Academic Burnout

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Hey everyone, I hope you're having a better weekend than I am! haha Time for another novel~

I feel like I'm academically burned out, and I've not even officially started my nursing program yet - my acceptance should, with all luck, be coming within the next month.

My journey so far has been long and arduous, spanning the better part of a decade. I was originally planning to go into forensics back when I lived in England 10 years ago; I had about 3, almost 4 years of studies under my belt and no degree when I left the UK. (Long story short - stupidly believed the promises a guy made me, dropped everything to marry him, spent 6 years in immigration limbo) I lost everything - my house/car back in the UK, my classes didn't transfer, and to top it off, I had to get the GED because my high school education didn't count for anything here either.

I struggled with depression over the years thanks to my 'imprisonment' - being stuck in immigration limbo is no fun. Can't work, can't study, can't drive (they wouldn't even issue me a driver's permit..lol), and I couldn't go home because I had nowhere to go to. I spent the better part of those 6 years just 'existing' or finding random things to fill my time while I waited for my (ex) husband to decide whether or not he'd actually fill out my immigration paperwork. Videogames were a great escape, as was music, but it didn't matter because none of it was fulfilling. Eventually it felt like the happiness had been sucked out of everything with a crazy straw. Eventually I was able to leave and start a new life, but the damage had already been done and I had to start over from square one.

Fast forward to now; I have my GED, I have my CNA certification, and I've got a 4.0 with 48 credits under my belt, soon to be 56 at the end of this semester. I love studying, or really I should say... I loved it.

It really hit hard last summer; I was pouring all of my energy into school that I neglected my fiance. All of my energy went into the grades, I had to be a competitive candidate for the nursing program, and I couldn't let anyone down. I was consumed by doing my best. As a result, my fiance who also works in healthcare, started latching on to someone else for emotional comfort. He didn't cheat, though it wounded me, but it was also the shock I needed to pull my head out of my ass. Our relationship is incredibly strong today and we're in a much better spot than we were beforehand, though I still worry occasionally if I'm doing anything that might push him away. I try not to let this on though.

I was supposed to start the nursing program last fall, but I decided that it would probably be better to skip getting my ASN and go right for the BSN. Acceptance letter season came, and left me behind. My friends went to their program(s) and I had to take some extra prerequisites. "No big deal, I've got this!" I told myself over and over again as I mulled through a plethora of classes that I didn't find interesting. I'd already completed my sciences before so now I felt like I was just battling pile-upon-pile of busywork.

The end of the semester came and everything was on track for me to transfer out to my new college to start my nursing program, except... my current college didn't release the final grades until the week of Christmas. This put me under the credit requirement for a transfer student and just as the acceptance letters were coming out again, I was left on the sidelines as yet more of my friends went to their programs.

"But it's ok... I got this..."

I took another 2 classes, completed them, and transferred this summer to a new college. I haven't had a break from anything since last summer - even my Christmas break was stressful as I had family visiting from the UK. I had no summer break this year because my new classes started during finals week at my old college so I've had no time to actually deal with anything.

I feel like I'm wading through pudding in my current classes - usually I'll self-test to revise, but I'm pulling blanks. I feel like it's much harder to retain information, reading a chapter can take me 3+ hours because my eyes will just gloss over and scan the words. I'm loving my pathophysiology class, but my first major exam is this coming morning (28th) and I'm just not that confident despite hours and hours of studying.

I'm setting up an appointment this week to go and see the on campus counselor as I'm not sure if it's depression biting me on the ass, or academic burnout from just going ham for the last God-knows-how-long. Or maybe it's pressure, because failing at this point would sure suck haha. I know I'm capable of doing this which is the worst thing - I've come so far already and right before I'm due to start the nursing program I hit the wall and it's so frustrating. I can't even feel like I'm relaxing in my time off - I schedule an hour a day to do -nothing- and I can't even bring myself to go to the gym. I end up sitting with my eyes glazed over, daydreaming about nothing. Once again, it's like a straw has sucked all the happy out of everything.

Has anyone else hit the wall? How did you overcome it? Any tips would be appreciated!

Thank you for reading if you got this far - it actually felt pretty good writing it out. Sorry for the novel though haha :( I figured it'd be best to give the whole story lest I sound like a whiner that is scared of hard work :(

[Posted in General Student forum for visibility - if it's in the wrong spot, feel free to move it wherever Admins, thank you!]

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I'm sorry you're feeling like this. It sounds like you've been through the ringer!

I think seeing a counselor on campus is a great idea. Talking things out and getting tools to help you work through them should really help you.

I got a little burned out this past semester - my first in the nursing program. I tried to just focus on why I was here, and what my goals were. I also took a few days "off" and did absolutely nothing (over spring break). I've been at this school stuff for 3.5 years now - it can be really draining.

Hang in there and I'm always here if you need to chat!

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Thanks Jen, I really appreciate it!!

I am hoping that I can see the counselor this week so I can try to knock this on the head early before it starts affecting my grades.

Once my mini-session for medical sociology kicks out (4 more weeks and counting... haha) I'll be in more of a position to take a little more R&R time which will be nice!

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Specializes in Neuro.

I understand hitting the wall, school is go, go, go & it feels like you have to pour your focus into that. I think it is good you're going to take time to see a counselor.

Beyond that, my advice is try to start taking more time for you. Put a day aside to go to a movie with your fiance or go on a lunch date. Try to put at least one day aside a week and do something either for you or with your fiance. If doable, try to getaway for a couple days, even if it's a staycation. Don't get so busy working/studying that you forget to live. Live & enjoy life as much as you can.

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Thanks Milady!

A staycation doesn't sound bad actually... I might see if I can swing one at the end of this semester. It'd be really nice to go see the ocean for a few days!

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I also agree that seeing a counselor is a good idea. And if you don't think one is helpful, someone else may click, so if this one doesn't work out you can ask the school counselor for resources.

A few lines you wrote stood out to me...

"Lest anyone thinks I'm afraid of hard work"

"I couldn't let anyone down"

"Consumed with doing my best"

"Worry if I'm doing anything that might push him away"

Those are maladaptive thoughts/feelings which counselling can help! I am by far no counselor nor have I battled with depression, but I had a self-defeating way of thinking for a time in college. Every time I had one of those thoughts, I changed it around until I didn't have those thoughts anymore. Example: changing "I couldn't let anyone down" to "I will try my best and it's ok if I don't always succeed!" How we think really does effect how we feel and something as simple as this can be a good start for you!

There is a lot of busy work in nursing school, a lot of study seshes that will last a week nevermind a few hours, but with the right frame of mind, it doesn't have to lead to burn out, anxiety, or depression. Balance is important too. I always went for an hour walk nearly every day, and I exercised and worked through nursing school. Didn't always eat healthy, but that's ok. But it's important to force yourself to get up..when you are daydreaming "about nothing" force yourself to go outside and walk around the block. There's a lot of forcing ourselves in something that takes hard work but is worth it. I'd build my dreams up a lot to get through school. Like I'd look for motivating IG accounts and follow them...constantly seeing phrases such as "work hard, play hard" or "difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations" boosted me up. I surrounded myself with classmates who also believe in hard work and achieving goals honestly. Nursing school is an effort, but one that shouldn't suck the life out of you.

Keep us posted.

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Thank you guys for your kind words!

I had my appointment today and it went surprisingly well - I have a referral for a Psych NP on Monday, and I'm stoked that they were able to fit me in so soon, plus another appointment with the counselor on Tuesday before my class.

It felt really great to get everything off my chest, but she thinks that it's more than just burnout, so she's asked me to explore the idea of maybe taking SSRIs for a while and see how I go with those, but I'll discuss those further on Monday with the NP.

It'd be awesome getting to feel normal again, and to be able to find the enjoyment in things!

Rock on everyone and I hope you're having an awesome day

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