A beautiful thing happened today...

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

You know the 90yo LOL/LOM, advanced dementia, has an advance directive stating DNR & comfort measures only, sent in from the facility by ambulance because they're "just not themselves". You know the one I'm talking about.

You carefully place the advance directive on the top of the stack of papers sent with them from the facility, place the chart in the rack for the doctor, and don't begin any interventions because it's clear that the person has end stage disease, and it's clear from the advance directive that the person doesn't want any aggressive intervention.

But of course, the doctor orders bloodwork, fluids, and a cath UA. Who here hasn't had to pry apart the contractured legs of a demented LOL that doesn't understand what you're doing down there, or have someone hold down the hands of the demented LOM so he can't hit you when you stick the tube in his urethra? Who here hasn't felt like dirt poking those birdlike little arms a half dozen times, trying to cannulate spiderweb thin veins to have them blow, one after the other, all while knowing this was not what the person wanted?

Family members stand by, wringing their hands helplessly, wanting you to do something to "fix" Momma, to make her better so she can go back to "living" at the facility. There is no fixing here! This needs to STOP, you want to tell them. And yet, you understand their reluctance to "give up" on their loved one; their grief.

Today, my LOL was admitted to the hospital. The hospitalist who came to see her had a heart to heart with the family, explaining to them that even though we could fix this particular problem, we could not fix the bigger problem; that she was at the end of the road, and that here was an opportunity for her to die peacefully, in comfort, surrounded by family, rather than prolonging the inevitable with needles and drugs and tests and procedures. She explained why antibiotics and IV fluids are not comfort measures, and what kinds of things could be done to keep a person comfortable during the dying process.

I went into the room and removed all of the cords and cables, discontinuing cardiac monitoring and vital signs. I stopped the antibiotics and IV fluids ordered by the ED doctor mid-infusion.

"Thank you" said the LOL.

I bundled her up in warm blankets, and draped her with one of those quilts sewn by the volunteers that we're supposed to give to the sick children who come through. She didn't know I gave her a special quilt, because she couldn't see, but her daughter at the bedside saw and knew. I packed up her belongings into a plastic bag and sent her upstairs to the inpatient unit, to die.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

That is a good day, Stargazer.

:hug:

[mochamonster]

That is beautiful, thanks for sharing. Hopefully she dies with some dignity with her loving (and well-informed) family with her. Bless you!

[orthonurse55]

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for a well informed hospitalist who is not out to save the world!

[Ruthiegal]

Thank you for being a loving and caring nurse.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Thank you for being a loving and caring nurse.

Actually, I'm an uncaring nurse lacking in compassion. But thanks all the same!

[JeneraterRN]

Your loving care made the end of her life much easier. It was also a wise hospitalist to see the entire picture. May your LOL find rest.

[Lunah, MSN, RN]

I cannot tell you how different it is to be in an Army ER ... I think the oldest patient I've seen was 81, a retiree who lives in the area. Most of our patients are young-ish (but you'd better believe the sick-sick ones show up on my shift, haha, that hasn't changed!). I do not miss taking care of the numerous geriatric patients in the manner you most aptly described, Stargazer -- when it feels like a violation, not the kind of comfort care they need. And we need about a gazillion of those hospitalists to return the dignity to our aged population. Thank you for this.

[nola1202]

I'm suprised the hospital let her stay, most hospitals, even if the loved one is minutes away from death (i remember one with a heart rate of 40 and irreg, no bp to speak of, the hospital called hospice and I wondered if they'd get her before she died or if she'd die on the way to the hospice. I've worked utilization review and couldn't find a way to make a dying person fit criteria, ironic.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

I'm suprised the hospital let her stay, most hospitals, even if the loved one is minutes away from death (i remember one with a heart rate of 40 and irreg, no bp to speak of, the hospital called hospice and I wondered if they'd get her before she died or if she'd die on the way to the hospice. I've worked utilization review and couldn't find a way to make a dying person fit criteria, ironic.

Our hospital has a Palliative Care Team and a Comfort Care order set. I've taken care of many comfort care patients on the inpatient unit.

[prmenrs, RN]

Good job for you and the doc. And the family.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Yes, I definitely give a lot of credit to the family for being open to it. I understand how hard it is to let go, and how it must feel like you're failing your loved one somehow. I think we're so ingrained in our society to resist death at all costs.