10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

What about "I am going to stick my finger inside your rectum" for a rectal stim or digital removal of an impaction!:EEK:

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"Do you want to do it in the chair, or in the bed?"

(Heard from behind a curtain as someone was getting ready to give a patient bath)

How bout, "Eat it all up, that's right, good girl."........... Or, "I know it tastes bad, just plug your nose when you swallow."........I love this one: "Just push this and I'll come when you need me.".........There are so many, what a funny post, john. Too funny Athena, lol! Who'd a thought we would become poop experts when we first decided to be a nurse.......eeeeeeeewwwww

The funniest thing I think I ever heard was a young handsome resp. therapist tell an elderly lady... " honey put this in your mouth now suck don't blow!" He was assisting her with her incentive spirometer

Another incentive spirometer story: a bunch of us had a good laugh one day when a veteran nurse was heard urging her hard-of-hearing patient behind the curtain, "Come on, Harry--get it up for me one more time!!!Pleeease??"

The other night at work, our respiratory therapist was busy suctioning a patient. He had almost completed the job to his satisfaction, but wanted just a little more. He says to the patient (no kidding), "I'm going to go down on you one more time and get you all sucked out." I could not keep a straight face.

Ha Ha
How about, I have to stick this tube up your nose.
I'm going to rub some lotion on your body.

Incentive spirometers weren't always called that....when we first started using them regularly, one of the surgeons couldn't remember what the device was called when he wrote the order: "Suck balls QID".
I'll never forget the laugh we had after that one.

Can't stop rolling....Lmao...

isn't it great all the material incentive spirometers give for misquotes?

will share w/ my peers at work!

LMAO!