Am I the only one who finds this disrespectful? - page 5

Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant,... Read More

  1. by   JessicRN
    Maybe there should be another thread started like why is it when ever a seasoned nurse makes a thread or comment that is in the least bit negative or funny every graduate nurse, student and nurse wannabe's is on them like a pack of hounds?.
    It is sorta like TV and radio. If you don't like what you are reading or watching or listening to TURN IT OFF. There are alot of TV shows and music that I find insulting and there are a lot of forums here that are distasteful yet the rest of america and nurses thrive on them. There are also a lot of decent forums here and a lot of decent TV shows and music that we can choose to watch.
    We need a forum to vent so we can continue to give good care and be good nurses. Alot of us do not have sympathetic family and friends or councellors who want to listen to us vent. Venting here is better then taking it out on the patient. You choose
  2. by   ERNP
    You know, where I work we don't even know the patient's insurance status when they are seen. As a matter of fact, the only time I print a face sheet is when I am trying to place a psych patient and I am being asked for information found only on the sheet.

    Some of the most ridiculous ER complaints come from well dressed, well spoken people who expect an instant cure for their ailments and don't want to be inconvenienced by time to get better.

    But for those other people..... even before running water was available people managed to clean themselves. Even the uneducated, poor population can wash. (I am not talking about in bonafide emergency circumstances, but often times these are planned visits for when they could get a ride.) If you don't want me to feign a near death experience when looking over your foot.... then wash the darn thing!! This applies for anything else you want looked over while you are visiting.
  3. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from JessicRN
    Maybe there should be another thread started like why is it when ever a seasoned nurse makes a thread or comment that is in the least bit negative or funny every graduate nurse, student and nurse wannabe's is on them like a pack of hounds?.
    Because then you would be accused of "eating our young". And that all old nurses are mean, evil. And we will always be considered to be in the wrong.
  4. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from SharonH, RN
    I believe you when you say that it is their attitude that bothers you and others. They're just not humble enough, are they? After all if you're on Medicaid or god forbid, uninsured, you darn well should be humble.....and apologetic. I'm talking hat in hand, eyes down, thank you for everything you do humble. After all, people on welfare are being supported by our tax dollars. That means that technically we own them and they should act accordingly. Right?
    During the times in my life, that I have had to seek healthcare when unisured...you're darn tooting, I was hat in hand, apologetic for seeking care that monetariliy came out of someone else's pocket. As far as I am was considered they DID own me. And I was fine with that because I was being a burden and was charity to them. If one doesn't like it, refuse the charity and deal.

    I'm sorry, but no one in this world OWES anyone anything except G-d. You are born and die and the rest you work for. Do I treat poor patients in better than rich ones....No, but I also do not know the difference...and and happy to keep it that way.

    But life is not fair and neither is medicine/nursing. We will try are best to be generous of heart but it is understandable when we occasionally fail.
  5. by   rn/writer
    We had to be on assistance for a time when my husband was out of work. I was neither ashamed nor arrogant. We had paid into the system for years and needed the safety net till the job situation improved. I didn't feel entitled so much as extremely relieved and grateful that such a resource allowed me to feed my children and keep a roof over their heads.

    One of the things I learned is that poverty is a mindset. You can be poor in material things but rich in character, behavior and love. Conversely, money in the bank doesn't guarantee a thing but the checks you write. Poverty of spirit has more to do with your values and your upbringing than the amount of cash you can lay your hands on.

    In venting, I try to stick to behavior rather than refer to other factors. But when that behavior has a direct correlation with those factors or when the patients themselves try to use some other factor as an excuse, seems unrealistic and unfair to sweep that under the rug.

    Ugly behavior, shallow values, self-centered and even infantile expectations, abusive language, threatening words or gestures, blatant dishonesty and manipulation--these all raise the hairs on the back of my neck whether they are directed at me or I see them being used against someone else.

    No member of any group of society should be judged simply because they are a part of that group. And no member of any group should expect to be let off the hook for that reason either.
  6. by   babyktchr
    My two cents here. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the "rules" thread. Its nothing that I haven't thought of, and certainly something that I haven't said before. Nice, actually, to know that you really aren't alone in your frustrations. Humor is necessary in this life, and although there was no intention of harm, I am sure that some took the posts as derrogatory. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I agree that if it is offensive to you, then don't continue to read it. Certainly there are other posts that will interest you.

    Medicaid certainly rubs the wrong way. I have fallen victim to many of the gripes described here...and also feel for those who truly need it and find it hard to get or hard to use because of a stigma attached by society. The certainly are those who NEED assistance. There are most definitely those who DON'T, and USE the system as a form of income.

    I have also been treated badly by those with insurance and without. Rudeness is universal, and doesn't depend on income status.

    I find that my tolerance for STUPID has lessened in the past few years...and I guess this is where I find the humor in the "rules" thread. There are those that are oblivious to the concept of a bath, or that socks can be washed...and there are rules of crowd control for patient safety (and nurse safety). I know in our re-vamping of our welcome letter to prospective parents we howled over our "never to be published" set of rules. Again...catharsis.

    I don't know what the right and wrong of it is here. I do know that this forum allows for us in the trenches to see that you really aren't alone.....and a bit of venting reallly can help bring you right again. I don't doubt for a minute that each and everyone of you are great clinicians and caregivers.

    Party on Wayne, Party on Garth......................
  7. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    It is sorta like TV and radio. If you don't like what you are reading or watching or listening to TURN IT OFF. There are alot of TV shows and music that I find insulting and there are a lot of forums here that are distasteful yet the rest of america and nurses thrive on them.
    Amen.

    And i'm finding it highly ironic how some are bringing up the judgment of others' behavior and character on those 'vent'/'rules' threads, yet i see plenty of judgments made here of other nurses and their character, almost to the point of-holier-than-thou.
  8. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from caroladybelle
    Because then you would be accused of "eating our young". And that all old nurses are mean, evil. And we will always be considered to be in the wrong.
    Yep, i'm definitely not worthy, and i'm not even old
  9. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from caroladybelle
    because then you would be accused of "eating our young". and that all old nurses are mean, evil. and we will always be considered to be in the wrong.
    [font="comic sans ms"]i suspect you're being sarcastic, but it sure seems that way on this board sometimes!
  10. by   33-weeker
    - found this article. i don't agree with everything, and i don't see how you can garnish a father's wages if you don't know who he is (tad of humor here), but it is a thought-provoking article nonetheless.

    http://www.larryelder.com/welfare/welfare.htm


    for the record, i don't have a problem with families/patients in need getting assistance - especially the ones who have paid into the system and have fallen on hard times. that is what the system was orriginally designed for. it's the single moms i see so often in ob having baby after baby at the state's expense that bother me.
  11. by   mysticalwaters1
    Quote from klone
    Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant, uneducated or silly things patients or patients' families say or do. I've been hanging around this board for a couple years, and these threads are a regularly occurring thing.

    I haven't said anything in these threads, instead I just close the thread and move on. But whenever I read them, I can't help but feel how disrespectful these threads seem. I understand people are "blowing off steam" and all that, but I don't know. It still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.

    These threads often get SO big, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.
    I understand feeling the way you do but I really feel a lot of it is to vent and honestly it is quite funny. You really do have to joke about it. Now some posts can be too much and downright nasty. I think many of us understand we are health care professionals and not every pt knows all the stuff we do. I hear fellow nurses all the time make comments here and there it is funny but would never outright in front of a pt ridicule them. Some I think do get cynical probably they see the same thing over and over again. But I really feel it's just a coping mechanism and any other person does the same thing in there jobs for people not aware of their specialty.
  12. by   ann945n
    Quote from JessicRN
    Maybe there should be another thread started like why is it when ever a seasoned nurse makes a thread or comment that is in the least bit negative or funny every graduate nurse, student and nurse wannabe's is on them like a pack of hounds?.
    It is sorta like TV and radio. If you don't like what you are reading or watching or listening to TURN IT OFF. There are alot of TV shows and music that I find insulting and there are a lot of forums here that are distasteful yet the rest of america and nurses thrive on them. There are also a lot of decent forums here and a lot of decent TV shows and music that we can choose to watch.
    We need a forum to vent so we can continue to give good care and be good nurses. Alot of us do not have sympathetic family and friends or councellors who want to listen to us vent. Venting here is better then taking it out on the patient. You choose
    awww now lets not attack student nurses, some of us feel the same as you.
  13. by   nursejenrnc
    Perhaps if you find these threads annoying or disrespectful, you would do best to just avoid them... I am OB nurse of 14 years and have seen wonderful and terrible, invigorating and frightening things, most nurses have. If we do not blow off steam, we will explode! It is beneficial to be able to vent to those who really understand where you come from! I do whole heartedly feel that we ARE able to mask these opinions and feelings, they may not even be truely the way we feel, just an attempt to use humor to deal with otherwise very difficult situations. I have consistantly gotten the highest reviews from peers, management and YES, patients and families! I have returning patients request me, and tell friends to request me. I have files and files full of thank you notes, pictures of babies at 1 year old, etc... Not trying to brag, just know that I enjoy these "disrespectful" threads as much if not more than anyone else, I post comments almost daily, I feel fortunate to have found this site! If I had trouble masking my "opinions" I don't think I'd be getting rave reviews. If anything I post offends you, I apologize, but will continue to post, for me it is therapy, I would never question your choices for dealing with stress, please don't question ours!

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