Best end of year complaint

Specialties School

Published

I know we've had these threads before... but we are getting as restless as the kiddos and we need a laugh.

Share your best "Are you freaking kidding me, Kid?!?!" complaint (from anytime, I just notice they become more off the wall the closer we are to summer or another break)... and let's all remember that another adult (teacher) had to clear these kids to come see us first...)

My two best ones came from the same fifth grade student a couple days apart.

Student: My earlobes feel squishy

Me: ...ok. Did you hurt them in some way?

Student: Nope. Just feel squishy

Me: That's not really an issue. Head back to class.

Student: It feels like all my bones are turning to mush.

Me: Well, you walked in here ok, so I thing they'll be ok.

Student: *(giant eye roll)*

Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
If not, they call their parent and the parent calls the superintendent that I'm neglecting their poor baby. I Am I the only one with no power?

I think it's knowing your audience. You plainly have the experience that leads you to calling everyone, and that's OK (I mean...it's not OK you got yelled at by parents/the superintendent).

If that's how it is in your school and the administration is tolerating it...be at peace in that knowledge. It doesn't mean you don't have power. It just means that this is how it is. The parent will not be able to come pick the kid up from college when he has a hangnail, nor from work when she has a cold...and apparently nobody cares about that.

I spent a lot of time my first year here reminding parents about attendance failures. Universally, the parents did NOT appreciate my concern for their sweet babies' attendance. Live and learn!

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Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.

I've got a good one! Although, I'm sorry I missed it...I had my son at the orthodontist this morning (my secretary covers for me). A teacher sent a little kinder kiddo down for a temp check because, "She swallowed a fly." Haven't we all, at some point? Contrary to the popular nursery rhyme, I don't think she'll die.

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Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.
I've got a good one! Although, I'm sorry I missed it...I had my son at the orthodontist this morning (my secretary covers for me). A teacher sent a little kinder kiddo down for a temp check because, "She swallowed a fly." Haven't we all, at some point? Contrary to the popular nursery rhyme, I don't think she'll die.

Wait, why does your temp go up when you swallow a fly??

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Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

A student came to me to get a maxi pad. Then she stood there for a minute and asked, "should I go to the bathroom to put this on?"

I said, "well, don't do it right here!"

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Specializes in School Nursing.
Wait, why does your temp go up when you swallow a fly??

Because flies are germy and if we swallow one we may become septic.

(Just kidding! But some adults are so afraid of "germs" that they might feel that way.)

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Wait, why does your temp go up when you swallow a fly??

Maybe the fly is burning incense. We can't be certain.

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Thermonuclear flies. Who knows, makes about as much sense!

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Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.
Wait, why does your temp go up when you swallow a fly??

I don't know.

This teacher drives me nuts. She will send kids for any little cough, sneeze, and head scratch.

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Specializes in School nursing.

I just had a MS student come into my office and tell me she was sad because her parents were leaving. Knowing this student well I asked if they were going on vacation. She said yes. Then she said this gem:

"I'll probably cry when they leave. But they deserve some alone time. They are always around me and I'm a lot."

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"I have poop on my shoe." From a kinder. She came from class. At 1pm. "Someone pooped in the class and I stepped in it." Ok, but why is this a job for the nurse? "Because my teacher didn't know what to do!" Well said, well said.

Gloves and sani-wipes to the rescue. :) I just saved a life, folks. Toss me that cape. *superhero pose*

Addendum:

I never did see the mystery pooper. But I did have to call the janitor about poop in the gang bathroom urinal. I -think- the issues are unrelated.

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Specializes in NCSN.

Student reported falling on the way to tell me happy summer.

Small red mark on chin.

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Specializes in ICU; Telephone Triage Nurse.
Ha, mine exchange usually goes like this:

"I want to go home."

"Well, I want a million dollars, but unfortunately I think neither of us will get what we want today."

(Sometimes I'll add "But we'll get what we need." One high school got that and laughed once.)

Did you sing it?

My parents (old hippies) used to sing: You Can't Always Get What You Want to me me (in two part harmony) when I was a kid! I used to throw myself on the floor and have myself a good ole child tantrum ... Now I smile and fondly and remember two great people I dearly miss ...

Mick Jagger would be so proud of you! :up:

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