Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in acute care.

I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine:

  • climbing into other residents' beds and taking a nap...one time we found the resident sleeping in a bed that was already occupied by the resident it belonged to--they were both sleeping in there!!
  • putting pajamas in the toilet, then having an extra-large BM right on top of them
  • taking a cup that had some medication mixed in juice, then turning to the person sitting next to her and saying "here, you can have this"--fortunately I was able to take it back before the other resident could get a hold of it
  • wandering around in the hall and grabbing people's butts
  • blowing nose into a tissue, then using same tissue to "clean" nurse's station counter :barf02:

What other funny/crazy things have you guys seen dementia patients do?

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we once had a dementia patient who took off her breif and brought it out to the dining room and put it in the water fountain.. never drank out of there again

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I have way too many stories t remember them all, having worked in Psych for 25 years. Here are a few tidbits:

pt thought radiator in her room was fishtank, so she smushed her for down it to "feed the fishes"

same pt (over 80 years old ) used to scream "I want to ****" at the top of her lungs for hours at a time

older male pt used to come out in the hallway and benchpress invisible barbells

same pt came to nurses' station and asked us sincerely, "Can you tell me when my brain starts working?"

too many tales of lost dentures--out windows, down toilets, in bathtub/shower, etc

Oh, I'm really starting to get nostalgic!!

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

one old man in psych frequently reminded me that he used to have papers proving he was sane. did i or was i still crazy too?

one man was on a va neuropsych ward when i was a grad student, and guess who was assigned to interview him and create a careplan? he was utterly impossible! kept grabbing anywhere he could,

and shouting, "c'mon baby! kiss me like you really mean it!" or "when we ****ed last night, you were

sooo good.":barf02::chair::no::uhoh3::eek:

about a decade later, he turned up on my floor at the state hospital.:eek::down:

the woman in the other bed in my grandma's nursing home room, had severe dementia and had forgotten

her english, speaking either german or lapsing into yiddish at times. grandma had taught german.

grandma had advanced parkinson's and and was essentially nonverbal most of the time. her roommate was still mobile and frequently got lost outside her room. she'd call "mary! mary! i can't find my way home!" and grandma would patiently count the steps until she was "home" again.

the 40-something man, whose cognative function was long gone due to drugs and drink, who peed in every sink and wastebasket he passed.

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Once.. I gave a resident her healthshake. She lookd at the box and it said "shake well". She looked at it curiously and said to me,"well it must not be working. Its not shaking at all."

Had another resident who claimed their was a young white boy in his room from his school.so I went along with it and continued cleaning him. When I went to clean his rear he jumped and shouted at me,"He's there,he's there!" I said ,"Where?!!" He's says, "In my BUTT!!!"

One resident used to curse Obama every night. Saying he did nothing for her and her family. She used to yell through the nusing home about how much she hated him. I went into her room to tel her to quiet down a bit. She looks at me,threw her leg into the air, opened her crotch explicitly with both hands and said, " Go on *****, go the **** on *****," in her southern accent. I took that as she wanted me to leave and kindly exited the room.lol

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Patient sees Whoopi Goldberg on TV:

"Why's she so fat now?, the other day she was so skinny with those Dinosaurs"

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*Turds perfectly rolled up and meticulously lined up along the edge of the sink.

*The man who dismantled the drinking fountain. He also escaped and was found at the hot dog stand.

*Two room mates chasing each other around and around the nurses' station in their wheel chairs. They were trying to catch up with the other and kept losing the other around the bend. They were also calling out for the other... and they were not using their correct names.

*The strong man who broke the toilet off its base and flooded the floor. His reasoning: "Those horses done run wild!"

*The potpourri that was shaped like a pie. This potpourri pie was found with a hunk out of it. Patient: "That pie tastes like ****!"

*Cranky old bat and cranky old codger loved to harass each other. Both mean as cat ****. Old Bat goes to whack Old Codger with her cane... and knocked the drapes down onto her own head instead. Old Codger delighted.

*Quote: "I'm 83, my mother's 83 and my grandmother's 83! Isn't that funny, honey?!"

*Aide trying to fix paranoid old lady's TV. Patient is worried the aide will electrocute herself. Very worried. Patient explodes: "Don't play with Mr. Electricity, you *****!!"

Oh, I have waaaaaaay too many.

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

Working geropsych, we had a pt who would hallucinate that Marilyn Monroe was sitting next to him and whispering in his ear. After several days of this, finally figured out that it happened when his blood sugar dropped to the teens (he was otherwise asymptomatic, which was scary.) We fixed him, and he blamed us all for killing his "goddess".

Had an OLD lady who was hallucinating dalmation puppies all up and down the hallway. I went to let someone in the door to the unit (locked ward, obviusly), and she started screaming bloody murder b/c I was stepping on the puppies. There were apparently so many of them that no matter where I put my foot down, one was there. Boy she hated me for about ten minutes...till she forgot about it. :)

Had a nun on hospice on the tele floor who would sit in her doorway and yell "Where's the Carpenter?" We all kinda assumed she meant she was waiting for Jesus to come get her...

Gave a 90-something pt a busy apron to play with so she'd leave her IV and Foley alone. She looked at me with disgust and said "This is for babies. I'm at least 50. Right?" Well, yeah, that and then some!

Had a 96 year old woman tell me, after I got checking her to see if she was wet, "Honey, you wanna see that kinda thing go work on the East Side (where all the strip clubs are). You'll make more money than you do now, I know." I was afraid to ask just how she knew!

Along similar lines... Had a pt who was a former Playboy bunny and had gotten breast implants eons ago, which were like two large immovable rocks jutting out of her chest all these decades later. She would accost every doc who walked into the room..."If I ever find out you're the one that ruined my boobs, I'm suing you."

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I have way too many stories t remember them all, having worked in Psych for 25 years. Here are a few tidbits:

pt thought radiator in her room was fishtank, so she smushed her for down it to "feed the fishes"

same pt (over 80 years old ) used to scream "I want to ****" at the top of her lungs for hours at a time

older male pt used to come out in the hallway and benchpress invisible barbells

same pt came to nurses' station and asked us sincerely, "Can you tell me when my brain starts working?"

too many tales of lost dentures--out windows, down toilets, in bathtub/shower, etc

Oh, I'm really starting to get nostalgic!!

I just love those alzheimers patients.
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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

when i worked med-surg years ago, there was a crazy old lady who would leave her room, go two doors down the hall to the left, go into the northeast corner of that room, squat and poop. every single morning. the woman in that room was not impressed. (evidently at home, her bathroom was two doors down the hall to the left of her bedroom and the toilet was in the northeast corner.)

then there was the old man who wandered so much the nas put a sign on the back of his bathrobe that said "i belong to 2 east. if found, call 555-5555". got a call once from a cop at a subway station who wanted to know if we were missing something . . . .

i have lots more.

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This particular patient was about 85 years old and born in Germany. She married an American soldier soon after WWII.

So a nurse comes in to give her a medication with juice. She refuses but the nurse try and try to convince her. He says, "Mrs. you have to take the med and the 'JUICE'". She replies, "No, I will NOT take the JEWS. Those damn people".

The nurse and I looked at each other and laughed haha.

I guess we learned her view on the Jewish lol.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Transplant, Education.

Oh I have tons, but a really cute one here...

100 y/o LTC resident found lying on the floor next to her bed by the aide at the start of 11-7 shift.

Me: Mary (name changed) what happened?

Mary: Well, I was going to the bathroom to get ready for work.

Me: Where do you work?

Mary: The telephone company.

Me: Oh, that sounds like a nice job. How old are you?

Mary: About 83 or 84 I think, but my mother told me I was almost 101! Can you believe that?

(Her reality wasn't ALL that distorted...she did used to work at the telephone company, and her 101st birthday was the next day, lol)

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