The reasons I'm going to continue to bust my ass in nursing school and put up the best effort I possibly can is because I owe it to myself. Half ass'ing a job, life, or whatever you are working toward is all on your shoulders. The hard work is evident to others, it's a display to the world what you represent as an individual. I get some satisfaction from impressing professors, maybe from some deep seeded trait engrained into me from a constant desire to impress my father. My father is a man with little ability to moderate his work, play, or relaxation. He's all go, 100% pedal to the metal, over-achieving type of guy. I've consistently heard from his co-workers that he is cut from a different mold, a mold infused with molecules that vibrate a little faster than all the rest. Unfortunately, I retain some of this inability to moderate my life. Last semester I maintained a 4.0, impressed the **** out of my clinical instructors, and succeeded in all regards academically. However, I have a girlfriend that was neglected, got somewhat chubby from sedentary hours spent reading and cramming knowledge in a tired mind, and ignored my "friends." Nursing school... it's the anti-life, socially anyway. I'm a more solitary individual anyhow, but do thrive and deeply appreciate the friends I have made over the years. In a human interaction I'm one to appreciate quality over quantity. Most people I find a reason to shy away from, (i.e., politically insane, religious fanatic, or treat their body/mind to a standard I disagree with). While nursing is a giving profession, at times nursing school feels like a selfish endeavor. I'm driven to the point where I put everything behind my success, so friends, family, and life... I'll hopefully see you in May. For now, I'll continue on the warpath of academia and self-mutilation as I push my limits of performance to exceed the expectations of others while just barely scratching the surface of mine.
