Religion

[x4livin]

I work float pool at a larger hospital, and 2 days a week I have been in acute care rehab(mostly ortho). I have a patient who began to ask multiple questions about myself and evey other nurse here as soon as she got here. eg where are you from? what is your last name? do you know 'so n so'? where do you go to church. Well, apparently, I am the only person who gave her an answer to that that she seems to find displeasing. I don't go to church. She wanted me to drive 40 minutes to her church. I told her that is a bit far. She persisted in trying to convince me that I needed Jesus. I asked her to stop. Finally I got angry and snapped at her "I am not discussing religion with you". She got quiet and soon after appologised for "making me feel uncomfortable"(for 3 weeks now, consistantly) Today is my last day with her here. She has written out cards to all the nurses. Hand written thank you cards. The one she sent out to me states that basically for my own good, she hopes I come to see that her religion(southern baptist) is the only way to avoid burning in hell out of ignorance. I realize she went to the trouble of writing out a card, but it just really ****** me off. I have been a nurse for 15 years(and a nurse aid for 10 before that), and I don't think anyone has made me angry over anything religious in all those years. This woman is just so pushy and persistant. I can't walk in her room that she doesn't begin to tell me that God sent her here to save me.(I'm not antichrist or athiest, by the way, I just really prefer not to discuss it) I'm not sure how I could have handled it any better from the beginning. She was just making conversation. Now, I have vowed to never discuss it with a pt again. I will cite that my employers state that it's not professional or something. Any ideas on how to avoid this topic and not set off suspicion that will lead to more questions?

Sorry about the spelling and grammer..end of a very long night shift.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

Why did this woman get to you so much?

At least the woman cares enough about you that she wants to save your soul! Seriously, don't fret about it, and for crying out loud, don't take it so personally. Just let it go. If you're secure in your religious/spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof), why should it bother you? Just steer the conversation away from yourself and be done with it.

The OP would have been better off to let it go, but I would have been insulted by the pt's insistence too. The pt is saying that the OP is second best. Not as good as. Flawed. Damaged. Whatever word you want to attach. The constant battering from someone who considered themselves superior to myself would have made me real mad.

It never would have started with me though. I would have agreed with whatever the pt said in the first place. I do not owe any pt. the truth about my life outside of work.

[DogWmn]

Here in the southern bible belt I run into the harping ALOT, I always tell them I do not discuss religion in my work place - politely.

Personally I find the bible thumpers really offensive but there is nothing you can do about it in the work place other than to refuse to discuss it. Like a prior poster stated - can we call your minister/priest for you and leave it at that.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

but i believe in god and accepted him into my heart!!! i'm am not afraid of the gospel of jesus christ

you can't be afraid of something you don't believe in.

op- agree, agree, agree, and then leave. policy says you can't talk about religion, but she's welcome to rant at will. don't give your own personal information (per hospital policy). distract her with lots of patient teaching. act very busy, and step out frequently. even better- mention your friend that works elsewhere who is looking for a church, and put her onto a coworker, lol.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

I'm a New York City Protestant atheist married to a New York City Jewish atheist. We are now living in Texas and I have not had any problems. I work in hospice, with a lot of fundamentalists, and simply smile when it comes up. I sit quietly when there's a prayer, have joined prayer circles when attending deaths, and will allow people to think I share their faith. It's about them and their comfort, not mine.

I smile a whole lot.

[46oldnewrn]

Ahhh BluegrassRN, Just quoting you and love it!! " If you're secure in your religious/spiritual beliefs, why should it bother you?" Love it, Love it, Love it!!!!!! I frankly can sleep with myself fine at night, with my self. I treat people with respect, and deeply care for everyone I take care of.

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

well, you are being asked to go to this person's church. why not find one closer to your home. i personally know where she is coming from. if you don't believe in god that's okay with you. if you don't want to accept him into your heart that's your choice. but i believe in god and accepted him into my heart!!! i'm am not afraid of the gospel of jesus christ

i'm a born again christian, aiight.

but if you said this to me and you didn't know my beliefs, i would, (even as a christian) walk away from you or at the very least change the subject.

you don't talk to your patients like this, right?

right?

[roeth]

I agree with turning the conversation back to the patient. It may be difficult, but we all need to respect other people's beliefs or lack of even if they are obnoxious about it. One person like this patient does not sum up all Southern Baptists to be have the same personality or persistence to convert.

[hiddencatRN, BSN, RN]

Honestly, I just lie if asked directly about my religion. I'm an atheist but was raised Catholic so if the question comes up in a situation where I don't want to be pressed to explain myself or deal with being evangelized to, I just say I'm Catholic and smile and nod until the conversation turns course.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

I'm not agnostic/atheist, I'm Catholic in the rural south. And they like me just about as much. I can't tell you how many people want me to go to their church, that if I saw the "real Christians" I'd feel different, etc. If a patient brings it up, "Where do you go to church, where are you from, and who are your people" are the major ice breakers in a conversation, I tell them my dad was military so I'm not from here, my family lives out of state (most do), and don't get into religion. If they ask me about church, I tell them I go every Sunday I'm not working, and try not to bring up any more specifics by using a lot of redirection.

To the OP, the patient may have decided to make you her "project" while she was in rehab. My Pentecostal grandma was that way. They are irritating beyond words with the "I know better than you, you're going to hell" stuff (you didn't like it from the patient, try getting it from your grandma). When I get invited to someone's church, I tell them I usually work weekends, and go to my own church on the Sundays when I'm off. Maybe you could find something along those lines -- Sundays you volunteer at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, whatever. Then redirect, quick.

Sorry for the troubles. This job's hard enough without this kind of thing.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I am a Christian, but I separate work and church. I do not want to hear about their religion or tell about mine at work. However, usually it is enough to smile and not respond. I do not want to offend anyone. Sometimes I take it as if the other person is showing concern for me, and that is ok, but I would not indulge personal information to anyone at work, religion or otherwise.

[rngolfer53]

................Even better- mention your friend that works elsewhere who is looking for a church, and put her onto a coworker, LOL.

But, be warned, if you sic her on me, be prepared to find out firsthand, and soon, if her beliefs of any afterlife are valid.

[rngolfer53]

They are irritating beyond words with the "I know better than you, you're going to hell" stuff (you didn't like it from the patient, try getting it from your grandma).

I wouldn't say this to a Pt or family, but I have to persistent bible thumpers who stop one on the street. When they tell me I'm going to hell, I smile and enthuse, "Well, we'll meet again."

So far, it's left them at a loss for words long enough for me to get those "three steps toward the door."