Retired Husband at Walmart

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in SICU, EMS, Home Health, School Nursing.

Dear Mrs. Fenton:

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused.

All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below:

MEMO: RE: Mr. Bill Fenton

Complaints - Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in our store:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And; last, but not least!

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds Homecare.
:lol2::lol2::lol2:love it:rotfl:
Up Vote Up Vote ×

aaaahhhhhaaaa!!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

My hubby is not working this month (he's a teacher) and I can see him doing some of these things - he is tooooo bored!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

Ooh ooh ooh! Can I try some of them?

wait a minute, I can't retire for another 20 years. And I'm single. And female. sigh

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in SICU, EMS, Home Health, School Nursing.
Ooh ooh ooh! Can I try some of them?

wait a minute, I can't retire for another 20 years. And I'm single. And female. sigh

Oh you should do them and let us all know how it goes!! :lol2:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

LOL _ thanks for the laugh!!!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds; Peds Oncology.

OMG...that is absolutely too funny. Sending it to every one I know!:rotfl::rotfl:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Surgical/MedSurg/Oncology/Hospice.
:lol2::lol2: I gotta ask though...what IS a "code 3"?;)
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER.

Sad but true. my husband hates going to Wal-mart with me and will annouce loudly to all who will listen. "dont you need your hemmroid cream" or have we gotten all your meds today"? he will also put random things in my cart when i am not looking! gotta love him , he;s the best husband :blushkiss

PS' I do the same thing to him too!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment