Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

[Trvln Nurse]

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other.

Here's mine...

I keep remembering a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient.

I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room...

I couldn't believe what I saw...

An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery....

he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bed rail for extra support....

With both hands...

HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!!

Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

What's your story?

[nicer when smarter]

I work in L&D and recently had a patient come to triage with complaints of head lice...so the ER wheels her up and she has shampoo in her hair....Flea & Tick shampoo....she said it was burning her scalp. Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed.

I also had a patient come in complaining of contractions...she said she didn't know if they were real or "Briggs & Stratton" contractions. I asked her if she was giving birth to a lawnmower. Ha!

[runaway]

a known etoh patient is brought by ambulance almost every single night for alcohol intoxication. like any other alcoholics he sleeps it off until everyone sobers up and gets discharged in the morning. around 6 am, this known etoh pt came walking to er to "get treated." I met him in the er hallway and just joked with him, "you walk just fine willie. you're discharged."

he just turned around said thank you and left. did I discharge him? I sure did! lol

everyone in the nurse's station laughed at the top of their lungs!

runaway

[Lara911]

I used to work on a triage help phone line (we call it info-sante here don't in usa) where pt call to have advice before going at the emerg for nothing...a pt call and told me he tried to put a *suppositoire (sorry don't know the correct word in english) in bathroom without turning on the light the night before, when he got up in the morning, he found the supp in the bathroom but never found the tipe of the toothpaste tube!!!

[klorox]

I had a young man who had ortho surgery. He was cussing and complaining about pain after he woke up. This went on for several minuites while I was trying to get his pain under control. The cussing was pretty vulgar and unrelentless. Pretty soon in a whiney voice he said "I want my mommy". He lost some credibility as a "tough guy":chuckle .

[Lara911]

Another one I just remember...

As a school nurse, I sent a 16 years old teenager to the medical office for a throat infection, where he received an antibiotic prescription from the doctor, I always ask to come to tell me the result of the consultation. When I asked, did your start the medication, he told me, I don't know how to get it...Well, go to the pharmacy...He told me...I can't ...I don't understand what it says on the order and don't know what to ask the pharmacist!!! too cute...

[angel5]

Well.....

In my job I have the "priveledge" of accompanying patients to and in their Doctor appointments. This particular day I am with a lady who is going in for a pelvic exam.

This lady is a very matter of fact woman who speaks seriously and non jokingly. (You will know why I am giving this piece of info. in a moment. bear with me.)

She is on th table for the exam, stirrups and all, and the Doctor is doing the exam, The Nurse is on one side of her and I am, at this woman's request, holding her hand. The Dr. is really having a hard time, his face is turning slightly red as he is "inside" and palpating her abdomen. The Patient is grimacing and he finally says while still doing the job, " I am having a hard time finding the cervix." Calmly and plainly this woman says, "Probably cause I ain't got one no more."

I have a good rapport with this Physician and Nurse and it was ALL I could do to contain myself for the sake of the Patient. The Doc's face was red as fire! (It's not like he didn't have her chart in front of him!)

[angel5]

When we were on the FIRST day on our FIRST clinical we were in our patient rooms. I was going down the hall to get some linen when a male student in my group called out to me from his room. He already had another female student in there feeling of this ladies pulse as they could not get any vital signs. I took one look at her felt her pulse and said, (You have probably guessed it) "I think she's dead!" I went to the Nurses station and got the nurse, the Doctor came and asked how long they were there, etc., etc. It was funny when it was over though not at the time but it broke us in!

[HeatherRN2006]

this isn't my story but a story from my wonderful preceptor from my senior year of preceptorship...

she works on the neuro/ortho unit nights. in the middle of the night one of her patients pressed the call button and said that her roommate stole her purse... she did this a few other times. my preceptor went in to investigate. her purse was safe and sound. again, the patient presses the call button and says that her purse was stolen by her roomate. a few minutes later you see the patient walking down the hall with a foley... it was not hers but the roommates...

one more from my preceptor

a male patient was found in a plastic garbage bag. it turns out that he had pulled out all his lines and foley and was bleeding tremendously. because of this, he emptied the garbage bag and put himself in it so as not to make a mess.

[CaseManager1947]

I have so many ... but the funniest was fromy days in Geriatric Psych. We had this little 86 y/o lady... she had owned a bridal shop. Still dressed to the nines, with her rouge neatly painted in a circle on each cheek. Our halls. like lots of units was fairly long. She was walking up and down the hallway, looking in each door, and finally stopped at the nurses station, and said "Excuse me miss, can you tell me how to get off this airplane???" I swear to you, true story.

[alexmom2006]

I work in LTC and we had this patient Monica, she was so demanding and was such a trouble maker that every 3 months she was shipped to another floor as she stresses out the staff. One day-as she came back from lunch at Red Lobster as part of their recreation activity ,she approached me and asked me for her prn Immodium and repeatedly instructed me to make sure I wrote it down that she had nausea and vomiting, I didn't actually see her vomit and or go to the bathroom,so curious as to what she was up to- I listened as she wheeled herself into her roomwhich was right next to the nursing station, she picked up the phone and called Red Lobster- telling them she ate lunch there and had food poisoning and demanding a refund of her money. For many days- day in and day out she called Red Lobster repeatedly telling them the same thing- screaming even-saying she will sue them. After 2 weeks, she got mail- a check for $8.75 from Red Lobster.

[HeatherRN2006]

not so much a patient story, but still funny

at one of my first clinicals i was changing fluids on a patient. my professor was there observing. i was so nervous that i took the tubing out from the old fluid bag (to reuse on the new fluid) without taking the bag off the pole. There was still quite enough fluid to fall everywhere. a rainstorm in a patients room... i was so embarrassed. :imbar i will never do that again, that's for sure.

[muffie, RN]

as a student in the er, a farmer came in with gi bleed. how bad was the bleeding? had to change his undies once a week. yuck!