Published
1) When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.
2) Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because she doesn't want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday she's had off in years.
3) You've been awakened from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to find her shaking you because your breathing patterns were a little too close to a Cheyne-Stokes rhythm.
I'm just finishing up nursing school, and didn't realise how much my 4 y/o picks up on until one day when her little brother (who was 2) was trying to learn how to pee standing up. He would stand there and because he was nervous would not be able to start the flow. So my 4y/o told him, I think you might need a diuretic! Whenever her belly hurts, she tells me, "My tummy hurts, and yes, I already tried to poop."
When we were learning to start IVs in school, I would practice on her stuffed animals, and she would beg me to leave the HL connected to them-so then she would cart them around, giving them tap water IVP.
A good friend of mine's husband was always badgering me for stories from "the front line of nursing". One day I told him about a young woman who came in to our OB unit with a wicked case of genital warts. He was unsure of what these warts looked like, so I told him they resembled cauliflower florets. My friend has since told me that he can not even look at a head of cauliflower without gagging. Needless to say he never asks me to share anymore work stories.
I am LMAO to these stories. My 12 & 4 yr old girls do the same things " Yes, I pooped today, No I don't want it cut off, Yes I can breathe & there is no blood." My hubby gets totally freaked when I look at his veins, gets pale, breaks into a sweat. It is sooo funny. I know I shouldn't laugh, BUT . . . And don't even get me started on shows like ER. Before it comes on I am told "Tracy, do you think you can just WATCH it & not critique it?" That is virtually impossible. My 4 yr old does a really great job with "babydoll CPR' & intubation. It is too cute :) My 12 yr old gets embarrased when her friends are over. They ALL get the lectures about smoking, sex, drugs. Better to know than not know. :)
OUCH! Eardrums are painful!
One day, my husband paged me urgently when I was in a patient's home to say he had the stomach flu, and had been IC of a loose BM, and decorated the walls in the bathroom at home. Being nauseous, he was unable to clean it up, and thought it was the end of the world.
At the time I was trying to contact the doctor for a terminally ill cancer patient, whose small bowel was completely obstructed, and who was having severe nausea and vomiting. I had scant sympathy to offer my spouse, and he was upset. I explained the situation to him when I got home, and he smiled sheepishly. "Well, I guess that DOES kind of put things into perspective," he acknowledged.
Guess who got to clean up the bathroom, though??
I see that my husband and kids have a lot of folks to compare notes with!
My daughter waited overnight for a greenstick# of tib, 'cause mom's a nurse and there was no swelling or deformity (imagine how much guilt I had over that one!)
You can always tell who's mom is a nurse at the playground because the kids know and use all the right words for everything.
My 6 year old daughter was asking me why women menstruate the other day which led to an anatomy lesson (uterus, bladder, lady parts etc). I have to admit that I was stumped for a few minutes when she said "yes, but Mommy, what's that little bump for? I thought about it for a few minutes and finally told her that little bump is just a little present from God:rolleyes:
Navy Nurse
70 Posts
I have to agree. Both my wife and I are Nurses and I am sure our kids could tell stories about conversations heard at the dinner table that would have had us reported to the Child PRotective Services in most states.