Quote from jeepgirl
I am getting to the point where I hate just about everything. I just finished my first semester in my MSN program. Hated every minute of it. I'm working 3/4 time right now... going to part time in the spring. Hating every minute of it.
I just am hating everything about this whole work / school thing! I just want to stay at home with my family... but that is unreasonable. Is this normal to just want to give up? I have been in school for 5 plus years straight. I'm doing nurse educator and PNP, but I don't even want to work as a PNP after graduation right now... I don't want the responsibility, I just don't feel like it... I have, for some reason, gotten so turned off to the whole NP idea that I am dreading what I am doing. I really just want to teach when I get out - however, I want to go ahead and complete the NP incase I change my mind. Plus, if we needed money I might do better if I worked as a NP. Ugh. I also hate working (work in general - I'm ok once I get there, but the minute I go home I never, ever want to go back). I also feel like my work has been kind of jerking me around in reguards to my hours and my schedule.
Is this normal? I have been trying to think that I am just depressed and I'll get over it soon (we've had a lot of major life changes at home recently - I found out I am pregnant, and we have a new foster placement). Does anyone else feel like this while attending school and working? I feel like everything with school is so far away also... since I am doing a combined program, I won't be graduating until 2007! I feel like I am so stuck in what I am doing right now, and I don't want to do what it takes (completing all of that school) to get out of it. I feel sooo hopeless. :-(
Wow...let me get this straight: you have foster children, you are pregnant, you are working almost full time AND going to school part-time ?
I think as nurses, one of our most important jobs is teaching our patients about balance and then trying to instill it in our lives as well
. Unless you are on some mad rush to finish, slow down and enjoy some of the rewards of what you have earned. One of the benefits of nursing is you *can* work just whatever hours your budget will allow. If you are at a time in your life where you find yourself craving time with your family and it is a consistent craving, give yourself that time. School will be there when you get back. Look at your budget, figure out how much you need and want to work and then go from there.
After I delivered my daughter, I was diagnosed with peripartum cardiomyopathy. An ejection fraction of 25% completely forced me to slow down and realize that we are given times in our lives for certain reasons, and to not enjoy and appreciate them is spitting in the face of grace, you know ? The school will always be there. It is *ok* to cut back your hours and it is *ok* to take just one class at a time.
Hang in there...I didn't meant to discourage you at all, but more to give you permission that it is ok to not run life like the proverbial rat race.