I Never Thought They'd HATE Me...

Newbie2 · Sep 22, 2009

Yes! I've had similar experiences. My closest sister said "You a nurse!" and laughed. It is hurtful and I've lost some relationships over my new career path. It bothers me a lot but I know that I am doing something new and exciting. People may feel that you are leaving them behind and that is their problem! Good Luck and do what's best for YOU!

RNZenpeaceful · Dec 26, 2009

I would like to know if anyone else has run into this odd and rather unpleasant "experience." I graduated from nursing school in 1984 and made two lasting friendships with classmates from my clinical group. However, these two classmates only worked for a short time as nurses and then moved on to something else because "nursing was not for them." I can totally respect and understand how that could happpen-one of the two was a former Art major who could not find a job in Art & decided to become a nurse in order to be able to earn a living; however, within a few years of graduation from nursing school, she then met & married and doctor and admitted to him that she HATED being a nurse, and "retired" from the working world permanently. The second friend went back to school for her MBA and is now very successful and affluent-she works with implementing electronic medical records in hospitals and doctors's offices. I couldn't be happier for either one-both got exactly what she wanted....What is particularly hurtful, though, is my friends' attitudes towards ME for "insisting on continuing to work as a nurse." Each and every time I talk to either one, I am told things like "why would you want to work in an ER and expose yourself to disease and violence?" "Why don't you go back to school and try to get something where you would be working in an office?" "How can you STAND working with sick/injured/needy people?" "You could be making so much more MONEY if you did something other than nursing..." I have explained that Nursing is where my skills and heart is-that I have tried office work and that I did not like it. That there are all kinds of people in the world and that I have found where I love to be...that in spite of the hard work and long hours, I am actually very happy doing this kind of work. By the way, I am going to graduate school in the evening in a BSN-to-MSN program and ultimately would like to be a Critical Care/ER Advanced Practice Nurse. So I do have higher career aspirations-but I am just not intersted to office work/sitting in front of a computer. My friend with the MBA has become particularly obnoxious-at social get-togethers she boasts a lot about her job, her Mercedes, her degree....I don't know why this bothers me, and it is really only these two friends who are like this-and truthfully, I don't see either one that much anyway.

I guess I am curious what they act this way and why do they really even CARE THAT I "insist on being a nurse?

Any thoughts?

akadimkz, ADN, RN · Dec 26, 2009

That's horrible that somebody would discourage you to the extent that they would insult you in the most possible way. Thank you for sharing this because I as well am thinking of pediatric oncology. Don't listen to those negative comments, you just continue to do what you do. Pursue your dream and that's all that matters.

Rednights · Dec 26, 2009

Ah ... those are some pretty severe remarks, I understand some of your friends questioning your choice about nursing, it's a whole different ball game when they want to see you rot in hell. Now I don't know if it was sarcasm or not, but if it wasn't you need to get the bigger picture here ... that's a serious real life issue if you are seeing these people, because quite frankly they hate you.

Rimzy · Dec 26, 2009

Wow...thats horrible... i just dont understand where they are coming from when they say all those things...it takes a very brave and compassionate person to cater for someone else when they are not feeling well....i am just appalled at the things they said...i just dont understand the logic behind the things they said to you. I hope you dont feel discouraged and you do what you really want to do....As the saying goes: If you do something you love, then you never have to work a day in your life... Cheers!

HeartsOpenWide, RN · Dec 26, 2009

How old are you and your friends? They sound pretty immature. Not things a mature adult would say. I work in labor and delivery and many people think what I do is gross; but I don't mind it at all, I love it. Different strokes for different fokes; but no one should call some one names for doing something that is not for the person calling names.

I read "Baby Catcher" while I was taking pre-reqs. I love to write and many people tell me I am good at it. I recieved As in all my college English courses. Being a writer does not make that much money and you have to have a lot of schooling for that to be your primary job. Why not become a nurse and write about being a nurse? I would love to read about a correctional nurse. Your choices of nursing specialties are so broad; as they are for all nurses. Once you are in school you will probably decide which one you are most interested in., and if you do not like that one you can always get a nursing job in a different area. Thats the glory of nursing. I mean, I guess you can always write about different things, but a writer is a write; there is just so much more varitey in nursing

thatsthekeyRNC · Dec 27, 2009

Clearly they are just envious of you because you'll be doing something amazing with your life. I've never heard of people reacting like that.. mostly just "I know I wouldn't be able to do it, it sounds hard!" type of comments, but wow. Sounds like a great time to find new friends though :-)

Isitpossible, LPN, LVN · Dec 27, 2009

you may not think so..but i detect a little green eyed monster....when a person is genuinely happy in their own life/career, they dont need to put anyone else down...it really is that simple

jessymarie · Jan 4, 2010

I would just say that those people that replied in a negative way like that are not true friends, and I am sorry that they have said those terrible things to you.

I admire you for wanting to work in any oncology department. I agree with the others that said it takes a special person to work in those departments. I could never do that, i just don't think that I am strong enough as a person to work in oncology.

I just want to say that you should pursue your goals and your dreams, and ignore those people that say their your friend and then attack you like that.

hopefulUS · Jan 6, 2010

I finally decided to share with my friends the specialties I'm considering getting into once I complete nursing school, which are:
- Pediatric Oncology
- General Oncology
- Labor & Delivery
- Psych
- Correctional Facilities
Now, I knew to expect a lot of mixed reactions to possibly working in a prison, but what actually happened blew my mind.
I started getting emails and calls from friends asking "Why on Earth would you want to be a nurse?" and "Cortney, you're such a good writer, why would you waste that and go into nursing?" ((Evidently they are just now catching on to the idea that I want to be a nurse, after I've spent the last six months talking about it...)) Alright, I kinda saw this one coming. No one is really too crazy about me becoming a nurse except my father, grandfather, & boyfriend, they're thrilled for me. I let it roll off my back. The thing that really got to me? When I logged on to AIM that night, I started getting hate IMs from FOUR different people, saying things like "You sick ****, why would you want to work around dying children, I hope you rot in hell!" and "I hope one of those loonies in the psych ward puts you out of your miserable existence". The brunt of it was regarding pediatric oncology, and how I am a sick, demented person for wanting to care for children with cancer. But you get the picture...
((Surprisingly enough, I still haven't gotten any comments about the Corrections thing!))
I understand that some people are never going to be supportive of my wanting to be a nurse, and I accept that, I'm not one to need everyone's approval before I do something that I feel is right. It was just those four people... The fact that four people I KNOW on a personal level feel that much HATE toward me for something I want to do to help care for people...
I don't know why I'm telling all of you this... Maybe I'm just wondering if you guys have faced the same emotional road blocks from people you thought loved you.
Thanks, guys.

Honey don't listen to ONE word those people tell you. Do they even know all that goes into being a nurse? You are a caring, SMART, strong individual and and far from a sick person. It takes a strong and caring person to care for a sick child. These people aren't your friends, a real friend would support you for taking such a noble career. Stay strong, and go for your dreams :nurse:

Mabel

MassED, BSN, RN · Jan 6, 2010

what is AIM? The lender?

MassED, BSN, RN · Jan 6, 2010

I finally decided to share with my friends the specialties I'm considering getting into once I complete nursing school, which are:
- Pediatric Oncology
- General Oncology
- Labor & Delivery
- Psych
- Correctional Facilities
Now, I knew to expect a lot of mixed reactions to possibly working in a prison, but what actually happened blew my mind.
I started getting emails and calls from friends asking "Why on Earth would you want to be a nurse?" and "Cortney, you're such a good writer, why would you waste that and go into nursing?" ((Evidently they are just now catching on to the idea that I want to be a nurse, after I've spent the last six months talking about it...)) Alright, I kinda saw this one coming. No one is really too crazy about me becoming a nurse except my father, grandfather, & boyfriend, they're thrilled for me. I let it roll off my back. The thing that really got to me? When I logged on to AIM that night, I started getting hate IMs from FOUR different people, saying things like "You sick ****, why would you want to work around dying children, I hope you rot in hell!" and "I hope one of those loonies in the psych ward puts you out of your miserable existence". The brunt of it was regarding pediatric oncology, and how I am a sick, demented person for wanting to care for children with cancer. But you get the picture...
((Surprisingly enough, I still haven't gotten any comments about the Corrections thing!))
I understand that some people are never going to be supportive of my wanting to be a nurse, and I accept that, I'm not one to need everyone's approval before I do something that I feel is right. It was just those four people... The fact that four people I KNOW on a personal level feel that much HATE toward me for something I want to do to help care for people...
I don't know why I'm telling all of you this... Maybe I'm just wondering if you guys have faced the same emotional road blocks from people you thought loved you.
Thanks, guys.

no, never faced any roadblocks for going into an honorable profession. I have descendants that settled in Santa Maria, California on a covered wagon and one was a nurse - my mother is a nurse....sometimes it's just a part of you and there's no escaping it. It is so amazing to be part of such a noble profession. Wait until those naysayers need a nurse. They'll come to understand and wish their ignorance hadn't shown its face to you.

I would cut out all of those that don't support you. Sounds like you have the support of those that matter, anyway, so the heck with the rest. How dare anyone look down at nursing? That's like kicking a kitten or harming a baby/elderly person - who would EVER?