Sometimes it's impossible not to giggle... - page 2
I'm a psych nurse in an acute care psychiatric hospital. Nothing seems to phase me anymore when it comes to psychosis. Just when I think I've heard it all, a patient will do or say something so... Read More
Nov 19, '12The other day, I was assisting one of the female residents down to the afternoon social. As she walked by one of the gentleman resident's room, she hollered out, "Hi Harry!" Naturally, this resident did not even look up from the paper he was reading because "Harry" is not his name! As we moved past the room, the female resident looked at me and said, "You know, he takes me for granted!" I had all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing!!
Nov 19, '12In my psych rotation, when doing my assesment on a lady, I asked whey she had set fire to her apartment...her answer "I needed to redecorate...."
Nov 19, '12Many years ago I was the activities director for an assisted living community that had a dementia unit. I made a new friend (Mr. P) on that unit, and he loved to go on the van rides around town. Every time I would go up to the unit, he would yell "Ollie! Ollie! Are we going on a van ride today?" ("Ollie" is nowhere close to my real name - he came up with it out of nowhere.) We tried to tell him my real name - it wouldn't stick. I just figured I reminded him of a nephew, grandson, etc. from his past. Ollie became my new nickname with all the staff.
One day one of the aides asked him "Why do you call him Ollie?" His matter-of-fact response: "Because Oliver is too formal." Of course it is.
Once, his daughter overheard him calling me Ollie and asked how long he had been doing that. I told her he had called me that from the beginning and I asked who Ollie is. Her amused response: "Ollie is his dog!"
Nov 19, '12had a patient last week - he had moments of lucidity interspersed with moments of hilarity...anyway when discussing going to an assistive facility his answer - "I can't go there - those women want sex and I can't give it to them!" Needless to say his roommate was less than impressed (an A&O 50 year old)...
and after using the bedside commode and my CI was browbeating me over something stupid he said to her "hey lady - can you grab a napkin and wipe my d!ck - I can't reach it"...I physically had to turn my back or I was going to rupture!
Nov 19, '12There was a little old man up in the bathroom and the nurse trying to help him get cleaned up...
Pt: "I have a bunch of s*** to do today and you just wont let me do it."
Nurse: "Well sir you just did a bunch of s***"
I think the whole hallway lost it. This guy just would not let his nurse help him get cleaned up, we had to call in a male reinforcement.
He was finally cleaned up and put back in bed.
Nov 19, '12I'm not an RN, yet, but at my clinicals there's an elder woman who REFUSES to eat for anyone but the male in my class. She will scream, kick, and try to hit any of us females...especially blondes lol, but when he comes in the room she's all smiles and will eat her whole plate. She even told him that he needed to put a sign so everyone knew she was his =/
Nov 19, '12LOL!
I've had a client suddenly decide that I'm a male - even though never in my life have I heard I look anything like a male! She told me I was a "sexy young lad" and she asked me if I was "going home on the bus too" - it got to a point where I had to pretend to cough into my elbow repeatedly to stifle my laughs as I excused myself to go to the bathroom, in which I nearly fell on the floor from laughter. The other CNAs on the unit (I was working as a CNA at this time) never let me forget that one! We were laughing about it for weeks!
Nov 19, '12The other night, prescription drug OD, very combative 50s-ish female is getting a foley while 3 of us are holding her in place. She is bearing down all she can to keep it from going in. She farts (loudly) and all of us involved in holding her down and the RN putting in the cath jerk back fearing something else is going to come out and when we realize it was only a fart, all bust out laughing. She laughed too which also allowed the cath to go in. A win win.
Nov 20, '12Quote from SweetCornOh gosh...this reminds me when I was doing my OB rotation and watched a woman deliver a baby. After delivery, when the doc was sewing her up, she kept passing gas...LOUDLY...and there were quite a few people in the room so the poor girl was mortified.The other night, prescription drug OD, very combative 50s-ish female is getting a foley while 3 of us are holding her in place. She is bearing down all she can to keep it from going in. She farts (loudly) and all of us involved in holding her down and the RN putting in the cath jerk back fearing something else is going to come out and when we realize it was only a fart, all bust out laughing. She laughed too which also allowed the cath to go in. A win win.
The doctor lifted his leg up and said "Ahhh" as if he were relieved. Then, when she did it again, he was like, "I knew I shouldn't have had those beans for lunch."
It was so funny and I'm sure in some weird way it made her feel better!
Nov 20, '12An otherwise cognitively intact patient had an acute episode of delirium/psychosis including extreme paranoia.
The doctor arrives on scene and the patient, who had been trying to escape and rescue the other trapped patients on the way, admitted he was hearing offers of sexual favours over the PA.
The doc looks at him and says, "And you want to leave!?"
Nov 21, '12My favorite on an acute psychiatric unit: A older man decided to rub butter on his chest and put mustard on his penis then run up and down the hallway naked. I will never be the same after seeing this.
Nov 21, '12I work in LTC part time and one night we had a lady who was sitting at the locked door in her wheelchair trying to escape... Next thing we know the fire alarm was going off. She had pulled the fire alarm. When asked why she did it, she responded that the firemen were going to take her away so she could do God's work. She was very disappointed when the firemen left without her
Nov 21, '12Quote from Kay28sounds like some brain bleach is in order!My favorite on an acute psychiatric unit: A older man decided to rub butter on his chest and put mustard on his penis then run up and down the hallway naked. I will never be the same after seeing this.