Stupid things that nurses say

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I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

Patient: "This taste horrible"

Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)

Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"

Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.:o( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.:nono:

I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!

:thankya:

Specializes in Pediatric Cardiology.

i say this to patients all the time. usually they understand what i mean. i hope i have never offended anyone!

in regards to this post: "

back in the olden days when i was a student, i took a patient to her car, via wheelchair. thinking she'd understand what i meant, i said, "i hope i never see you again." i meant i hoped everything would go well and she'd not need the hospital again. she took it personally and thought i was just being plain rude!

ack! never assume abstract thinking is possible!"

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I would.....about every two years be stupid enough to ask,When are you due? :D They weren't pregnant.:eek:
Omg I did that once. The woman was so skinny but her belly was huge, rounded and cute( looked pregnant), she said I just have a health condition I'm not pregnant.....I was so embarrassed....ever since, even if it hits me in the face....I never ask any one, when are you due? Unless, they bring it up.
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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

I was in the pre-op holding area one night during a particularly heavy run of orthopaedic traumas. The residents were EXTREMELY tired after working in the OR all day, and had many more consults to do in the ED. An elderly, confused lady with a hip fracture came into the holding area, and the orthopods planned to do a Gamma Nail. Both sons were with her in pre-op and were waffling about whether or not surgery was the best option for Mom. After an hour or so of the residents calmly discussing the pros and cons of surgery, more waffling from the sons, and anesthesia giving their opinions/assessments, the sons could NOT come to an agreement. Finally, the junior resident says, "We are all prepared to nail your Mom whenever you give us the go-ahead. Just let us know. We'll be glad to do it."

Errr...

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Specializes in LTC and School Health.
My pt.: "Oh you're a student, how nice. Do you know what you might want to specialize in?"

Me (as a 1st year RN student): "Well, I'm thinking oncology. Med Surg is so depressing!"

My pt.: "Med Surg is depressing?!!!!! What, people suffering from cancer isn't depressing to you?!"

Me: "Um, no, um, I mean, yes. It's just that I keep treating patients who are obese, have COPD from smoking decades, have renal failure from being out of control diabetics, & so on. I'd rather treat others who have a desire to fight to live, which is the case with many Dx with cancer because it strikes many unexpectedly. Many in Med Surg seem not to care about themselves. They let themselves fall apart."

I wanted to go back in time to choose my words more wisely. The worse thing was that she had told me earlier that she misses visiting her best friend who's undergoing chemo. This particular pt. was overweight & suffering from conditions beyond her control. Her very obese daughter was in the room too. I couldn't wait to excuse myself out of the room!

Luckily, I made up for it later by providing her excellent education on her condition. I taught her things she said no one had ever taken the time to explain to her. I was so good, I could hardly believe it! She was very grateful. I just wish her daughter had witnessed that, so I could feel like I saved some face.

Too cute. On another note: not all cancer patients want to live. Some of them will smoke til they die or do the very things that helped them to get cancer. Could be depressing as well.....

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
"We are all prepared to nail your Mom whenever you give us the go-ahead. Just let us know. We'll be glad to do it."

Now that kind of service you can't get at just any hospital. Talk about a bedside manner! ;)

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This happened when I was still a new nurse, not off orientation long. I had an Indian patient, and I couldn't pronounce her name. I had to call the doctor redarding her condition, but I didn't realize I couldn't say her name until I had the doctor on the phone. So not even thinking, I said "Hi doctor I'm calling about your little Indian patient." LOL! Thankfully the doctor knew who I was talking about!! But the other 2 nurses who heard me say that couldn't quit laughing! I felt sooo stupid the rest of the night!

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I almost forgot about this one. I was scheduled to have surgery and I had to go have pretesting done. Everything was done in this big room with other patients in it as well. I was sitting there about to get my blood drawn, when a nurse came in pushing another patient in a wheelchair. It was very clear that the patient didn't have any legs. So the nurse asked her "Can you step up on the scale?" The patient just said "Nope." I had to hold in my laughter until I left!!

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Specializes in ICU.
Oh, I wouldn't say that was the most stupid thing ever......lots of nurses let things slip past their filters that are downright offensive.

Of course, I would never say anything like this to a patient's granddaughter:

DGD to nurse: "Grandpa's not doing very well tonight. His doctors told me he's at death's door."

Nurse: "I'm sure sorry. Hope they can pull him through."

:o

I loled.

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I've posted this one before, but it still makes me laugh.

A new student was watching WC change a vac dressing for a fresh amputee. The nurse asked if she had any more questions, and she said "Wellll, she's got this... wound in her perineal area.... I don't know how to describe it as anything but... coral?" (like the sea creatures) Pt had external hemorrhoids :lol2:

I was taking care of an alcoholic cirrhosis geri pt, in report was told L mastectomy. So for 2 weeks, she'd only been getting bp, everything in R arm. The woman had two natural breasts, and no hx. The RN was visibly angry that I figured that one out.

Her ascites was pretty severe, with umbilical hernia. When being wheeled down for ultrasound, she told the intern "I can't wait to see the baby." Baby? "Yeah girl, can't you tell I'm 11 months pregnant?!" The staff thought the pt was confused, and she found the fact that she could say whatever she wanted hilarious

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I just spit my entire Coffee all over my IPAD it came out even through my nostrils.... LMAO........okay... I'm alright.....LOL...Oh! goodness....

HAHAHA!!!! 10 minutes later and I still cannot stop laughing. Thanks for sharing!!!!!

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Specializes in Renal; NICU.

1.This one is on one of the ER Docs where I work. End of January, I was in the ER for a lg perineal abscess, draining plus a rather lg hot/red area of cellulitis, all wrongly treated for two weeks. After waiting on the stretcher for 3 hours, the doc finally got me into an exam room. Now I am a lg woman and have been married but never heard these words when the covers were pulled back, "Wow! Now that's impressive"!

He was immediately stunned at his reaction, but the nurse and I were immediately hysterical!!! We all had a good laugh as they rushed me to pre-op!!! He knew I worked there too, but glad it's not the ER.

2. NICU nurse, meeting the father for the new admission. Two men (20's-30's) and an older gentleman, all concerned but beaming. Stupid me looked at the older man and said "Is this your first grandbaby"?...wait for it...

"No, he's my third SON! These are his brothers, Chip and Dale" (names chg'd, of course).

Now, I just say who's the new daddy, but even that can backfire if the baby-daddy is in the wind and the new BF is present. Oh the parental unit/baby world today!!!

**These posts have made me hysterical!!! Thanks loads!**

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Specializes in Ambulatory Surgery, Ophthalmology, Tele.
In our hospital we keep specimen cups for pee on the wall in a cupboard, so to speak...I was so tired one day, I told the pt, "If you go in the bathroom you can pee on the wall.""I mean pee on a cup on the wall.""I mean get a cup off the wall and pee in it."lol it was a rough day.
:lol2: :yeah: I needed a laugh, thanks. All of these posts are making me laugh out loud and my son keeps wondering why I am laughing but I can't tell him these stories. :eek: The other day it was crazy busy and I had a patient who needed a last minute hibiclens shower and all our CNAs were sent home for the day. Anyways, she was npo for a procedure. When I was about to leave her room to do a bunch of other stuff I was behind on (Yes, "a bunch of other stuff" is considered medical terminology :p. Soorry, I am tired). There was a straw on my cart and I went to give it to the patient's son and I started to say "Here is a straw in case she needs it" but then I thought, duh! she's npo and going to ICU afterwards. :bugeyes:
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