Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

Nurses Humor

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We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2:

Here's mine...

I keep remembering a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient.

I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room...

I couldn't believe what I saw...

An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery....

he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bed rail for extra support....

With both hands...

HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!!

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Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

What's your story?

Specializes in ICU.

We had this RN working with us in med/surg ICU who was a bit "high maintenance"--we'll call her Petunia, and never liked her patient assignment. On this particular night, she had one patient and was 1st admit. Another RN and I decided to pull a little prank on her. We talked a friend in CV ICU into calling report on a pt who had to be laterally transferred to us STAT because of an ememrgency CABG coming to CV and they had no empty beds. Our CV friend laid it on thick. This pt had an active GI bleed, on the vent, post CABG with arrhythmias, stage 4 decubitus w/wound vac, isolation for MRSA, and I can't remember what else. Of course, Petunia had a FIT. We put one of our MA's on an empty bed, stuck an ET tube in her mouth attached to an ambu bag, strung up some IV bags, and covered her face a little w/a blanket. CV friend and an RT (who says RNs and other disciplines can't work together?) rolled the "pt" into our unit and Petunia was so mad, she could barely speak. Just as we were about to transfer the "pt" to the ICU bed, the MA threw the blanket back and yelled "GOTCHA!"

The look on Petunia's face?-----PRICELESS. She laughed so hard she peed a little. :devil:

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Specializes in gen icu/ neuro icu/ trauma icu/hdu.

Dunno if this counts but found a patient eating "chocolate balls" problem was the patient was bed bound, had had no visitors for several days and oh yeah they were not there when we sponged her 2 hrs earlier. Oh and the kicker they didn't exactly smell like chocolate. Guess who got to retrieve the mass from her mouth ??

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I went in to admit a direct admit to our tele floor, a 40 something man. The aide was getting his vitals, and it was almost shift change so all I had to do was make him comefortable. I just asked " So, what brings you to the hospital?" I couldn't believe the reply. He states " I was making love with my wife and my heart starts a pounding, and I try to keep going, but then I start getting a headache at the back of my head, and it's so bad that I just have to stop." I kept a straight face and go, "Headaches, huh, ok, I'll go check your orders." I get back out to the nurses station and the aide is already there telling the whole story with everyone laughing. That when the aide points at me and says, " and all she does is go, headaches , huh?

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Specializes in gen icu/ neuro icu/ trauma icu/hdu.
magikRN said:
I went in to admit a direct admit to our tele floor, a 40 something man. The aide was getting his vitals, and it was almost shift change so all I had to do was make him comefortable. I just asked " So, what brings you to the hospital?" I couldn't believe the reply. He states " I was making love with my wife and my heart starts a pounding, and I try to keep going, but then I start getting a headache at the back of my head, and it's so bad that I just have to stop." I kept a straight face and go, "Headaches, huh, OK, I'll go check your orders." I get back out to the nurses station and the aide is already there telling the whole story with everyone laughing. That when the aide points at me and says, " and all she does is go, headaches , huh?

Poor lad, worked neuro ICU for a while got at least 3 of these a year (mostly SAH / ICH). Usually they were having sex with someone other than their legally recognised spouse.

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Ortho.

Got an admission from ER the other night, 40 something male, abd. pain/ETOH. He came from the ER fully clothed, and as I was orienting him to his room and such I handed hime a gown and told him that he needed to take his clothes off and put on a gown. He gave me the most serious look and said "There's no way I'm gonna do that again!"

I asked him what he meant by that, and he replied "They had me take my clothes off in the ER, and next thing I knew someone was sticking their finger up my butt...NO WAY I'm gonna do that again!!"

I managed to hold my laughter until I got out of the room, and I let him "sleep it off" for a while in his clothes.

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Specializes in ICU, HIV, Peds (last 30 Yrs<;o).

My mom had Alzheimer's and had already been in a ALZ care unit for a few months; she was gradually declining and needed more skilled care than the unit could give, but was still alert and able to converse, although not always appropriately.

She was in the hospital for a "tune-up" and to allow my dad to explore his options. My sister (also an RN) and I were visiting her and voicing our concerns to each other that all the places he liked cost more than their long-term care would pay each month; one of us had just said "where's the extra $1000 a month going to come from?" --we both sighed in despair and turned in unison to look at Mom---who shrugged and said "Don't look at ME!".

KidsRN

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Working in trauma we recieve a fair share of patients with psych issues.

Late on 06/06/06 a patient decided to let Jesus drive. Not a good idea since it was rather obvious from his injuries that Jesus can't navigate a car. The patient was rather interesting to talk to calling the staff working with him angels ( we dress in black on our unit) and spouting all sort of religious teaching although he could answer admission history question etc . The amount of haldol ( multiple doses, 10mg at a time) couldn't really touch him with the patient breaking soft restraint which i had to tackle him before he could hurt himself or other staff ( occasionally aggressive)

Another patient a few weeks later claiming to be Jesus jumped off a speaker tower to fly at a large musical fest which earned him some C spine injuries and a few other broken bones. Maybe Jesus should stick to walking on water or at least not do hallucingenic when learning to fly

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We call that the " handshake"

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I am crying I am laughing so hard!!!!!!!!
I am laughing so hrd that im crying thats funney:lol2:
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Specializes in renal,peritoneal dialysis, medicine.

I had a handover for a patient who was being transferred to me from the admissions ward, she was to be nil by mouth as she was sheduled for a laparotmy the following morning as she had swallowed her hearing aid!!!

she was transferred to the ward, so i couldnt resist taking a look at her xrays, and there plain as day was her hearing aid on the xray! i couldnt believe my eyes.

later on in the night we were turning this patient when we found a hearing aid in the bed, clean as a whistle and obviously not passed through any of the usual bodily openings, it turns out the hearing aid was tucked inside her knickers when she had the xray, which led the doctor to believe she had swallowed it.

i really enjoyed telling him about it all in the morning, he blushed a nice shade of red!!!

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My mom works LTC and had a pt needing an enema. He is standing in the BR hands on the sink. As soon as she starts the enema, he burst out in song "God bless America!" sang the whole thing. A couple years later I'm in NSG school... for my "well elder" project I am required to interview someone over 60. I chose someone I met at church. She tells me her late husband was a resident at the facility where my mom works. We stop by to see my mom... they remember each other... My mom says, "he had a beautiful singing voice" and his widow replies "I never heard him sing."

Had stopped to answer a call light on tele. Very tall, very thin, long legged pt on the floor, legs splayed out, struggling to rise. 2 banana peels on the chair, 2 bananas on the bed. Didn't see any bananas under pt though. Couple more staff come in and we get pt back to bed. As we are walking out the door, male nurse says, "for a minute there, I thought you slipped on a banana." We all busted up laughing.

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3 codes at the same time

" once in an A shift in the CCU where I was working , i was looking to central monitor ,, Guess all what happened??!

earthquake,,,,,,,, 6.5 degree ,, then one of the coded clients screamed "ooooooh ,, earthquake "

the ECG monitor sensed the earthquake waves and started to artifact,,, but there were some waves not artifacts , they were ( 2 v-tachs . 1 v-f)

it was really a hard day , but we then celebrated our suceeded interventions ... basel

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