Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

  1. 5 To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply



    Darwin Consult

    and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.


    so do you have more?
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  3. Visit  nilepoc profile page

    About nilepoc

    From 'Baltimore, MD'; 45 Years Old; Joined Aug '01; Posts: 664; Likes: 144.

    829 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  kewlnurse profile page
    2
    Cepachol throat candy, prn
    Orange Tree and houseliberty like this.
  5. Visit  frustratedRN profile page
    13
    i thought this was funny but one of the nurses on the unit was going to have this doc written up.

    had a patient with alzheimers. he was restrained fully...arms, legs, vest because he kept pulling at his tubes.

    poor guy didnt know what was going on. he stopped urinating. all he knew was that ppl kept coming in his room while he was tied up and did things with his penis. countless tries and we could not get a foley in. he screamed and called us names. i got kicked in the stomach when we let his leg lose...but still i never got angry. i dunno seemed kinda funny coming from that perspective.
    after all this a doc comes in and he is trying to insert a catheter.
    the patient gets REALLY mad and starts accusing the doc of being gay and playing with his penis.
    the doc got all tongue tied and you could see he was really mad.
    he stopped trying to put in the foley.

    on the chart he wrote:
    pt needs foley--will be ****** without one.

    well i didnt say it was appropriate...i just thought it was funny. and although it caused no harm im sure ms beotch had him written up.
    Last edit by Thunderwolf on Mar 8, '08 : Reason: profanity edited
  6. Visit  Zee_RN profile page
    21
    "Root beer float q.h.s. prn."

    Honest to God. In a hospital. MD said we should make it. At this time, on the med-surg unit, there was one RN, one LPN and one aide for 18 pts. We didn't point out that he left out the route in his order.
  7. Visit  RNforLongTime profile page
    11
    We had a patient once who was an alcoholic and a COPDer. The doc, a pulmonologist, would write..Black Velvet, 30cc Q6hrs,prn..I am NOT kidding either. The pharmacy had to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of BV and then we had to keep it locked in the narc cupboard and sign out each shot of BV!!!!

    Kelly
  8. Visit  prmenrs profile page
    23
    I'd rather give him that than deal w/ DTs!
    TeenyTinyBabyRN, KimICURN, RaineyRN, and 20 others like this.
  9. Visit  debbyed profile page
    7
    Hey, better a "shot"q6hr than withdrawl. Withdrawl can get really ugly and Depending on the patients age and severity of his medical problems it could be fatal.

    We have several frequent flyer alcoholics that come into the ED for various reasons. Well our standard of care states that no one can leave the ER with a Blood Etoh of >100 unless a "responsible"adult comes to sign the patient out. On several of our "older"alcoholics who routinely show up with Blood Etoh's of <500, the Er doctors write specific orders to discharge patient when he can state his social security number backwards. We don't do repeat ETOH levels on them for fear that if we actually kept them until their Etoh level was >100, they'd start seeing pink elephants, and then we'd all be in trouble.
    TeenyTinyBabyRN, LPNweezy, jh56031, and 4 others like this.
  10. Visit  Andy S. profile page
    34
    a frustrated doc who was "attacked" when he came to the floor with a list of questions from several nurses turned and told all the nurses, "percocet for all patients, valium for all nurses"
    TeenyTinyBabyRN, Hatchett, c.kelly, and 31 others like this.
  11. Visit  ClariceS profile page
    7
    Baked potato p.o. BID
  12. Visit  tiger profile page
    6
    ultrasound lle. r/o dvd
  13. Visit  CashewLPN profile page
    2
    From tonights shift

    --Psychic consult
    --phisic consult

    --Barbara
  14. Visit  mattcastens profile page
    5
    Originally posted by kaknurse
    We had a patient once who was an alcoholic and a COPDer. The doc, a pulmonologist, would write..Black Velvet, 30cc Q6hrs,prn..I am NOT kidding either. The pharmacy had to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of BV and then we had to keep it locked in the narc cupboard and sign out each shot of BV!!!!

    Kelly


    You laugh, but that's becoming more common (again). Our surgeons screen patients for possible DTs after their open-heart surgery. If they're found to be at risk, they have a standing order for "Beer: 1 can PO, BID." Thank god they specified "PO".

    They figure that it's easier (and better for the patient) to stem the DTs before they start. We're not going to dry them up anyway, and their bodies can put the energy into healing instead of withdrawl.
  15. Visit  suzannasue profile page
    5
    LAST WEEK OUR ENTIRE NIGHT SHIFT WAS "ATTACKED" BY A FELLOW IN DT'S. SENT 2 SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE ED WITH INJURIES. THIS GUY PULLED THE MIRROR OFFA THE WALL ,FLOODED THE ROOM ALONG WITH ALL HIS "ACTING OUT".
    THE MD WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BE SENT TO LA-LA LAND AND ONLY ORDERED ENOUGH HALDOL TO PI$$ OFF THIS GUY. WELL, HAD I BEEN THE MD,I WOULD HAVE SENT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE FOR A BEVRAGE OF THE ALCOHOL FOOD GROUP,WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A P.O. BOLUS AND THEN WOULD HAVE PLACED HIM ON OUR DETOX PROTOCOL...YEAH,WE HAVE A PROTOCOL...AND IT WORKS...IF UTILIZED. WE ALSO HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC TREATMENT FACILITY IN THIS INSTITUTION...THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED. HAVING WORKED THS UNIT PRN,I SAID,...UMMMM...WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TAKING HIM,....OH,I SEE,ALL THE ACTIVE DRINKERS ARE ADMITTED FOM EVERY CORNER OF THIS STATE, AND YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM BECAUSE HE ISN'T DRINKING...!!!!!!! ALRIGHTY THEN...
    MY POINT...I HOLD THE MD RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS GUY'S ALCOHOLISM FROM DAY ONE AND FOR IGNORING THE PLEAS OF STAFF TO PLACE HIM ON THE PROTOCOL IMMEDIATELY. IS THIS NOT CALLED NEGLIGENCE AND ISN'T IT A SHAME THAT WE CANNOT INITIATE LITIGATION AGAINST THE MD FOR ENDANGERMENT OF STAFF...
    THERE I GO AGAIN...VERY TIRED...'SCUSE ME...
    WOULD RATHER TAKE CARE OF A PACK OF RABID WOLVES THAN BE "WATCHING " FOR SYMPTOMS OF DT'S AND HAVING REQUESTS FOR ESTABLISHED PROTOCOLS IGNORED. I HAVE ALL IDEAS THESE PATIENTS ARE TRULY SUFFERING,AND IT IS MY JOB TO ALEVIATE THE SYMPTOMS,BUT NO LONGER WILL I RISK MY A$$ OR MY EARNING POTENTIAL DUE TO THE STUPIDITY OF AN EDUCATED IDIOT!!!!!!!!







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