A personality overhaul

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Dec 16, 2008

I think it is probably best to keep it in the back of your mind at all times. Watch how your 'body language' is and try to have an open, more inviting attitude. I'm not sure what you mean by your body language turning people off. Maybe you can be more available for patients, ask them if there's anything else you can do, and try not to be walking out the door at the same time. Try sitting down with a patient for five minutes, you'd be suprised at how much difference that makes. Just five minutes. That patient will remember how you took time out to sit with her. You might also be suprised at what you find out when you're really listening and not worried about the next med pass or your charting. Just take that five minutes to BE with the patient and talk about what they want to talk about.

Also, could you explain what you mean by your body language? What do you do?

RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN · Dec 16, 2008

Smiling usually does the trick and asking "is there anything I can get for you all?" I've had a few occassions when I had to be extra extra friendly to family members who feel they aren't recieving good service from previous shifts.

nightmare, RN · Dec 16, 2008

Be aware of where your arms are!If you naturally stand with hands on hips(A thing I used to do!) then this can look intimidating to some people,similarly if you stand with arms folded or across your body it can send out the wrong signs.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Dec 16, 2008

The first step is self-observation. Don't try to change anything, just be aware of your body language for a shift or two. Pretend you are an outsider observing you. What kinds of signals are you sending? Do you fold your arms in front of you? Do you put your hands on your hips? Do you keep a large physical distance between yourself and others?

After observing yourself and identifying those things that you're doing, make a list of them, then make a list of alternate behaviors you can substitute, such as relaxing your arms down at your sides or folding your hands (not arms) in front of you, or decreasing the physical distance between yourself and patients/family when communicating. Also, do you ever take time to slide a chair over to the bedside and sit down to talk to your patient? You can do a lot of your assessment from a seated position at the bedside.

Projecting a calm, caring attitude can be accomplished by doing a few simple things, such as practicing active listening techniques (making eye contact with the person who is speaking, nodding your head to indicate you understand them, occasionally saying "MM-HM" to indicate you're listening, then repeating back to them what they just said, but in your own words- not parroting, and waiting for them to finish speaking before you speak), placing a hand on the arm or shoulder when taking vitals or auscultating heart and lung sounds, relaxing your facial muscles and "softening" your gaze. Before you enter the room, take a deep breath in and out, relaxing your neck, shoulders, and abdomen.

I think a lot of what others respond negatively to is tension that we convey unconsciously, but very clearly, through our body language. The majority of communication is nonverbal, so we communicate a tremendous amount this way. I think if you make a conscious effort to relax yourself and appear open and friendly, people will perceive you in a more positive way.

Once you have identified the behaviors you want to minimize and the behaviors you'd like to substitute, then implement the plan.

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Dec 16, 2008

When you slide that chair up next to them, you're down to their level, not looking 'down' at them. So, it makes the patient feel better, because you're right there, down with them,, Imagine, they're laying in that bed for hours, days, and everyone is always standing over them, telling them what they have to do :nono: all the time. A warm, smiling face and an open ear is always nice.

tryingtohaveitall · Dec 16, 2008

Great advice here! For a little more background info to give better suggestions, what do you mean by "this is nothing new." Are you feeling frustrated with your patients/families or do you just send out wrong signals when really you're feeling fine?

Sometimes I am concentrating/thinking so hard that I look like I'm upset or mad when really I'm fine. I do make a conscious effort at times to smile and make sure my body language isn't closed/upset.

BEDPAN76 · Dec 16, 2008

Hi Brookie! The first thing that comes to my mind is that your boss may be the problem. You said your co-workers say you are doing fine. When you are a new nurse it is easy to take things to heart. I agree with the previous posters, especially about sitting down for a couple of minutes in the pts room. That said, don't let your boss's opinion undermine your self-confidence!! Hang in there and please keep us posted! :)

Babs0512 · Dec 17, 2008

I couldn't agree more. (They've done studies on this) Whenever you need to see your patient, whether it's explain a new med, or assessing their pain after medicating them, or perhaps just tying up loose ends so you can finish your shift - sit down and talk with the patient.

"Hi Mrs. Jones, is your HA improving? yes, good, what number on the 0-10 scale is it now? 9 down to 4 - great we've made progress. I'm getting ready to go home, so I'm going to meet with your night nurse to give report before I do. Get a good nights rest, I'll see you tomorrow!

Say the above paragraph out loud. It takes me approximately 15 seconds. If you sit down and say it, the patient will perceive it taking twice as long! Not only that, sitting gives the impression that you care and have time for them.

It really does work. I sit nearly every time I'm in the patient room, even giving their meds (You know, the one's with 10 pills that can only take one at a time) It's a break for me and it makes the patient happy - win/win situation.

Try it

Blessings

GrumpyRN63, ADN, RN · Dec 17, 2008

I agree 100% w/easttexasnurse and babs, I do this often, it truly makes all the difference. Just the same five minutes sitting on a chair or the end of the bed really makes the pt feel sooo listened to and cared for. I find taking that few minutes saves me so much time in the end.The patient and you can develop an immediate rapport, decreases their stress/anxiety,instills trust, and usually end up calling you LESS !! Gives you the opportunity to find out their concerns/answer any questions, give them the plan for your shift, can do a quick assessment all at once . You are asking someone who doesn't know you, and who now has their life and well-being in their hands to feel safe and well cared for, pretty scary in this day and age. Running in and out of rooms, slinging meds, checking this and that, performing invasive procedures is routine for us, not the patient. Take the five minutes, sit down, it will be a win-win for you both.

heron, ASN, RN · Dec 17, 2008

I second the suggestion to sit down with the pt and families whenever you can. I started doing this years ago, mainly because of a sore back when I stand still for a long time -- but sitting down immediately changes the energy -- it implies that your attention is on them and that you have the time to listen. As busy as we are, rushing through an interaction because you're worrying about the next thing on your list can be very off-putting.

I had a math teacher that used to say, "Make haste slowly". It's served me well.

MISTY BODINE · Dec 17, 2008

It is so sad that we are assessed for our bodies and not our minds. We are frustrated because we can not be patient advocates. Task task task glad to hear that nurses still have time to sit and talk with your patients. Acuity plays no part in nursing. What, for those of you that have 10 yrs experience have not not seen a increase in your work load? Who has time for meals or breaks. Again I ask where are the nusing protectors?