting paid 5 dollars more at my last job than this one.) She then says oh wow your very lucky and that they didnt start her at that wage and she put 38 on her application but management told her that they couldn't afford to pay her that. Anyways she says I'm lucky and we leave it at that.

My next day, I notice that she is acting a bit different but didn't think anything of it...it is a stressful job however. I do notice however that we dont seem to see eachother at all and that she didn't teach the the computer system (the most important part) but is teaching the other new hire the computer system. When I sit down to observe so I can learn the phone rings. She quickly looks at me and says "Can you answer the phone in a dismissive tone." Again, didn't think anything of it.

When night shift comes on, one of the night nurses says its her last day. No body knows why it seems very VERY abrupt because nobody talked about it before. I see her and this other nurse(my preceptor I suppose) kind of talking privately. This nurse that resigned was a nice girl and I ask "Oh where are you going?" All she says is "Somewhere." which again I thought was a bit odd.

The next day my manager comes up to me and asks me to meet him in his office. By his tone I can tell something was wrong but have no idea. He asks me if I told anyone my wage and I said yes to my preceptor. He then informs me that 1 nurse (the night nurse) quit because of it and that 2 more are considering quitting. I explain that it was naive and I didn't know i confided in her. He tells me she is not your friend, she went and told everyone and that she is already treating you differently. He then says next shift you will be on nights, I need to get you away from them. EVERYTHING now makes sense to me.

Sorry for the long post but what should I do or is there anything that I can do to rectify this situation. Should I confront/talk to this nurse who went and talked about me to everyone? I do not know how much the other nurses are making and had NO IDEA I was even making more than them. IDK if its because I have my BSN or bc they knew I wouldn't have accepted a job or a wage any lower when I was making $5 more at my last job. I feel HORRIBLY about this especially because our SNF is already so short-staffed.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

OP, you sound very naive.

First if all, his place does sound like it might have some crocodiles inhabiting its waters. It sounds like you're working with some established, probably older, LPNs.

Basically, they know the business way better than a wet behind the ears new RN. A certain percentage of this category of nurse can be very resentful when a young, new, naive nurse comes on the scene, making more right out the gate. They never bothered getting their RN and don't like whippersnappers who want days off.

You didn't know enough to keep quiet, now they are acting nasty. Remember, they aren't your mother. Some of them probably have frustrating lives on a lot of levels.

I went to LTC right out of school. There were some crusty ones. I deferred to those ladies, I suggest you do the same. They know more than you.

Somehow I get the feeling that the schedule change was necessitated by the hard feelings over the newbie's salary reveal, and that arguing with the manager after he changed the schedule for her didn't create any positive feelings on his part. The OP is still on probation. She has now given him a legitimate reason (insubordination) to fire her. This newbie has a lot to learn.

[newrn93]

Firstly, I understand where you are coming from but I did NOT interrupt report, she did. She did not ONLY ask me a simple question, she began discussing the matter as the other new RN chimed in. She said "Maybe he want's all 3 of you to be on shift and YOU should call the manager." She was discussing it with the other new RN, it's only when I opened my mouth to speak that she remembered about report. I am aware of the importance of report and quickly agreed even though she rudely demanded we continue when she originally got off track.

Secondly, I did not have this trip "planned", its not a trip that I would have told them at hire bc it's only somewhere 2 hours away, I just made this plans a few days ago as my old college buddy asked what days I had off this week. I had Wednesday and thursday off so I planned according. And as i said before, he gave an off day to a BRAND new RN who has been at this facility for even less time than me for the same day (and this is for a future date.) There is no harm in asking for something, if it is not granted that is fine. The schedule was already changed bc he wanted me on nights due to this one RN's resentment. We already had that discussion and I've already been on nights for 2 weeks because of this schedule change, so no that is not the reason. My schedule was changed the same morning I was suppose to work and there was inconsistencies in it which caused some confusion for me (ie saying that I worked a certain day that I didn't, so the new schedule incorrectly made yesterday my 4th day.)

The schedule change created by "negative feelings" was already changed. Thirdly this RN is not the charge RN, there are 2 day RN's and 2 night RN's and frankly it would have been more appropriate for the experienced night RN to call if you feel like I shouldn't have. At the end of the day she is not my mom, we are all coworkers and new or not we are all at the same level with the same responsibilities.

Anyways for the last time I am NOT concerned about getting fired. I came in today and had a LONG conversation with my manager and I can honestly say I have much more respect for him and that now and that we are completely on the same page. He explained himself as did I and I reiterated that communication is a 2 way street. Instead of calling in on that certain day I wanted him to know that I would not be able to make it. I also explained that it's only fair to tell me about changes beforehand not the day of (as it seems that this schedule was made in advance.) He said he understood where I was coming from and in the future when I got my schedule I should have just told him that I had plans. At least thtat was resolved.

We also talked about this RN who is giving me a lot of resentment and all I can say is that my manager KNOWS. He said I must kill them with kindness and that she is trying to get a rise out of you and that you cannot show it. He said that many lvns/cnas have told him how I am so nice to work with and that I help them, but if only 1 person is complaining about me when everyone else is saying the opposite that he knows its not true. He gave me several examples of when he actually had to fire the nurse that was complaining about others because in reality they weren't doing what they were suppose to do. He explained that he received similiar resentment when he became DON becuase people who were there longer and wanted the spot resented him. He said he NEVER let them get mad and never stooped to their level because that is what they want. He also says he knows everything that goes on in the facility and verifies everything for himself and doesn't just go by what others said.

Like I said, I have a new respect for my manager, and he told me to enjoy my mini vacay. He explained that he hired me for a reason and that those that complain or try to undermine will never last. Again, I am NOT and was never concerned about me being fired, and honestly I know I was the one never at risk (I know in my heart that I did not do anything wrong, even if it seems that way over text.) I am just SO thankful that my manager is aware of the truth.

First, you don't interrupt report to complain about the schedule, discuss staffing issues (unless you're charge and it's up to you to resolve those staffing issues) or gossip. Whoever told you they needed to finish report was absolutely right. It's unfair to both shifts to stop report -- day shift risks losing their train of thought and forgetting something important AND they get off late. Night shift may miss some crucial bit of information and gets a late start on their work. The nurse who you say was rude to you may have expected a quick answer from you when she asked the question and not a whole discussion. Maybe she was being nice to you in asking it and then had to make a pointed comment to get you to stop talking to her so she could finish report.

The nurse who is most senior or who is in charge of the unit has every right and responsibility to call the manager to resolve staffing issues that are in question. It was up to the charge nurse to resolve the staffing issues in the best possible way and if that required consultation with the manager, then that's what you do. If the new nurse has questions AFTER the charge nurse has discussed the situation with the manager and then wishes to hear the manager's decision from the manager, then the new nurse talks to the manager at that point. The new nurse does not interrupt the charge nurse's discussion with the manager unless invited to participate. I suspect that both that nurse AND the manager thought you were being rude to them.

A brand new nurse does not request days off until after orientation unless it is something that has been negotiated before the hire day or it's something that just came up. You want off for your sister's wedding, you negotiate in advance of accepting the position. You want to go visit your family for two days, you wait until after orientation. UNLESS your brother just got injured on his deployment and is being sent home to recover or your grandmother just died or something equally sudden and dire.

You don't get into arguments with your manager and expect to keep your job. Honestly, how could you not know this? He insisted that you go by the schedule he just printed because he wanted you to go by it. Possibly your creation of a hostile work environment required some switching around to accommodate harsh feelings toward you, and he had to suddenly change the schedule to keep you from working with the colleagues you have alienated. Possibly switching you to nights required some rebalancing of the schedule and he now needed you to work the new schedule, which is why he kept insisting that you go by it. Frankly, your plans weren't important to that decision, and you were foolish to dig your heels in because you had already paid for a hotel. Cancel the reservation and get your money back or change it to a different time. I'm surprised you weren't fired on the spot for your back talk to the manager or refusing to come in on a day you were scheduled.

I"m not surprised your coworkers were talking about the scene you made. It would require superhuman strength NOT to talk about a new grad who makes more money than everyone else, spreads that around, and then makes an enormous scene about a schedule change that was in all likelihood necessitated by the negative feelings among established staff who make less than you do and still follow the schedule they're given.

You don't get it. You clearly don't have any idea how to function at a real job. Hopefully, you'll take some of the good advice and follow it. Hopefully, you'll be able to discern the difference between the good advice you've been given and the bad advice. (In this case, I suspect that you'll hate the good advice because it isn't what you want to believe.).

[sanakruz, ADN]

Whoa! seriously, telling this new nurse not to discuss her salary?

Get ready for this, then.

Male Registered Nurses Make Thousands More in Salary Than Female Counterparts | UC San Francisco

Salary Differences Between Male and Female Registered Nurses in the United States | Mar 24, 2

[newrn93]

It's not necessarily the LVN's who are acting nasty, just this one RN. How she acted yesterday and how she looked at me it was VERY clear that she was purposely trying to get a rise out of me. crystal clear.

Idk what this has to do with knowing more than anybody. I never undermine anyone as I know that I am new. I never complained about not getting a certain day off. The only issue i had is that I came in yesterday and was told to go home bc I was supposedly not on the schedule. Like I explained yesterday was my 4th day on. I don't look at the schedule everyday, sometimes you just memorize it, as I had. Every coworker has a right to plan their life according to their off days. I don't think its unreasonable to be confused or upset when you come into work, but are then told its actually your off day because of an abrupt change that should have been communicated at the very least a day before if need be.

Just because I am new does not mean people shouldn't be reasonable.

OP, you sound very naive.

First if all, his place does sound like it might have some crocodiles inhabiting its waters. It sounds like you're working with some established, probably older, LPNs.

Basically, they know the business way better than a wet behind the ears new RN. A certain percentage of this category of nurse can be very resentful when a young, new, naive nurse comes on the scene, making more right out the gate. They never bothered getting their RN and don't like whippersnappers who want days off.

You didn't know enough to keep quiet, now they are acting nasty. Remember, they aren't your mother. Some of them probably have frustrating lives on a lot of levels.

I went to LTC right out of school. There were some crusty ones. I deferred to those ladies, I suggest you do the same. They know more than you.

[sanakruz, ADN]

...and I realize these articles are about men/women. The culture of salary discrepancy is the point

[newrn93]

There was already a schedule change due to the hard feelings, which was done for my benefit I suppose. This was a completely diffferent schedule change that occured the SAME day I came in to work (or at least I was notified the same day.) 2 other RN's and 1 lvn talked to me when I was leaving and said that what happened was NOT fair to me, but I digress.

Somehow I get the feeling that the schedule change was necessitated by the hard feelings over the newbie's salary reveal, and that arguing with the manager after he changed the schedule for her didn't create any positive feelings on his part. The OP is still on probation. She has now given him a legitimate reason (insubordination) to fire her. This newbie has a lot to learn.

[AlleycatLady, BSN]

Don't feel too bad. Just consider this your lesson...You can't share certain things with certain people at work especially when you are new. You gotta learn the players on the chess board first. The relationships that are in place are key.

[tara07733]

Reading this thread has been very interesting. All my life I've always heard "don't talk about your salary with coworkers." I never questioned it, as most people it seems have not. Never once did I consider that it is actually helpful to talk about it until I met my husband, who's in IT and it seems that people in that field (or at least the many, many people in his network) constantly discuss salary.

I've heard my husband and others tell new guys what to ask for, salary wise, when interviewing. And the people that he knows make a very good living. They network with each other like crazy and there doesn't seem to be this salary envy between colleagues perhaps because of the openness-- I don't know. I also wonder if gender comes into play here (as IT is very heavily dominated by men). Perhaps, as someone here has mentioned, this is the reason for gender-based pay disparities (as it's been said that men negotiate salary and also are more apt to ask for raises more than women,) . Again, I don't know but it's really very interesting to think about.

I totally understand why those who are saying not to discuss salary say this but I also fully believe that the this fosters a very individualistic, jealous culture within nursing as well as other professions

[Jules A, MSN]

Reading this thread has been very interesting. All my life I've always heard "don't talk about your salary with coworkers." I never questioned it, as most people it seems have not. Never once did I consider that it is actually helpful to talk about it until I met my husband, who's in IT and it seems that people in that field (or at least the many, many people in his network) constantly discuss salary.

I've heard my husband and others tell new guys what to ask for, salary wise, when interviewing. And the people that he knows make a very good living. They network with each other like crazy and there doesn't seem to be this salary envy between colleagues perhaps because of the openness-- I don't know. I also wonder if gender comes into play here (as IT is very heavily dominated by men). Perhaps, as someone here has mentioned, this is the reason for gender-based pay disparities (as it's been said that men negotiate salary and also are more apt to ask for raises more than women,) . Again, I don't know but it's really very interesting to think about.

I totally understand why those who are saying not to discuss salary say this but I also fully believe that the this fosters a very individualistic, jealous culture within nursing as well as other professions

Very well said. I also grew up with my parents indicating someone's income was their private business so it was eye opening and liberating when I started questioning the automatic adages I was raised believing.

Perhaps it would be worthwhile for us all to consider there are many things we were raised to accept that might need adjusting in today's world?

For the youngings: Life isn't fair and not everyone will think you are as wonderful as Mommy and Daddy

For us oldtimers: Don't have sex before marriage

Lol, just thought I'd add some sparks this am.

[NursePallasFNP2b]

Very well said. I also grew up with my parents indicating someone's income was their private business so it was eye opening and liberating when I started questioning the automatic adages I was raised believing.

Perhaps it would be worthwhile for us all to consider there are many things we were raised to accept that might need adjusting in today's world?

For the youngings: Life isn't fair and not everyone will think you are as wonderful as Mommy and Daddy

For us oldtimers: Don't have sex before marriage

Lol, just thought I'd add some sparks this am.

Nodding in agreement, especially to the bolded portion.

[ixchel]

This bears repeating! YOU DID NOTHING WRONG, legally or ethically speaking. Your manager is spinning it so that you are the one at fault for all this. If pay was fair and equitable at your facility, this would be a non-issue. Now, they're exposed and are scrambling. Again, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.

Transparency is never a bad thing. But it should come from management/leadership!

This, and OP is being "punished" by being put on night shift, rather than the rude gossipy nurses being dealt with or being "punished".

Frankly, night shift is where all the fun nurses hide (including me ) so you'd totally have a blast on night shift. But I do NOT like how it was put out there as a punishment for you.

The way I'd see it after seeing the manager be like that, is I'd sit back on the shift I was trained and hired on, and know that every nurse that leaves over the unfair wage gap is another open slot he'll have to fill at $37.50. He shouldn't coddle pettiness and he should pay his nurses better, apparently.

[newrn93]

Nightshift is pretty interesting, lol but there's more! When I originally interviewed it was for a nightshift position. I didn't know how I felt about it but rolled with it and figured I could do flu clinics in the am and work nightshift (trying to bust out these loans lol). Anyways I already gotten used to the idea of nightshift and already applied for flu clinics but come orientation time they said I was on the 3-11 shift. It was annoying bc I was told I would be on nights and again planned my life accordingly.

when I talked to my manager he said he could not put me on nights and the only open spot was 3-11.(he already hired someone else for nights) I told him about my sotuation and what I was told during the interview. We compromised. He said Id be on day shift for a month at least to learn admissions and such and first night shift spot he'd give to me.

So oddly enough I guess he thought this was a win-win situation. I guuess a nightshift position magically opened up but then again the nurse who abruply quit was on nightshift.

Again people on this forum seem to think all I do is complain. But all of these abrupt changes without me being notified! LOL

This, and OP is being "punished" by being put on night shift, rather than the rude gossipy nurses being dealt with or being "punished".

Frankly, night shift is where all the fun nurses hide (including me ) so you'd totally have a blast on night shift. But I do NOT like how it was put out there as a punishment for you.

The way I'd see it after seeing the manager be like that, is I'd sit back on the shift I was trained and hired on, and know that every nurse that leaves over the unfair wage gap is another open slot he'll have to fill at $37.50. He shouldn't coddle pettiness and he should pay his nurses better, apparently.