A Loved One Is A Patient (It's Horrible Being On This Side of the Call Bell)

margin261 · May 12, 2016

Hang in there! It's a very hard

wannabeny · May 12, 2016

Sending good thoughts your way

margin261 · May 12, 2016

Well, I guess I shouldn't post til I'm more awake!

Hang in there! It's a very difficult position to be in. But pick your battles... If it's not important in the big scheme of things, just try to let it go.

When my Dad was in the hospital, I tried to be as nice & polite as I could be, let the nurses know I knew their job is difficult & let the little things go. That way when I did insist on something, they took my concerns seriously (no- not all nurses will operate this way). You'll learn quickly who is conscientious about their job & who isn't.

I'm hoping your loved one is only in for a short time & everything goes smoothly for all of you!

kiszi, RN · May 12, 2016

I have been there, too. I did let little things go, but was not afraid to be the annoying nurse family member when my LO needed to be advocated for. If we can compare it to when you are the patient's nurse, what would your priorities be? What would you pester the doctor about until something was done? Those are the things to worry about, and let the rest go.

Prayers for a smooth recovery for your family member.

OyWithThePoodles, RN · May 12, 2016

When I have a loved one that is sick, they usually end up in my hospital, so there's no hiding it. I find that they take my concerns more seriously because they know I know what I am talking about. The only down-side is sometimes the doc will talk medical to me instead of talking non-medical to my family. So I then have to interpret.

I was once at a doctors visit with my newly dx'd diabetic father. The nurse (I say nurse but she may have been an MA, no name tag) was trying to show him how to do his Lantus pen but couldn't quite figure it out. I asked if I could help her (I definitely didn't want her showing him wrong) and let her know I was a nurse. She was grateful, and let me know she would be educating herself better on the use.

Another time my step-father had just had a bowel resection r/t colon ca. He wasn't in my hospital because his surgeon practiced elsewhere. I walked into the ICU (Apparently at this hospital, simple colon resections go to the ICU?!) and his NG was on continuous suction.

At our hospital suction is strictly intermittent, and you will get REAMED by the surgeon if it's found to be on continuous.

I silently freak out a bit, text one of my co-workers who not-so-silently freaked out and told me to ask the nurse. So I did, to which she replied "who are you, do you think there's a problem?" I explained my concerns, but apparently there they keep it on continuous... She didn't like me too much.

I try to be that nurse family member who you love to have, the one who helps, rarely calls out, etc. But I WILL advocate for my family when needed. And I can get feisty if the need arises.

It's hard being on the pt/pt family side of the bed regardless of whether or not they know you're a nurse.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · May 12, 2016

So it's not just me. Thank goodness. I was beginning to wonder if I was the whole problem or what.

I do go on and advocate when I just have to, and just deal with the fallout, if any. What really gets me is that my LO's generally side against me, that is, they don't want me to speak up, however nicely, however important the issue. They fear staff will try to take out on them whatever anger they have against me. I understand but doubt 99.9% of staff would retaliate.

And the beat goes on. LO is doing better, thankfully. Home later this week probably.

Thanks for your responses and support.

Interesting that a doctor could get by with being the family member of a hospitalized LO and everyone would think nothing of the doc giving input, asking questions. At least, that has been my experience. I should have been born royalty, LOL. :sarcastic:

Thanks again to all. And I hope your LO's are all well.

sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN · May 13, 2016

I behave, as long as they preform adequately......

then if not, they get assistance of my 44yrs, experience,

i prefere the first, but will not tolerate unsafe or inadequate practice

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · May 13, 2016

I behave, as long as they preform adequately......
then if not, they get assistance of my 44yrs, experience,
i prefer the first, but will not tolerate unsafe or inadequate practice

So true, so true. I like your wording - "assistance".

How do you become a member of COB Club? :no:

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · May 13, 2016

My LO has a habit of "outing" me. :-/

I haven't seen anything downright unsafe, and because there is more than one way to do most things, I just let people do their job. I do ask a lot of questions, though.

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · May 15, 2016

I'm in that situation now, literally. I try not to let on that I'm a nurse because the medical staff assume that I know more than I do. I ask a lot of questions, and let people do their jobs.

allnurses Guide · May 16, 2016

When my dearly missed husband was in hospital, there was no hiding it as I worked in the same place. It got to the point of when I would bring him in, my doc would just hand me the order page (before EMRs) and have me write out the routine orders and meds since I did all his tube feeds, suction & meds at home most of the time; then they would add in whatever he needed for that particular visit.