Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 22

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from parabola48rn
    now, how hard is it to take out an ngt??? i have never had a problem in the past and go in and tell the patient what i'm going to do, he takes a breath in and then a deep breath out as i instructed as i am pulling the tube out and all is going well when thunk! the tube is stuck. that's right, stuck.
    (snip)
    here i am thinking i'm doing this poor guy a favor by taking out the awful 16 french tube and it comes out of his nose in a knot. i asked a few of the more senior nurses on the floor that night if anything like that ever happened to them and they said absolutely not.
    [font="comic sans ms"][font="comic sans ms"]i've had that happen to me -- ended up calling the surgeons to take it out. they sent this 4'11" tall woman with a baaaad attitude, and she ended up bracing her foot on the bed and yanking it out. the patient screamed, i nearly cried and she triumphantly held up this bloody ng tube with a knot in the end! ouch!
  2. by   lisalau
    when i hear stories like this...and we all know stranger things happen, I am always left with the feeling of wonder that so much goes 'right'
    patients are surprised and mortified when things go wrong, I am constantly amazed at how much goes smoothly...how many uncomplicated births there are, how many surgeries conclude in success, how much healing takes place both due to, and in spite of, medicine.
    I, once knew a very wise doctor who believed he was a servant of God and didnt accept congratulations for his, often amazing, work. Theres not enough of that humility. One day after a particularly difficult delivery, the father of the baby pat this doc on the back and thanked him. His reply, as always was to correct the greatful one and remind them to thank God for his blessing. The father, assuming this doctor had a huge ego looked uncomfortable but stood corrected and called the doctor God for the rest of the evening.
    This memory always makes me smile.
  3. by   nurse2b2007SC
    I work in a long term care facility. One day one of my patients wanted to go to wal-mart. I told her I can't take her it was against the rules. Next thing I know she's coming down the hall with her pocket book. I said where are you going? She replied, " I done called me a cab". I could not help but to laugh!!!
    Last edit by nurse2b2007SC on Jul 8, '06
  4. by   banditrn
    It's not really funny - just amazing - but in the ICU one time, I got this psycho chick who had MAINLINED Neo Sinephrine nose spray! Well, she ended up with us, because she ended up with a super-tachy rhythm.

    When I went in to start her IV - she started screaming before I ever touched her - tried to tell me she was AFRAID of needles!
  5. by   nurse2B1971
    I am a CNA in a LTC facility and work 11p-7a. A few months ago, I just received report at the start of my shift and was proceeding to do rounds. I get down the hall a little ways and hear a ladies voice talking. I didn't think anything of it but decided to check and see if the person was allright. So I found the room where the voice was coming from and peeked into the room of one of our female residents (88 y/o), assuming she was up. Her eyesight is terrible and she suffers from Alzheimers. The lights were low, but well lit enough for me to see fine. I walk in and find the resident sitting on the edge of her bed at the head of her bed, wide awake. I ask her if she is allright and asked what she was doing. She proceeds to tell me she is playing cards with someone. OK, the so called "person" she was playing cards with was her lamp on her nightstand. Trying to hold the laughter back, I ask her if she is winning. In a serious tone, she responds "NO". I had to leave the room fast, the thought of her losing to her lamp made me want to crack up laughing. Gotta love her!

    Another incident I encountered. We have a gentleman in his late 70s. He is mean, most of the time. His mood could go from somewhat nice to combative in a second. One night I found him sitting on the edge of his bed incontinent with bm. I managed to coax him in to bathroom to get him cleaned up. Usually if he isn't ready to get up he will hit you. As he is sitting on the toilet and I was kneeling to clean the bm off of his leg, he looks at the washcloth that I was using to clean him up and proceeds to ask me "did you s**t yourself?" I starting laughing, not knowing what to say I told him that I was cleaning him up not me. It might not seem all that funny unless you know the person.
    Last edit by nurse2B1971 on Jul 14, '06
  6. by   lisalau
    I thunk thats hilarious
    I cared for my grandmother til she passed away at 94 years. Each time she soiled herself, it was the first time that had ever happened to her but she vividly remembered my soiling myself just earlier that morning or last night or whenever she last did and having to clean me up! This was consoling for her and ok by me.
  7. by   mtnlpn
    About 5 yrs ago I was working in the Alzheimer's unit at a nursing home, the unit was locked but had a fenced in courtyard ( the door to go outside was kept locked unless the nurse/aides were taking residents out). It was in the dead of winter and snowing outside, well I was doing my med pass and we had to keep the cart locked in the nurses station due to the residents and take meds around the unit. As I returned from taking meds to someone I looked over to wards the living room and outside in the courtyard was one of the residents in her merry walker with a huge smile on her face, going around and around the small brick garden in the center of the courtyard!!!! I ran to the door, which was locked, opened it and brought her in, her only reply was " it has gotten cold out there". How she got the door open is still mystery!!
  8. by   RGN1
    Although this incident made me laugh it just goes to prove that you should NEVER assume your patients know anything!

    A patient came back for a 2 week follow up out patient appointment after a total hip replacement. The usual information and meds had been given to the family prior to being sent home from the ward. The meds included a 5 day cover supply of painkillers, just ibuprofen which is cheaply available OTC (and free for retirees on prescription) and must have been given out with only minimal information about how to take them.

    When the consultant asked how the patient was doing the reply was not what was expected. The patient said they had been in terrible pain after the tablets had run out and couldn't sleep lying down in bed at all so had ended up spending the night standing up wedged inbetween 2 wardrobes & now their ankles were swollen too!!!!!!!!!!!

    It wasn't even as though they were particulalrly elderly or lived alone or had anything that would have alerted you to the total lack of sense in either partner!

    The picture of this person sleeping like that just made us nurses giggle so much! Especially as all they had to do was go to their local shops & get more tablets, or visit their GP or even call the ward - we always give them a letter with the number on it. I just can't believe the lack of common sense but I tell you I now make sure I spell EVERYTHING out in black & white, even if the info sounds a bit basic - you just never know!
  9. by   nursing04
    Quote from Psychaprn
    Psych is full of funny stories-as a new prescriber, I tried to educate my pts.that some of the antidepressants can cause delayed ejaculation. A young construction worker came to me with this problem. I told him, as we talked about the drug, to "hold it "for a week to see :chuckle if things improved. He returned a week later telling me that holding his penis hadn't helped with the delayed ejaculation. Neeless to say, I learned to be MORE clear when telling patients to hold or stop a medication.
    That is too funny!!
  10. by   nursing04
    One of my coworkers had a patient on telemetry. During a crazy day shift her beepers starts going off- I glance at the screen and it reads "leads off". We both head to the room where we found this pleasantly confused older gentleman with the tele leads all on his penis. We just looked at him and laughed hysterically.
  11. by   Cheez-It!
    This one just happened last Monday. Keep in mind I work in a geriatric psych facility.

    Everyday, our activities hands each resident a one dollar bill to buy pop. One older femal resident I'm pretty close with asked me to help her to the restroom. I'm not busy so sure, why not. I help her to the bathroom, and low and behold, they had corn for supper yesterday. Wonderful. One XXL BM. So I'm helping her get cleaned up and notice something else in the toilet bowl. You guessed it, a lovely green one dollar bill floating amongst the logs of BM. Wonderful. Of course when she stands up, she sees it and is instantly in tears because he pop money is covered in corn chunks. Well, Nurse Sassy(she always calls me this because of a tank top I have, she never lets me forget it.) to the rescue. I got her cleaned up and back in her chair, held my breath and grabbed the bill. She was giggling in excitement. I folded my glove over and walked out into the hallway with her behind me. I handed the glove to house keeping and requested it be washed. Housekeeping almost made another BM in the middle of floor. This resident is now asked daily by half the staff if she can poop out a few fifties or atleast a few twenties. She gets the giggles everytime.


    And another one, from a few weeks ago...
    I was having a crappy day, WAY to much phone ringing. I had the psychiatrist in all ready and he had to see everyone. Everyone had 1000 orders a piece. So i'm working on my umpteenth million order and the other doc walks in for his weekly rounds. I promptly told him to get out. The phone's ringing off the hook. I've got charts piled up so high I can't see over the desk ... my hair I'm sure was frizzed out to the ends. He asked if he could help. Nauturally I said "Sure, just take care of the phone for me for justa couple of minutes so I can ge these last few orders done." So the phone rings two seconds later. Doc picks up phone, says, "Wal-Mart, can I help you?" ... My head hit the desk. If that didn't beat all, a few hours later, I answer the phone to a lady requesting the social services director. She says, "I tried this number earlier and someone said it was Wal-Mart!" I couldn't reply to her, I slammed her on hold and choked.
  12. by   littlebitonurse
    During nursing school we spent a week on an alzheimers unit for geriatrics. My first day on the unit I was at the nurses station when one of the residents came to the desk asking if I could mail a package for her. I asked her what she needed mailed and she handed me an envelope full of sh***t. She had gone into an empty room and proceeded to stuff this envelope full of her own poop. I, also being the nursing student, got the pleasure of giving her a bath. Ever had to dig poop out of an ear???? I will never forget her, tho!
  13. by   MamaTheNurse
    Quote from littlebitonurse
    During nursing school we spent a week on an alzheimers unit for geriatrics. My first day on the unit I was at the nurses station when one of the residents came to the desk asking if I could mail a package for her. I asked her what she needed mailed and she handed me an envelope full of sh***t. She had gone into an empty room and proceeded to stuff this envelope full of her own poop. I, also being the nursing student, got the pleasure of giving her a bath. Ever had to dig poop out of an ear???? I will never forget her, tho!
    well, if that hasn't chased you away as a student, you'll be a nurse for life!!!

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