10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for - page 2

Very, very funny and true! If I may add one more: "Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)... Read More

  1. by   sonnie
    The funniest thing I think I ever heard was a young handsome resp. therapist tell an elderly lady... " honey put this in your mouth now suck don't blow!" He was assisting her with her incentive spirometer
  2. by   Stargazer
    Another incentive spirometer story: a bunch of us had a good laugh one day when a veteran nurse was heard urging her hard-of-hearing patient behind the curtain, "Come on, Harry--get it up for me one more time!!!Pleeease??"
  3. by   arbley
    The other night at work, our respiratory therapist was busy suctioning a patient. He had almost completed the job to his satisfaction, but wanted just a little more. He says to the patient (no kidding), "I'm going to go down on you one more time and get you all sucked out." I could not keep a straight face.
  4. by   susyqrn
    Ha Ha
    How about, I have to stick this tube up your nose.
    I'm going to rub some lotion on your body.
  5. by   chrn
    Incentive spirometers weren't always called that....when we first started using them regularly, one of the surgeons couldn't remember what the device was called when he wrote the order: "Suck balls QID".
    I'll never forget the laugh we had after that one.
  6. by   kennedyj
    Can't stop rolling....Lmao...
  7. by   HazeK
    isn't it great all the material incentive spirometers give for misquotes?

    will share w/ my peers at work!

    LMAO!
  8. by   Kare
    After dialysis the nurse removes all of the blood tubing from the machine. As I was helping I announced " I'm going to strip now"...the patient replied "Go ahead" ....Funny how the most innocent situations take on a different perspective...
  9. by   panda_181
    Okay, these are great! I never thought of how these things sound to other people!

    Amanda
  10. by   wildcherry
    Checking a pts. bottom I said, you have two open areas down here....the elderly woman replied, " yes ,I do. Don't you young lady?", then she turned to me and winked.
  11. by   Jay-Jay
    I actually said this to a male patient today: Spread your buttocks and your legs so I can get this in!

    I was packing a pilonidal cyst at the time....
  12. by   lactationrn
    1. I need to check your hemroids or
    2. lets see your perineum during postpartem exam
    3. can I watch you nurse your baby (when assessing infant sucking)
    4.If you cant pee on your own, I am going to have to put a tube in your penis (catheter insertion)

    I could go on for days!!!!
  13. by   lsellers
    How about " This is going to hurt but it will take care of the pain"

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