Saying I'm Sorry - Page 3Register Today!
- Nov 7, '12 by JennbrangThank you-I all need to hear this to remind me that I cannot "do" everything. Our pts need us to be human beings with compassion.
I want to thank you.
In that moment you showed me.
You showed me that I could not fix this alone.
You showed me that when you or I are out of answers, God has them.
You showed me that this was more about you and your sorrow than about what nursing and medicine as professions failed or succeeded in doing.
The answers to the whys of your sorrow, the solution- if there is one, only the Lord knows.
You showed me how to be a nurse tonight.
Tonight the only human action I had left to do was to kneel down beside you, hand you a Kleenex, and say, ďI am so, so sorry.Ē
And crying with you, we try again. [/QUOTE]
- Nov 7, '12 by tnbutterfly*******ADMIN NOTE/REQUEST********
This is an article about a spiritual event that this author shared with her patient. The topic is quite appropriate for this forum (Nursing and Spirituality) and is very much nursing-related. The article was read by and approved by the administrative staff before being posted.
Members are free to disagree with anything that is posted within any forum. However, we request that comments not be rude or divisive. If you find spiritual topics not to your liking, then I suggest you move on to other forums/threads and refrain from making rude off-topic remarks.
To quote the Terms of Service:
Our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. There is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. We will not tolerate anyone insulting other's opinion nor name calling.
Our call is to be supportive, not divisive. Because of this, discrimination, racial vilification and offensive generalizations targeting people of other races, religions and/or nationalities will not be tolerated.
Thank you for your cooperation
- Nov 7, '12 by Esme12Just as we all have the right to vote and voice our opinions....we have the right to our beliefs and opinions. I think the OP, while telling her very personal journey, is well written and heart felt. I think we need to be respectful of each others opinions and thoughts to the context they are offered. The OP has her own personal tool for dealing with the difficulties in life.....in HER life. That she has found to be successful for HER. She chooses God....her religion. At no time did her beliefs interfere with the patient nor did she try to impose her beliefs on the patient by forcing her thoughts upon the patient or others. She used this tool to find that extra something we all need in this profession to get through the next moment and heartbreaking scenario. She used this as an internal fortification for herself.
We all have different beliefs and coping mechanisms........Some of us choose drugs, some choose alcohol, some choose humor , while other choose sarcasm, hated and intolerance. While others utilize a smattering of them all to cope with life's daily pitfalls and the starkness of humanity that we are exposed to everyday. That the OP choose her personal religion is HER choice and has a right to not have that choice demeaned and ridiculed. She felt the spirituality of her situation and wanted to share that moment with others to maybe help someone of like mind....but mostly to share her grief, frustration, and respect for this one patient.
We ALL have those moments that we just think......I just can't go back in that room....they break my heart just to look at them.....I just can't see there raw agony and pain for another moment. we all have that "something" special.....that somewhere special we draw from. This person chooses her religion....it works for her so she went to the Spirituality forum and shared her thoughts.
She had courage to share her most personal feeling and beliefs.....a trait I admire.
This thread is NOT about religion but it IS about one nurses heartbreaking moment and how she found a way to ease her patients journey. In HER way........I find that admirable.
Empathy is a very difficult thing to teach a child.....for they are hard wired to be self surviving and narcissistic.....so their needs are seen to before anyone elses as a means to assure survival. One of the proudest moments as a parent was my daughters first day of kindergarten.....a little girl was crying inconsolably. As I was trying to have the stiff upper lip to be the example for my baby girl who has never been away from me........my sweet baby suddenly let go of my hand that I was desperately holding on to because I didn't want to let go (yes I'm selfish).......She ran to that little girl whom she had NEVER seen before.....hugged her and told her she didn't need to be afraid her Mommy will be back.....she said in her best little girl voice...."Please don't cry, you aren't alone, I'll be your friend....your Mommy will be right back after school and I'm your bestest friend forever." I was dumfounded....my husband smiled and looked at me and said....the apple is never far from the tree.
I also teach my children....if you have nothing nice to say, you say nothing at all.
Some of us come by empathy and understanding while others work at it.....but we need to be respectful of each individual process. If that involves GOD then it involves GOD for that person......if it doesn't for you that is fine....... but don't got to the spirituality section and expect not to see the word GOD or stories about spirituality. It is not our right to pass judgement on what is right or wrong about the process and to make harsh judgements from our own personal process when it differs from someone else.......making one person more right than the other.
We need to be respectful and supportive of each individuals process. Show empathy for our fellow man and support each other in what is a very difficult profession. We are so very accepting of our patients we need to show that same courtesy to our peers.
This post is about one persons personal story about a particular patient and how she found her inner strength. It is well written and well said.....let's be respectful of this.
- Nov 7, '12 by DSkelton711Wonderful and beautiful words. Thank you.
- Nov 7, '12 by tokebiThat was a very moving story. Thank you for sharing it. Even if I'm not religious, I can empathize with the feeling of despair at our own helplessness and limitations. God or not, religion or not, the emotions are the same -- we are all human.
- Nov 7, '12 by Guttercat"You Christians..." Love the blatant bigotry in that post. Hateful.
It was a beautiful story shared from the OP's own experience of dealing with the situation.
- Nov 7, '12 by MelelaI do not believe in god one bit- but the sentiment of the story was beautiful. If you don't believe, insert your own reason for what keeps you going and making the right choices and its no different from the very core of what the OP is trying to convey
- Nov 7, '12 by NursertonI have to admit I was not a big fan of this post, not because I don't believe in God, but because it seemed to be admonishing the already overworked nurse for not being MORE caring, MORE compassionate, more more more. Seems like as nurses what we do is just never good enough and, apparently, we should feel bad about it. Yes, this patient needed care, some therapeutic listening, etc. But that doesn't diminish the nurse's needs as a human either.
- Nov 7, '12 by GrnTeaQuote from Spidey's momIf one accessed this post from the list of Likes/Replied Tos on the right, there is no indication where the link leads other than the title of the piece. I know I never notice until I read a piece and then go to click on the top links to the rest of the forum, and that's when I discover I've wandered into...whatever.As someone already mentioned, this was placed in the spirituality section . . . . . . what did YOU expect?
Perhaps the destination forum (or its abbreviation) could be appended to those links?
- Nov 7, '12 by Spidey's momQuote from GrnTeaGranted this is small but it is above the title:If one accessed this post from the list of Likes/Replied Tos on the right, there is no indication where the link leads other than the title of the piece. I know I never notice until I read a piece and then go to click on the top links to the rest of the forum, and that's when I discover I've wandered into...whatever.
Perhaps the destination forum (or its abbreviation) could be appended to those links?
General Nursing > Nursing and Spirituality > Saying I'm Sorry - page 3
I don't really know how to fix it so folks would realize the forum they have accessed.