Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

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This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.

I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."

He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"

As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated! speechless-smiley-040.gif

Of course he's not a nurse! :devil:

Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!

"I think my fallopian tube is blocked."

Reminds me of sending a new tech to supply asking for 15you feet of fallopian tubing. He came back three hours later with a letter from the DON telling us to stop doing that. I still want to know how many people he had to see before he got to her!

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Specializes in Recovery (PACU)-11 yrs, General-13yrs.

My Mum is neither a SO or a non-nurse, but rather a 79yr old ex RN and was telling me about my 4yr old nephew's hospitalisation for ebola virus. Seeing as she's been a bit emotionally fragile lately I let it go. Turns out it was adenovirus :uhoh3:

Just as well, I'd be less than impressed if there was ebola in Australia & the government chose not to tell us :D

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Reminds me of sending a new tech to supply asking for 15you feet of fallopian tubing. He came back three hours later with a letter from the DON telling us to stop doing that. I still want to know how many people he had to see before he got to her!

:lol2::lol2::lol2::yeah::yeah: OMG I think I just woke up the cat!

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Specializes in LTC, OB/GYN, Primary Care.

My boyfriend always asks me basic medical questions ie: whats an EKG for (when he went to the hospital) is this a high BP reading (for his mom) can I take half my allergy medication since it costs so much? Then once I give him the answer he immediately consults someone else!(who always says the same thing as me!) Because I'm "just an LPN"! No matter how many times I tell him i administer dangerous medications can inject things into ppl and I can start IVs he still thinks I "wipe old butt" all day. An RN however would be qualified...arrrggg!

I was also serious asked by someone who I went to school with (who has a Bachelors degree!!) Oh your an LPN? Did you go to school for that? ohhh cool how long a couple weeks?? No I think your thinking of a nurse aid dear! Nice to know that the general public discounts my year of busting my butt in school!

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I was telling my boyfriend a story about a patient with prostate cancer, and he said, "Well what if I had it?"...I said joking around (he is 25 by the way) "I don't know, you want me to check you?"...he says "Oh god YES, THANK YOU!!" and looks at me as if he is ready to be checked...

I said..."you have no idea that checking you would involve sticking my finger up your ass do you..."

haha.

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The BF and I are settling into bed. he tickles my arm. I giggle and say, "stay out of my antecubital Fossa." To which, he responds, "Quit making up dinosaurs!"

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My boyfriend always asks me basic medical questions ie: whats an EKG for (when he went to the hospital) is this a high BP reading (for his mom) can I take half my allergy medication since it costs so much? Then once I give him the answer he immediately consults someone else!(who always says the same thing as me!) Because I'm "just an LPN"! No matter how many times I tell him i administer dangerous medications can inject things into ppl and I can start IVs he still thinks I "wipe old butt" all day. An RN however would be qualified...arrrggg!

I was also serious asked by someone who I went to school with (who has a Bachelors degree!!) Oh your an LPN? Did you go to school for that? ohhh cool how long a couple weeks?? No I think your thinking of a nurse aid dear! Nice to know that the general public discounts my year of busting my butt in school!

My DH made the mistake of asking if, when I got done with school would I be a "real nurse.". I was an LPN at the time studying for my RN. When I said "yes I AM a nurse," he said, "Yeah but you'll have a license and stuff then.". Needless to say he was sorry he asked!

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"My DH made the mistake of asking if, when I got done with school would I be a "real nurse.". I was an LPN at the time studying for my RN. When I said "yes I AM a nurse," he said, "Yeah but you'll have a license and stuff then.". Needless to say he was sorry he asked!"

What did he think you had now - a learner's permit?

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Specializes in Medical Surgical/Addiction/Mental Health.

My partner and I were discussing Pancreatic Cancer. He said, “If they remove the pancreas, then that would remove the cancer…I don’t understand why MD’s don’t do that

I don’t understand why either :rolleyes::rolleyes:

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My partner and I were discussing Pancreatic Cancer. He said, "If they remove the pancreas, then that would remove the cancer...I don't understand why MD's don't do that"

I don't understand why either :rolleyes::rolleyes:

LOL really? It's that simple? It's a shame none of my post-Whipple patients met your partner before they went in for treatment...

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Specializes in Medical.
My partner and I were discussing Pancreatic Cancer. He said, "If they remove the pancreas, then that would remove the cancer...I don't understand why MD's don't do that

I don't understand why either :rolleyes::rolleyes:

I wonder if this approach would be of use for treating cardiac cancers? You know, sometimes the clearest insights come from outside.

And sometimes people have no idea what they're talking about!

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Specializes in Medical Surgical/Addiction/Mental Health.

"LOL really? It's that simple? It's a shame none of my post-Whipple patients met your partner before they went in for treatment..."

"I wonder if this approach would be of use for treating cardiac cancers? You know, sometimes the clearest insights come from outside.

And sometimes people have no idea what they're talking about!"

LOL...you two are funny! Thanks...I needed a good laugh tonight!

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