I Never Thought They'd HATE Me...

allnurses Guide · Sep 18, 2009

Uhhh, as the mother of a child who died from AML, all I can say is that it does take a special person to be a ped. onc. nurse, and it is far from making you a sick person.

It sounds like you have some housecleaning to do. Get rid of the toxic people in your life. You won't have time for them now. Most people get hostile toward things that make them feel bad about themselves. Perhaps this is just you having goals they themselves know they don't have it in them to achieve. It doesn't really matter though. Onward and upward - your "friends" have shown their mettle. Cut the negative ones loose and reach out for the life you have chosen with both hands and don't look back.

rubystar · Sep 18, 2009

Oh wow. I'm kind of baffled at those responses that you said you got from your friends.

I agree with the first poster. That isn't really how friends should behave. It's not like you decided to announce you were going to be a prostitute or a meth dealer! I'm glad you have some people who support your decision. Maybe you need some more mature friends, especially after that reaction to working in peds oncology. It's not like you give them the cancer! sheesh.

SBJustBreathe, ASN, RN · Sep 18, 2009

Wow...I can't believe your "friends" would do these things to you. It takes a very special person to work with people who have cancer. I admire you for wanting to do it, I know I wouldn't have the strength. So just ignore their comments and do what you want to do. Follow your dreams. And if it were me in this situation, I wouldn't be hanging around those people anymore. Nobody needs that kind of negativity in their life.

IClaimNursingSchool · Sep 18, 2009

how I see it your so called "Friends" arent friends at all. This is your life not theirs. Your career choices are amazing im intreseted in child neurology not many people can handle the difficult fields but some one has to do it. THink of your "Friends" as a foot stoll step on it and reach your goals. If your father, grandfather, and boyfriend is thrilled and excited for you that is wonderful. Don't let peoples ignorance get the best of you put just keep pushing forward and do whats in your heart. Also don't let any one or anything sway your career goals!!

BE BLESSED!

c3p0 · Sep 18, 2009

Thank you all so much for your kind words. And you're all right in saying that I will not be considering them friends anymore, I'm no fool! I know when someone is poison to my energy, and I already feel like a million bucks cutting them loose.

I still have a hard time understanding why so many people are reacting this way. Did any of you experience this much negativity, or something similar, when you started expressing an interest in nursing?

CER022512 · Sep 18, 2009

I haven't had responses quite as hateful from any of the people in my life, but I can really understand how hurtful the negativity towards you for expressing your desire to enter such an esteemed field of work. The most annoying responses I keep getting from friends is this look of shock, and then they try to tell me that I must not be aware of what a nurse REALLY does...they say "oh, that's so funny, you think you're gonna clean up poop?" It's so frustrating because they act like I just woke up one day and said "I'm a nurse today!" when really I've been researching this for the passed year and know exactly what I'm getting into. My mom actually told me that she was glad I was volunteering at a hospital so I "won't waste time taking the pre-reqs"...meaning she thinks by being at a hospital I will immediately decide that I don't want to be a nurse.

The first poster was definitely right- the people that said those things to you aren't actually upset that you're entering that field, they are jealous. I would bet that they are peope who are not going anywhere fast in life, and it makes them feel bad about themselves that you are a. entering a field that is so academically challenging, and b. have the desire to enter a specialty that plays such a huge role in helping children. Don't let it make you feel bad, just let it fuel your desire to succeed.

Circejane · Sep 18, 2009

No, not at all, and their reaction is kind of mindboggling. The only thing that I can think of is that if these are online friends, rather than people who you know and hang out with in real life, there's a strange subculture of people out there that just like drama. They love you, then they hate you, all without reason, because it's relatively anonymous and feeds their need for excitement. Stay away from these people. It's a lot easier for them to be mercurial and toxic online than IRL, thus it happens more there. If they're not just online, then REALLY stay away from them.

Grats to you on deciding to become a nurse! It is a noble profession.

Mommy2NQ · Sep 18, 2009

I finally decided to share with my friends the specialties I'm considering getting into once I complete nursing school, which are:
- Pediatric Oncology
- General Oncology
- Labor & Delivery
- Psych
- Correctional Facilities
Now, I knew to expect a lot of mixed reactions to possibly working in a prison, but what actually happened blew my mind.
I started getting emails and calls from friends asking "Why on Earth would you want to be a nurse?" and "Cortney, you're such a good writer, why would you waste that and go into nursing?" ((Evidently they are just now catching on to the idea that I want to be a nurse, after I've spent the last six months talking about it...)) Alright, I kinda saw this one coming. No one is really too crazy about me becoming a nurse except my father, grandfather, & boyfriend, they're thrilled for me. I let it roll off my back. The thing that really got to me? When I logged on to AIM that night, I started getting hate IMs from FOUR different people, saying things like "You sick ****, why would you want to work around dying children, I hope you rot in hell!" and "I hope one of those loonies in the psych ward puts you out of your miserable existence". The brunt of it was regarding pediatric oncology, and how I am a sick, demented person for wanting to care for children with cancer. But you get the picture...
((Surprisingly enough, I still haven't gotten any comments about the Corrections thing!))
I understand that some people are never going to be supportive of my wanting to be a nurse, and I accept that, I'm not one to need everyone's approval before I do something that I feel is right. It was just those four people... The fact that four people I KNOW on a personal level feel that much HATE toward me for something I want to do to help care for people...
I don't know why I'm telling all of you this... Maybe I'm just wondering if you guys have faced the same emotional road blocks from people you thought loved you.
Thanks, guys.

You need to go to nursing school and do what YOU want to do. Friends are important but they do need to run your life. Only you are in control of your life! Good luck with school!

mmt4 · Sep 18, 2009

I still have a hard time understanding why so many people are reacting this way. Did any of you experience this much negativity, or something similar, when you started expressing an interest in nursing?

Wow that is unbelievable. They sound immature at best. Glad you are pruning them away - school is hard enough without the naysayers.

Way back the first time I was preparing for nursing school I really did not get negative comments. I went away to college. Most of my friends were other girls I met in my classes, or roommates that were trying to figure out their own majors. This was in the infancy of the internet, when if you wanted to use a computer, you went to the school lab, and if you wanted to make a phone call, the phone was right there mounted on the wall and you had to have a calling card, so my social circle completely changed and I lost contact with people that were not in school with me. When I got anything less than positive comments, it was the good old "you have As why are you going into Nursing" - which is a backhanded compliment. I think prospective teachers often get the same comment. The only other notable reaction was based on people's lack of understanding why someone would want to work in the sciences at all, since "business (accounting, IT, marketing) is the only way to make money and be successful" as if money is the only way to measure success.

Oh wait, there is one more, and how could I forget this b/c it is the most offensive of the comments - I had someone say that it was a bad idea to go into nursing because nurses are whiny and witchy (but they used the b not the w) and another say, well as long as you don't become one of those "witchy" nurses (again, sub the b for the w).

TiffanyS23 · Sep 19, 2009

wow...what jerks...seriously.

Why would someone make such awful remarks about you becoming a nurse...

just let it roll off your back and get rid of those unsupportive fools!!

2bsy2slp · Sep 19, 2009

Are you sure these people are your friends? These people have totally disrespected you, and I hate to be in your business, but its time for you to clean house!!! First of all, follow your dream and your desires. Life is way too short to let these dreamkillers step all over you and your goals. Do you!!! Do what makes you happy and to hell with those who disagree with your choices. I can honestly say that my friends and family have been terrific and very supportive of my career decision. That's how it should be. Good luck to you and remember follow whats in your heart, don't follow others!