I'm drowning and I hate everything!!!

[jeepgirl]

Ugh!

I am getting to the point where I hate just about everything. I just finished my first semester in my MSN program. Hated every minute of it. I'm working 3/4 time right now... going to part time in the spring. Hating every minute of it.

I just am hating everything about this whole work / school thing! I just want to stay at home with my family... but that is unreasonable. Is this normal to just want to give up? I have been in school for 5 plus years straight. I'm doing nurse educator and PNP, but I don't even want to work as a PNP after graduation right now... I don't want the responsibility, I just don't feel like it... I have, for some reason, gotten so turned off to the whole NP idea that I am dreading what I am doing. I really just want to teach when I get out - however, I want to go ahead and complete the NP incase I change my mind. Plus, if we needed money I might do better if I worked as a NP. Ugh. I also hate working (work in general - I'm ok once I get there, but the minute I go home I never, ever want to go back). I also feel like my work has been kind of jerking me around in reguards to my hours and my schedule.

Is this normal? I have been trying to think that I am just depressed and I'll get over it soon (we've had a lot of major life changes at home recently - I found out I am pregnant, and we have a new foster placement). Does anyone else feel like this while attending school and working? I feel like everything with school is so far away also... since I am doing a combined program, I won't be graduating until 2007! I feel like I am so stuck in what I am doing right now, and I don't want to do what it takes (completing all of that school) to get out of it. I feel sooo hopeless. :-(

[RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN]

I am so sorry jeepgirl, best wishes to you :kiss

[jeepgirl, LPN, NP]

I graduated in June, and will be starting an MSN program in January. However, for a while (probably 2 years) I will probably only take 2 or 3 courses, max, a year, and these are courses that you really don't need nursing experience to get through (statistics, research, epidemiology). But I agree with Suzanne that the clinical classes should be taken later.

Oldiebutgoodie

couldn't imagine taking clinical courses right now with all that is going on. i delayed taking any for over a year in my plan of study - Fall 2006.

jeepgirl

[imenid37]

Wow! You are really busy. I just finished the one course I was taking. I felt stressed. I work full-time (LDRP/NSY/GYN) and have a part-time side job too, doing infant hearing screens at another hospital. My 3 girls are teenagers. I am married to a man who behaves more like a 12 year old boy than the 42 year old man he is supposed to be. It is rough for me, but you are really overextended. I hope everything works out w/ you and the new little one on the way. I went back for my BSN right out of school in 1987 and finished in 1990. I was going to take 1-2 years and go for the MSN, but my daughter got really ill w/ JRA. I just couldn't have gone to school then, so here I am now. I am still younger than a lot of my classmates, at 40. You have a long life ahead. You don't have to be in the fast lane at all times. "Speeding" really is hazardous to your health. Take time to enjoy a little bit of life. I wish I had not overextended myself to do many of the things I did years ago. I would work all night and then clean the house all day. I would drive 50 miles on a couple of hours sleep to take my daughter to the rheumatologist, because it was "too hard" for my husband to take off work. Actually, he works for the gov't and didn't want to, but could have. As someone who has sacrificed their health (I have migraines and GI problems out the wazoo) to do it all, I'd encourage you to take care of yourself. If others are encouraging you to go to school, like your hubby, then don't just ask, expect him to help and hold him to it. You only have one life and one body. Take care of yourself. I truly wish you well. Happy Holidays! Enjoy your time off from school.

[kim00mik]

jeepgirl,

my heart goes out to you when i read your post. please take care of yourself... you're busy taking care of other people but YOU deserve to be happy too. i hope everything works out!

kim