From the Other Side of the Bed Rails - When the Nurse Becomes the Patient

I had an interesting experience today. I walked into a hematology/oncology office ......... but this time as the patient. It’s strange how much different it feels when you, the nurse, suddenly become the patient. It looks much different through the patient’s eyes.

I looked around at the people in the waiting room, wondering……. what’s wrong with that lady? Does she have cancer? Poor thing. Then I thought… Gee….. Maybe she’s wondering the same thing about me. I wanted to reassure her that I was not really sick…… just something wrong with my blood. I don’t have cancer…… nothing that bad…… But what do I have?? I have been asking myself this for several weeks…… since the day that I realized that something wasn’t quite right. Then when my blood tests came back abnormal and my primary care physician referred me to a hematologist…. who just happens to be an oncologist…….. that just seemed very strange. Hey…… I am the one who helps other people deal with this kind of information. But now it’s me.

The nurse who took me back to the room was very nice. In fact, everyone was very nice. Very soft spoken and reassuring. Again, I wanted to tell them…… I’m not sick….. not really. Not like the other patients. But still, I wondered……. what will they find out is wrong with me?? Oh….. it’s probably nothing. Nothing really bad……. or at least I hope and pray. Prayer……… been doing a whole lot of that lately. Oh I always pray…. but it’s usually for other people.

Then came the questions. Oh I hope I remember to tell him everything. What was that he just said??? Hmmm…….. I’m having trouble remembering the order in which things happened. I hope I don’t sound like an idiot. I am a nurse and should know this stuff. Oh yeah….. I remember reading about that when I was googling things trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Good thing I brought my notebook with my list of questions. Now why did he ask that? Does he think I have that??? Oh my. He wants to order what test??? Why??? When will I get the results………..

Then I was ushered to the lab. Again……. the lab tech was very nice and reassuring. But when I saw all of the vials that she was going to fill with my blood……… I did get a little queasy. The tourniquet felt tight….. I turned my head. Ouch….. it did pinch a bit. How long is this going to take?? Sure…. I’m fine. I would sure be embarrassed if I fainted. I have to go where to get what other test?? Why? Where exactly do I go? When? OK. Come back in 3 weeks??? Seems like a long time to wait. OK. Sure that date is fine. Wonder what I’ll find out then??????


This is not the first time I have been on the receiving end of medical care……..on the other side of the bed rails, so to speak. Each time, I learn something new….something I can use to make me a better nurse….. treating others as I would wish to be treated. Today, I realized how much a reassuring and caring voice means to a patient who may be afraid of what they might hear or what they might experience. It might seem like a small thing when we as nurses take a few more minutes to offer compassionate caring……to meet the emotional needs of the patient…….but to the patient, it helps alleviate some of the worries and fears, thereby lowering the stress level. While we can’t always offer a solution or reason why things are happening, we can always take the time to show genuine compassion.