Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Cepachol throat candy, prn

i thought this was funny but one of the nurses on the unit was going to have this doc written up.

had a patient with alzheimers. he was restrained fully...arms, legs, vest because he kept pulling at his tubes.

poor guy didnt know what was going on. he stopped urinating. all he knew was that ppl kept coming in his room while he was tied up and did things with his penis. countless tries and we could not get a foley in. he screamed and called us names. i got kicked in the stomach when we let his leg lose...but still i never got angry. i dunno seemed kinda funny coming from that perspective.
after all this a doc comes in and he is trying to insert a catheter.
the patient gets REALLY mad and starts accusing the doc of being gay and playing with his penis.
the doc got all tongue tied and you could see he was really mad.
he stopped trying to put in the foley.

on the chart he wrote:
pt needs foley--will be ****** without one.

well i didnt say it was appropriate...i just thought it was funny. and although it caused no harm im sure ms beotch had him written up.

"Root beer float q.h.s. prn."

Honest to God. In a hospital. MD said we should make it. At this time, on the med-surg unit, there was one RN, one LPN and one aide for 18 pts. We didn't point out that he left out the route in his order.

We had a patient once who was an alcoholic and a COPDer. The doc, a pulmonologist, would write..Black Velvet, 30cc Q6hrs,prn..I am NOT kidding either. The pharmacy had to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of BV and then we had to keep it locked in the narc cupboard and sign out each shot of BV!!!!

Kelly

I'd rather give him that than deal w/ DTs!

Hey, better a "shot"q6hr than withdrawl. Withdrawl can get really ugly and Depending on the patients age and severity of his medical problems it could be fatal.

We have several frequent flyer alcoholics that come into the ED for various reasons. Well our standard of care states that no one can leave the ER with a Blood Etoh of >100 unless a "responsible"adult comes to sign the patient out. On several of our "older"alcoholics who routinely show up with Blood Etoh's of <500, the Er doctors write specific orders to discharge patient when he can state his social security number backwards. We don't do repeat ETOH levels on them for fear that if we actually kept them until their Etoh level was >100, they'd start seeing pink elephants, and then we'd all be in trouble.

a frustrated doc who was "attacked" when he came to the floor with a list of questions from several nurses turned and told all the nurses, "percocet for all patients, valium for all nurses"

Baked potato p.o. BID

ultrasound lle. r/o dvd