Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories

Nurses Humor

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I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine:

  • climbing into other residents' beds and taking a nap...one time we found the resident sleeping in a bed that was already occupied by the resident it belonged to--they were both sleeping in there!!
  • putting pajamas in the toilet, then having an extra-large BM right on top of them
  • taking a cup that had some medication mixed in juice, then turning to the person sitting next to her and saying "here, you can have this"--fortunately I was able to take it back before the other resident could get a hold of it
  • wandering around in the hall and grabbing people's butts
  • blowing nose into a tissue, then using same tissue to "clean" nurse's station counter :barf02:

What other funny/crazy things have you guys seen dementia patients do?

Specializes in Intermediate care.

Once had a male resident decide to dress himself. He came out in a button up sweatshirt, that wasnt even buttoned and a baseball cap. NOTHING ELSE except his red unbuttoned sweatshirt and baseball cap.

What a sight for the lady residents :-D

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Specializes in Medical Surgical.

During my first year being an RN, I had an old catholic priest patient who had advanced dementia and was bedridden. Sometimes, he would burst out in anger and try to punch, kick, his nurses when they do morning care or change his diapers.

One day, he yelled out "Go to hell you *****!".

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Specializes in Intermediate care.
During my first year being an RN, I had an old catholic priest patient who had advanced dementia and was bedridden. Sometimes, he would burst out in anger and try to punch, kick, his nurses when they do morning care or change his diapers.

One day, he yelled out "Go to hell you *****!".

diapers? Do u mean products??? :D

Sorry, my pet peeve when people call them diapers.

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One time one of our dementia patients when missing however their pants and brief were sitting on a chair in their room :eek: Also had some poop murals.

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

I had a psychotic pt. once,( mostly controlled by meds.)....I decided it would be nice to compliment her on her decoupage purse ; she replied, "Why, thank you; it used to be a baby's head." Uhhhh....OK! I don't think I've ever got over that one ! It really WAS the size of a baby's head!

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Specializes in Oncology, Medical.

Ohh man, I have plenty of stories, mostly from working in LTC as a PSW. Best one was probably this one time, when I was walking an elderly woman to her room.

Patient: You have nice tits.

Me: Um...sorry, what did you say? (Note: she has a heavy accent so I thought I heard wrong)

Patient: Tits! *gestures to my chest* Nice and round!

Me: ...........*speechless*

There was also an elderly male patient who told me he'd "be on the lookout for young men" to hook me up with when I told him I was single, LOL.

I was was working a night shift one time, and one of the residents came out to sit in his usual chair in the lounge (I guess he couldn't sleep that night). He doesn't cause trouble - just sits and looks around until he feels like returning to bed again - so we allow it. Unfortunately, the fire alarm started blaring, so as we go through the usual fire alarm procedures, the man just sits in his chair, shouting, "TURN DOWN THAT DAMNED RACKET!"

I had a patient in the hospital once tell me that "There's a horse on the roof!" Umm...ok.

EDIT: Just thought of another.

I was working another night shift in LTC and on my hourly rounds, found one woman in hysterics - crying, screaming, everything! I go in and ask her what's wrong. She cried, "Mike (name changed) is dead!" Mike is her cat that came with her to the nursing home. I look over by the window and the cat, clearly alive, is there. I tell her, "No, Mike's alive. See by the window?"

She screams even more and shows me one of her big pillows and says, "No, he's dead! Look! Feel him! He's not moving!!"

Same lady also told my co-worker that she "has the devil's eyes". We never figured out what that meant.

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Specializes in LTC.

Once when I had a resident fall, I went into her room to observe her roommate standing up unassisted, and she said "I was trying to go upstairs for help." We don't have an upstairs.

I had a good laugh on my first day by myself as a nurse after my orientation. A resident who doesn't know any member of my family said "How's your mom?" I said "She's doing ok." Then she said "Tell her I said hi."

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

So, this is an anecdote I never could send in to Reader's Digest: I'm working in small hospital, and after a football game one of the rooms in my assignment on 3-11 was a four bed room with three injured football players and an 80-something man with dementia, name of ...say, Oscar. I go in to put Oscar back to bed; I pull the curtain around his bed and he whispers to me "I have to pee". I handed his urinal to him and , thinking to give him a little bit of "privacy", I turned away and was pulling down the sheet and blanket, when I feel a warm stream of liquid on my leg. I turned and looked and there's Oscar holding yhe urinal in his left hand no where NEAR his right hand, with which he was holding his member. I quickly grabbed the urunal and as I was guiding it down toward his still peeing member, I said....quite audible to those three football players...."Oscar! Oscar! You're 80 years old and you don't know how to use it yet?!? PUT IT IN! PUT IT IN!" It wasn't until those boys started howling with laughter that I realized what I had said. We all laughed until we cried. And for the next two evenings, every time I walked by the door of that room, one or another of those guys would pipe up, "Put it in, put it in!"

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Specializes in geriatric, ER.

When helping one elderly male with his condom catheter he starts grinning and points "down south" and tells me I am giving him "the tinglies" ughhhhhhh I go home and tell my fiance about this and he says, "Poor old guy, thats how I used to feel when you were in school and to busy studying!" :rolleyes: Do men ever change????

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My good friend Paula is long time ICU nurse with a voice that one might say carries pretty well. She has a patient who is one day post heart surgery and what was probably a little very mild dementia ordinarily has become pretty pronounced. She's trying to reorient him, and the whole unit can hear the conversation:

Do you know where you are?

No

You had heart surgery. Where do you go for heart surgery?

Costco?

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Was at a LTC and overheard a scuffle and some heated convo in the dining room. I went with another nurse to see what was up to hear two LOILs (Little Old Italian Ladies)...

LOIL #1: Standing with her walker next to a table looking down at LOIL #2 seated, "I hope you choke and die a horrible death!!!!!"

LOIL #2: Seated, "I hope I die right now so I don't have to ever eat another meal with you!!!!!!!!"

These two were little italian ladies 86-7 with heavy "Godfather-esque" accents. Sure musta been tough customers when they were young. It was all we could do to separate them and keep from laughing. The insults kept coming.

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Specializes in Oncology, Medical.

I worked a couple of night shifts this week. One nurse, while doing her rounds, found one of our dementia patients in the shower room....having a BM and wearing someone else's skinny jeans (not sure if we ever figured out who they belonged to).

Needless to say, not a pleasant experience for anyone, but it makes for a funny story :rolleyes:

Was at a LTC and overheard a scuffle and some heated convo in the dining room. I went with another nurse to see what was up to hear two LOILs (Little Old Italian Ladies)...

LOIL #1: Standing with her walker next to a table looking down at LOIL #2 seated, "I hope you choke and die a horrible death!!!!!"

LOIL #2: Seated, "I hope I die right now so I don't have to ever eat another meal with you!!!!!!!!"

These two were little italian ladies 86-7 with heavy "Godfather-esque" accents. Sure musta been tough customers when they were young. It was all we could do to separate them and keep from laughing. The insults kept coming.

LOL there is something about Italian women - they have fire in their blood and it never dies!

We had a similar situation in the nursing home I used to work at while I was a student. I guess management assumed that our two Italian ladies, speaking the same language and sharing the same culture, would like to sit at the same dining table. Yeah, that didn't work out so well :rolleyes: They just yelled at each other in Italian and tried to sabotage each other's meals.

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