Did being unattractive hurt your career?

Nurses Career Support

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While I'm not trying to be a troll, I sometimes feel that for me, that may be true.

It's not my weight, it's my face mostly. I have had coworkers and pts complain about my face, saying I looked mean. One just told me I was ugly. I don't purposely look mean, it's just the way my face is.

I'm thinking I have a neutral face, but apparently it looks mean to others. One time, I had an interview at a ltc facility and the nursing supervisor came out, looked at me, and went back into his office. No hello, nothing.

I know, I figure folks are clueless when they make those comments and they really are trying to express concern. I try to find humor in it even if I find it insulting.

I'm 43 and look younger on the surface, but the way I wear my hair (unkempt bun/ponytail) combined with no makeup and the bags under my eyes that I've sported since nursing school don't help. No matter how irritated I am, I just try to laugh it off.

i refuse to wear makeup or wear lots of product in my hair.

I also have a scar on my cheek from when I had a lesion removed, I never had braces cause my family couldn't afford them when I was young, and I refuse to spend thousands on them at this stage in my life, so I have crooked teeth, and I don't dye my hair.

Whatever, I think attractiveness is all about attitude anyway, and I've been told I look great when I smile.

Just smile more. :)

Speaking as a patient a smile is often the best medicine a nurse can give you. As a patient when the hospital staff was cheerful, I had less pain and required less (actually no) pain medicine. When I was in a hospital where no one smiled, I requested my max allowed dose as often as I could get it, because my pain seemed worse. I had had similar surgeries in both instances.

Research has shown that a caller can "hear" a smile on the phone. Just the act of smiling when you speak on the phone changes your voice and the caller can detect the difference. The caller will consistently rate the conversation as more pleasant and positive.

Smiles are infectious and this is one infection that you want to spread.

Smile even when you don't feel like it. If you smile at each person you see, they will almost always return your smile. Pretty soon your smile won't be fake, because you will be receiving genuine smiles in response.

People who smile are perceived to be more attractive.

I know I sound like "Suzy sunshine," but it works.

Or just stop, look them dead in the eye, and say, "Thanks. You just made my day!" without a smile, but continue the eye contact until it becomes uncomfortable. Then, turn and walk out.

Sure, you'll look like 'Grumpy Cat' doing it, but what the heck?

And...

"Smile and they will wonder what you have been up to..."

"Look mean and they will wonder what you might do next (possibly to them, since you hold their care in your hands)..."

Depending on the situation, either works for me :)

As for me...

I have extremely thin hair (karma for when I stated in my youth, "There's nothing worse than a bald woman!")

I am graying at the temples (but, I've earned it, so it stays!)

I have a dry-eye condition which keeps me from wearing mascara (so I look like I have lost my eye lashes as well!)

I have developed an allergy to even hypoallergenic cosmetics, even lipgloss (which sits right under your nose, where you breathe it in all day long!) I can wear Vaseline, however!

And, my teeth are nothing to smile about, so they are rarely showcased in a toothy grin.

All this would really bother me, if it were not for the hours I have saved by having a practically non-existent grooming routine.

I am literally 'wash and wear' out of the shower- no need to iron :)

When I had my youngest son one year ago, my L&D nurse had an intimidating appearance. In reality, she was so wonderful and went above and beyond to help me safely achieve a VBAC. She was an angel.

Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.

Me ugly??? Please!!!! Look at the avatar! Who can resist that face?:roflmao:

I'm sorry you go through this, but I guess it's one of those situations where you we are always wondering what the other side is like... Red heads want to be blonds, blonds want black hair etc...

I have always been considered attractive at 5'2" and about 115llb, blond, blue eyes but I feel it hurts my career at times. When working with male nurses or around any males I have to be more careful to make sure what I say is not misunderstood, even though I've been married forever... I also look younger than I am and that doesn't help! I have overheard previous people who work in other units commenting, "isn't she hot!" I downplay my looks as much as I can, but trust me, theres bad to both sides of this situation...

Not trying to start a debate, just letting everyone know its not as easy as it seems "being attractive." I do understand your issues though, I'm just saying, we have issues too...

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

I turn red so easy. People assume I am sick, have high BP (I do but it is treated), or that I am angry. I turn red so incredibly easy. The constant questions used to irritate me. I just answer that I am fine, and change the subject. I don't let it show in my voice that I am annoyed. I also get the "smile" comment from people too. I usually just say "Just thinking or concentrating", smile a little and go back to what I was doing.

I'm sorry you go through this, but I guess it's one of those situations where you we are always wondering what the other side is like... Red heads want to be blonds, blonds want black hair etc...

I have always been considered attractive at 5'2" and about 115llb, blond, blue eyes but I feel it hurts my career at times. When working with male nurses or around any males I have to be more careful to make sure what I say is not misunderstood, even though I've been married forever... I also look younger than I am and that doesn't help! I have overheard previous people who work in other units commenting, "isn't she hot!" I downplay my looks as much as I can, but trust me, theres bad to both sides of this situation...

Not trying to start a debate, just letting everyone know its not as easy as it seems "being attractive." I do understand your issues though, I'm just saying, we have issues too...

Well, I've been on both sides of that fence (and right now I'm sorta just straddling the middle) and I can say with certainty that the "ugly" side is far more painful than the "pretty" side.

I've suffered from this problem in the past. I'm not a nurse yet but in general on the job people made comments that I always looked too serious, or mean etc. I spend a lot of time in the mirror practicing what looks appealing, heart warming, fun, approachable etc. After doing it a lot I can pretty much make same gestures (be it with my face/body etc) on the spot in front of patients. I'm currently a massage therapist.

Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.

Seriously, I would say my career has hurt my physical appearance. With all of the stress, my face broke out like no other....until I cut my days down to next to nothing. Now, my mirror tells me that I'm the fairest of them all and I couldn't be more pleased....especially when I ignore the ringing phone. So lighten up because there is ALWAYS someone worse off. If its causing a problem on your job, then your job is the stepping stone for the moment.

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