A Beautiful Nightmare

This is a detailed account of the night that I first learned that I passed the licensure exam. I know many nurses can relate to it.

A Beautiful Nightmare

"Tit-tit!Tit-tit!Tit-tit!"

I woke up to the continuous beeping of my mobile phone. At first I thought that I was just dreaming. But there goes my phone again, wailing in the wee hours of the morning. I swear I could've thrown it out of my sight if only I didn't remember how much it cost me to buy that precious scrap of technology. And so, I was awake again. Okay fine, who's the culprit?! Good! Now I have to count at least a thousand sheep in my head again just so I can sleep! Grrr...

Wondering who could be sending me mounds of text messages in that very indecent hour, I tried to read the messages with my hazy eyes. The first message I opened was from Kay, one of my college buddies and best friends. It read:

"Sis! Congratulations! You're already a registered nurse! Wow!"

My initial response was, "Huh?!" I thought she was just kidding. So I told her to knock it off and get some good night's sleep instead. As I was waiting for her reply, I browsed the other messages that came in. And almost all of them were saying:

"Congratulations, Miss RN!"

"Where's my treat from the new RN?!"

"Where are you? Shouldn't a new nurse be out celebrating?!"

I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to think, or feel! What, are they serious?! They must be kidding me. The results are yet to be out next month! But at a second thought, why would all of them pick on me all at the same time? Definitely it's not a scheme because they don't know each other all too well. Then it struck me. Could the results have been released earlier than everyone expected? I decided to confirm. The internet was the best reference at the moment.

When I was about to open my phone's web browser, it suddenly rang. It was Bob calling, a friend of mine who's a nurse for 5 years now. And his first words were, "Welcome to the club!" That could only mean one thing. Then he said that he's looking at the nursing licensure exam results at his laptop, and pronounced my complete name clearly from the list of PASSERS!

As Bob was speaking thru the phone, I was already transported to another world thinking, "This is it. After all the sacrifices, tears and trials, I have succeeded." And I just can't believe it! I remembered myself crying before the licensure exam. I remembered all the things that I have gone through. These things flashed in front of my blank eyes.....

My family is not that well off to send me to college. So I finished college with the help of my uncles and aunts. But this "I-Owe-You" set-up made me cry so many times. Especially when I graduated and I was supposed to get review classes as preparation for the licensure exam. I wasn't able to get that privilege. It seemed that they have forgotten me already, that they didn't care anymore. So I was forced to review at home, with a little-mote-than-nothing to study on, because I didn't have books and other references (during college, I only borrowed books from my cousins, classmates and dorm mates). This alone made me think that I can never do it. But I did not lose hope.

Two months before the exam date, I was so close to the final steps of filing for the board exam, but I was financially short. I couldn't think of any way that I could pay the expenses. I felt like bursting at that moment. It was so frustrating. I was so close yet so far. So even if it was against my pride, I told a friend about this just so I can take it off my chest. I sent her a text message. But I did not receive any reply. The next day, I was surprised when she came up and slipped something into my left hand. When I checked what it was, I saw some bills in my hand. I looked at her, puzzled. Sensing my confusion, she said, "Our friends gave in part of their allowances to help you finish your filing." Without my friend knowing it, my tears fell as I hugged her tight.

A short while after, my father got really sick that he cannot go to work anymore. So even in this very unfortunate timing, I applied as a call center agent. I was hired immediately. It was a difficult and demanding job, but I needed it so that I could put some food in our plates. I had to work at least 12 hours in graveyard shift. That gave me at least three hours of uninterrupted sleep and so little time to study. I was already losing hope that I nearly decided to quit.

November 2009, I took the board exam with the tiny dent of hope that was left in me. What I held on to was the thought that I have always pushed into my mind, that "IT IS NOT ALWAYS YOUR FAITH IN GOD; SOMETIMES, IT'S HIS FAITH IN YOU." So I gave up all my faith unto Him, and hoped dearly that he would do the same for me. And he did.

I was in cloud nine. I can't sleep, I tossed and turned, but I just couldn't shake the thoughts off my head. I was up and awake for the rest of the night. But eventually, before the first streak of sunshine kissed the heavens, I dozed off to sleep.

I woke up at ten in the morning. My head ached like hell. The first thought that came to my mind was, "Wow. What a nice dream." But before I can even stretch a muscle, my phone, still in my numb hands, beeped. The notification said:

"9 New Messages

1: from RC

Message: Congratulations, Miss RN!"

Oh yes, my beautiful nightmare was more than just a sweet dream!

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acaitan29

About acaitan29

Sheila Belarmino. RN from the Philippines

1 Article   22 Posts

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Specializes in GERIATRICS AND PRISON.

Congrats

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Specializes in Oncology&Homecare.

Job well done! Adversity makes your success all the sweeter. Congratulations and good luck in your chosen profession.:yeah:

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congratulations..that gave me goosebumps!

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thank you all!=p

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Specializes in Critical Care.

that made me teary eyed :) congratulations!

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I'm so happy for you because you made it despite the financial struggles you've been through. Congratulations! :)

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thank you so much..it is now that i've realized that I have focused on the financial aspects of my personal tortures..yeah,it really gave me a hard time..but there were a lot of other instances that I have not mentioned..and it all piled up on me like it's gonna eat me whole..unfortunately I haven't included them in this article..but it's okay..i think I have delivered what I wanted people to know..i guess it was enough..ö

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i enjoyed reading your story...CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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thank you!i'm glad you enjoyed reading this article..well I enjoyed writing it too!hehe..ö

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I know exactly how you feel. I took my nursing boards 4 years after I gratuated from college. I was constantly telling myself that I had a better shot of winning the lottery than passing my boards. I finally told myself " the hell with it, whats the worst thing that could happen"? " I don't pass, I definitely won't pass not taking them" I can still feel those happy butterflys in my stomach when I opened that envelope. I was so excited it probably looked like I won the lottery!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thanks for sharing. Your story reminded me of how excited I was when I first became an RN. Congrats and may you have many years of enjoyment helping and healing your patients. God bless.

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