10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

[sharann]

Very, very funny and true!

If I may add one more:

"Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

"How much tail do you want?" (asking a surgeon how much of the tail of a silicone ear patch he wants left on).

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

"Suck for me" (suctioning for a surgeon)

[Tanvi Tusti]

"Open your legs for me and try to relax, it makes it so much easier for me to get it in and is much better for you".... my little speech when preparing a woman for her pap smear!! Never thought about how that sounds before now lol :monkeydance: :clown:

[augigi, CNS]

"This may make you gag, but just try to swallow".

Inserting NG tube.

[JBudd, MSN]

There isn't an orifice in the human body I haven't stuck a tube into.

[muffie, RN]

roll up your sleeves and pull down your pants and lie down on the bed so i can do my thing

[put in iv and shave groins]!

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

See if you can squeeze your nipple and get anything out.

(trying to get a disinterested baby to latch on...)

Please separate your knees so I can check you.

[AfloydRN, BSN, RN]

Blow harder- Respiratory. Hurry up and get those pants off- I haven't got all day. I have to restrain you. Drink this or else. Bend over let's get going. I didn't like the way he looked so I drugged him.

[niko1999 RN BSN]

Spread 'em so I can fit this thing in there(referring to fitting a wheelchair between the legs of a sit stand, or putting a pillow between a residents legs)

[spiceyqueen]

on a very slow evening shift, helping guys into bed, i said to one of the guys (a quad)."mate, do you prefer to get get undressed in the chair or on the bed?"didnt realise how bad it sounded till his wife started laughing and asking if am coming on to him or something

[TrickieTam]

I am gonna take your clothes off and look for abnormal places on your body (body audit)

[BJLynn]

"Just relax and this tube will go into your bum a lot easier"