Am I the only one who finds this disrespectful?

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 30, 2006

because then you would be accused of "eating our young". and that all old nurses are mean, evil. and we will always be considered to be in the wrong.

i suspect you're being sarcastic, but it sure seems that way on this board sometimes!

33-weeker · Oct 30, 2006

- found this article. i don't agree with everything, and i don't see how you can garnish a father's wages if you don't know who he is (tad of humor here), but it is a thought-provoking article nonetheless.

http://www.larryelder.com/welfare/welfare.htm

for the record, i don't have a problem with families/patients in need getting assistance - especially the ones who have paid into the system and have fallen on hard times. that is what the system was orriginally designed for. it's the single moms i see so often in ob having baby after baby at the state's expense that bother me.

mysticalwaters1 · Oct 30, 2006

Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant, uneducated or silly things patients or patients' families say or do. I've been hanging around this board for a couple years, and these threads are a regularly occurring thing.
I haven't said anything in these threads, instead I just close the thread and move on. But whenever I read them, I can't help but feel how disrespectful these threads seem. I understand people are "blowing off steam" and all that, but I don't know. It still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.
These threads often get SO big, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.

I understand feeling the way you do but I really feel a lot of it is to vent and honestly it is quite funny. You really do have to joke about it. Now some posts can be too much and downright nasty. I think many of us understand we are health care professionals and not every pt knows all the stuff we do. I hear fellow nurses all the time make comments here and there it is funny but would never outright in front of a pt ridicule them. Some I think do get cynical probably they see the same thing over and over again. But I really feel it's just a coping mechanism and any other person does the same thing in there jobs for people not aware of their specialty.

ann945n, RN · Oct 30, 2006

Maybe there should be another thread started like why is it when ever a seasoned nurse makes a thread or comment that is in the least bit negative or funny every graduate nurse, student and nurse wannabe's is on them like a pack of hounds?.
It is sorta like TV and radio. If you don't like what you are reading or watching or listening to TURN IT OFF. There are alot of TV shows and music that I find insulting and there are a lot of forums here that are distasteful yet the rest of america and nurses thrive on them. There are also a lot of decent forums here and a lot of decent TV shows and music that we can choose to watch.
We need a forum to vent so we can continue to give good care and be good nurses. Alot of us do not have sympathetic family and friends or councellors who want to listen to us vent. Venting here is better then taking it out on the patient. You choose

awww now lets not attack student nurses, some of us feel the same as you.

nursejenrnc · Oct 30, 2006

Perhaps if you find these threads annoying or disrespectful, you would do best to just avoid them... I am OB nurse of 14 years and have seen wonderful and terrible, invigorating and frightening things, most nurses have. If we do not blow off steam, we will explode! It is beneficial to be able to vent to those who really understand where you come from! I do whole heartedly feel that we ARE able to mask these opinions and feelings, they may not even be truely the way we feel, just an attempt to use humor to deal with otherwise very difficult situations. I have consistantly gotten the highest reviews from peers, management and YES, patients and families! I have returning patients request me, and tell friends to request me. I have files and files full of thank you notes, pictures of babies at 1 year old, etc... Not trying to brag, just know that I enjoy these "disrespectful" threads as much if not more than anyone else, I post comments almost daily, I feel fortunate to have found this site! If I had trouble masking my "opinions" I don't think I'd be getting rave reviews. If anything I post offends you, I apologize, but will continue to post, for me it is therapy, I would never question your choices for dealing with stress, please don't question ours!

destiny5 · Oct 30, 2006

So... next time I have a patient looking at several more weeks as an inpatient having I&Ds on a necrotic stump who wants a me to find her a cab ride so she can go shopping before her food stamps expire in 2 days (even though she's getting every nutritional requirement met while she's in the hospital) I need to jump through the hoops to *1)get the doctor to write her a release so she can leave 2)talk social services into getting her the voucher 3)time her meds so she gets them all before or after the shopping spree 4)try to take care of my other patients while doing it* in order to be a patient advocate? I don't think so Being a patient advocate means doing everything I can to meet the needs of my patient. Doing accuchecks, maintaing accurate I&Os, pain meds so she's able to get up with PT, helping her deal with the loss of a limb... those are things I'm happy to do.

I'ts nice to read that you have the patients best interest at heart now that someones called you on it. Seems a little fishy to me.

Also, perhaps she has children or mouths to feed once she is released or how about while she is in the hospital. Can they survive on her TPN or tube feedings as well? Sometimes, patients are worried about more than themselves. Sometimes they have lives---and others to care for even if they do have a necrotic stump.-- Think about that next time you dismiss a patient as a whining unreasonable "welfare" case. Maybe she was thinking of someone else at the time. Let's be compassionate as nurses and not look merely at the surface but try to get at the root of the problem. It's really hard to do though with tunnel vision and prejudice.

destiny5 · Oct 30, 2006

More power to you! But for all the judgemental nurses out there, not everyone is so strong. I only get WIC, which isn't "welfare" or "charity". My husband works full time at a desk job-at a top hospital no less! And we can't afford to feed our kids enough quality food without WIC. So we take since we qualify. And when I ran into the rude grocery store clerk, I ran home and cried. I broke down in front of the kids in the car, probably scaring them and scarring them much more than missing breakfast a few days a week would. So now I go to the special, segregated, WIC store where I get treated like a human being. Have you ever humiliated someone this way? I bet you have without even knowing it.

I'm sorry that you & your family were traumatized. I guess for me what gets me through it is the thought of the alternative which is "hungry children". It may have been tough for you but I believe it will get easier. Go back & stand your ground. But even if you don't, teach your children about kindness and compassion-- so that will treat people well when they get older. That's what I do.:icon_hug:

Oh, & yes I know that I've hurt others unintentionally and sometimes intentionally (unfortunately). All I can do is apologize sincerely and try to do better next time.

pacifica · Oct 30, 2006

i don't treat people any differently just beacuse they are on public assistance. but when any patient is rude to me, it is hard to suck it up and remain professional. it's harder to do when i know my tax dollars are going to help them... and even harder when it is obvious that they are abusing the system.

how do you know who is abusing the system? do you know every detail of your patients' lives, enough to know their history of abuse, neglect, illness, poverty, lack of education and other factors which have led to their being on public assistance? you are making judgements on your patients' lives based on whether they show you sufficient "gratitude" or not, when you should be focused on providing quality care to them.

if you have a problem with paying taxes to support social programs, take it up with your senator or representative. please don't take it out on patients.

by the way, i think wealthy people should be grateful to me for having the money to pay for such excellent health care because my taxes in this day and age go to a system that provides corporate welfare and extensive tax breaks for the rich while deserving social programs are cut to pieces.

kris :redbeathe

pacifica · Oct 30, 2006

Maybe there should be another thread started like why is it when ever a seasoned nurse makes a thread or comment that is in the least bit negative or funny every graduate nurse, student and nurse wannabe's is on them like a pack of hounds?.

I've seen several seasoned nurses on this thread who agree with the OP, so I think it is more than us students, GNs and "wannabes" who are uncomfortable with the tone of some of the "venting" posts.

pacifica · Oct 30, 2006

We had to be on assistance for a time when my husband was out of work. I was neither ashamed nor arrogant. We had paid into the system for years and needed the safety net till the job situation improved. I didn't feel entitled so much as extremely relieved and grateful that such a resource allowed me to feed my children and keep a roof over their heads.
One of the things I learned is that poverty is a mindset. You can be poor in material things but rich in character, behavior and love. Conversely, money in the bank doesn't guarantee a thing but the checks you write. Poverty of spirit has more to do with your values and your upbringing than the amount of cash you can lay your hands on.
In venting, I try to stick to behavior rather than refer to other factors. But when that behavior has a direct correlation with those factors or when the patients themselves try to use some other factor as an excuse, seems unrealistic and unfair to sweep that under the rug.
Ugly behavior, shallow values, self-centered and even infantile expectations, abusive language, threatening words or gestures, blatant dishonesty and manipulation--these all raise the hairs on the back of my neck whether they are directed at me or I see them being used against someone else.
No member of any group of society should be judged simply because they are a part of that group. And no member of any group should expect to be let off the hook for that reason either.

:yeahthat:

Brilliant posting. Something for those of us on all sides of this issue to think about.

Kris:redbeathe

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Oct 30, 2006

Hmmm...I've just read the first two pages of this so far. I see your point. LOL maybe I took a comment personally cause with my 2nd child, I kept going into the hospital in labor or what I though was good enough labor and was sent home, twice before my water finally broke on day 3 of a latent labor (not sure on the correct termage). When I was laboring for those tow days at home...I insisted it was the big thing...it was time...it was it. My doc was called ( a few times and was the one telling me to get checked) Now at that time I never new about allnurses and wish I had...lol. I read the OB threads since I've been in a constant state of pregnancy for the last 2-3 yrs and pick up on the OB stuff.

As far and these type of threads..I think they are universal venting. We all need a place to blow off steam and laugh about things. I don't think any one of us would say what we say here to pts.

It might be insulting at times, but writing it here is a lot better than banging your head against a wall for the hundreth time after dealing with some of the crazy things like a lactose intolerant who can only eat ice cream and milk or a person allergic to water buy can eat ice chips.

nurse_atnite · Oct 30, 2006

As many of you have said before me......these threads aren't meant as disrespectful.....they are just used as a means of letting off steam. I don't even need to reply many times, I just know that I am not the only one who deals with all of this "stuff" and it makes me feel better. I can laugh instead of being angry at the human race.