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Stupid things that nurses say

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OnlybyHisgraceRN is a ASN, RN and specializes in LTC and School Health.

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schroeders_piano has 15 years experience.

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I used to always say, "You're going to feel a little prick" whenever I drew blood or started an IV. I didn't realize what I had been saying until a 90 year old woman looked at me and said, "Honey,don't beat yourself up. If what they say about a man's shoe size is correct then bring it on. I've been a widow for 30 years."

After that I started saying, "You're going to fill a stick."

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I walk into my patient's room.

Me: "Something smells good in here. Did someone bring you Bojangles?"

Patient and family break into peals of laughter.

Patient looks at me sheepishly: "I farted..."

Lol *dead*

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This happened when I was still a new nurse, not off orientation long. I had an Indian patient, and I couldn't pronounce her name. I had to call the doctor redarding her condition, but I didn't realize I couldn't say her name until I had the doctor on the phone. So not even thinking, I said "Hi doctor I'm calling about your little Indian patient." LOL! Thankfully the doctor knew who I was talking about!! But the other 2 nurses who heard me say that couldn't quit laughing! I felt sooo stupid the rest of the night!

hahahaha! sorry cant stop laughing too....

thanks for the laugh!!!! =)

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GitanoRN has 48 years experience as a BSN, MSN, RN and specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

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this happened when i was still a new nurse, not off orientation long. i had an indian patient, and i couldn't pronounce her name. i had to call the doctor redarding her condition, but i didn't realize i couldn't say her name until i had the doctor on the phone. so not even thinking, i said "hi doctor i'm calling about your little indian patient." lol! thankfully the doctor knew who i was talking about!! but the other 2 nurses who heard me say that couldn't quit laughing! i felt sooo stupid the rest of the night!

every time i need i laugh read your post... thank you for posting it...aloha~:D

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When I worked as an aide at the hospital, I had a 20 something male pt who the doctor wanted very strict I+O and wanted a Foley.

Understandably, he was leery of having a Foley inserted, so the doc ordered a condom catheter. Our floor stock was just not working... Frankly, he was too small for them to stay on.

This guy was very rude and demanding. Yelling at me, the nurse. Badmouthing me in front of his visitors. When I came in with a different catheter to try, he berated me for taking too long. I replied (right in front of his friends) "I'm sorry. I had to go to the pediatric unit to find one that will fit you."

I think this is my favorite story of all time!

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When I worked as an aide at the hospital, I had a 20 something male pt who the doctor wanted very strict I+O and wanted a Foley.

Understandably, he was leery of having a Foley inserted, so the doc ordered a condom catheter. Our floor stock was just not working... Frankly, he was too small for them to stay on.

This guy was very rude and demanding. Yelling at me, the nurse. Badmouthing me in front of his visitors. When I came in with a different catheter to try, he berated me for taking too long. I replied (right in front of his friends) "I'm sorry. I had to go to the pediatric unit to find one that will fit you."

Laughed out loud

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GitanoRN has 48 years experience as a BSN, MSN, RN and specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

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laughed out loud

i agree lol

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turnforthenurse has 7 years experience as a MSN, NP and specializes in ER, progressive care.

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When I worked as an aide at the hospital, I had a 20 something male pt who the doctor wanted very strict I+O and wanted a Foley.

Understandably, he was leery of having a Foley inserted, so the doc ordered a condom catheter. Our floor stock was just not working... Frankly, he was too small for them to stay on.

This guy was very rude and demanding. Yelling at me, the nurse. Badmouthing me in front of his visitors. When I came in with a different catheter to try, he berated me for taking too long. I replied (right in front of his friends) "I'm sorry. I had to go to the pediatric unit to find one that will fit you."

:rotfl::yeah:

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GitanoRN has 48 years experience as a BSN, MSN, RN and specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

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i used to always say, "you're going to feel a little prick" whenever i drew blood or started an iv. i didn't realize what i had been saying until a 90 year old woman looked at me and said, "honey,don't beat yourself up. if what they say about a man's shoe size is correct then bring it on. i've been a widow for 30 years."

after that i started saying, "you're going to fill a stick."

another good one...:yelclap:

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AICU RN specializes in ICU.

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The other night it was the end of my shift (6 AM) and it seemed like the shift would never end. I grabbed an NA to help me turn my patient who was requesting to be repositioned. He also happened to be a prisoner. We turn him and I notice that the pillows I had him propped on had gotten rather flat.

Me: "Let's get these pillows out from behind you. They look like they've done their time :o."

I turned bright red, finished what I needed to do and got out of there hoping no one had noticed. Of course, the NA who was with me will never let me live it down.

I've never used that phrase to describe pillows and don't know how it managed to slip out that time....

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Oh the many I have, Here are a few...

As a CNA I had a walkie-talkie pt that I assisted to get ready to shower. At this particular hospital we had two-bed rooms with only two pt showers located at either end of the hall. last I saw this pt, he was walking into the shower room with a Johnnie on. Cut to a few hours later I am looking for him to do vitals. Couldn't find him in his room or the hallway. Walk into the patient/family patio where there is a physical therapist and a student working on a patient and a man sitting in the recliner watching t.v.

Me 'are you so-n-so?'

Pt: 'yes'

Me 'oh! you look different with your clothes on!' *blush* 'Oh'

As a new R.N assessing a pt with a high blood pressure, mentor suggests that I take the B.P. manually in both arms for comparison to which I reply 'at the same time?' *slap*

Again, as a new R.N working nights, had a terrible night with 3 out of my 5 pt assignment having high bp's, one with hypotension and a confused pt. Called the doctor (who is notoriuous for not giving a med or txment if it is suggested to him - it has to be his 'idea') multiple times during the shift for something to bring the bp down in one of my pts and he refused to give me a new order. (not sure his reasoning). Anyway, confused pt falls, and as I am doing the paperwork, not 1 hr later the pt with hypertension (190's/90-100) seizes and we had to call rapid response as she stopped breathing for a few minutes. Low-and-behold the Dr. finally orders an antihypertensive. Cut to me giving report about my horrendous night: 'And you know how it is with Dr. z! Its like pulling teeth to get what you need out of him!' cue physician walking by...D'oh!

Okay last one! 4 years later working in ICU with a LOL who is Full Code with a feeding tube and Prone to dysphagia. Pt wanted something to drink andI got permission fromthe M.D to give her a wet but VERY wrung out sponge stick to wet her mouth. Well it got to the point where we were doing it to wet her mouth every two minutes and she was beginning to cough! So I kindly informed her that we would only be doing in sponges every 30 min to 1 hr. I had created a monster! Pt would ring, of course I had informed everyone of the plan, if anyone said no to her she would ring while you were in the room for a second opinion! after all day of dealing with the pt like this, I went into the room and very loudly proclaimed 'you're goingto die if I give you another sponge!' (meaning she was going to aspirate), totally came out wrong!

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I have a terrible habit of saying "That drives me CRAZY!" Since I work in mental health, this is NOT the best thing to say!

Something stupid I've had to do - I have a tattoo on my wrist. Our admin goes back and forth between thinking they are ok to show and not ok to show. When we are on the "not ok" kick, I cover it with a bandaid or a piece of coban. EVERY single time I do this I get asked "are you a cutter?" by a client.

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