It's not my job to pray with you.

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I am not religious. I do not pray. If praying makes you feel good then awesome. Do that. When patients are religious and need spirutual support, I am the first one to find their local pastor/rabbi/medicine man/etc. for them. This is how I can support my patient. I do not feel however, that I should be pressured to say prayers. yes, I will give my patient space and quiet time to pray if they want, but i don't feel it's my job to pray with patients. I feel this is over the line.

I am just seeing this post for the first time and I am new to this site. I'd like to ask kickatthedark what is "the line" that dares not be crossed. Can you please describe it and what would be the result were it crossed?

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Bellini,

Thank you for this post! It is very helpful and reinforces my thoughts on many levels, as well.

THANK YOU!

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I am not religious. I do not pray. If praying makes you feel good then awesome. Do that. When patients are religious and need spirutual support, I am the first one to find their local pastor/rabbi/medicine man/etc. for them. This is how I can support my patient. I do not feel however, that I should be pressured to say prayers. yes, I will give my patient space and quiet time to pray if they want, but i don't feel it's my job to pray with patients. I feel this is over the line.

I am religious, but I agree with you. I am more than willing to page or call chaplain services for them if they want it. The chaplain's job is to help provide whatever spiritual or religious support a patient needs and wants. They are specially trained to help religious and non-religious people in that area. I'm not. Being an Orthodox Christian, most people around me, being Evangelical, would likely not like my prayers anyway. That said, I do sometimes pray for my patients, they just never know/realize it. I'm not there to convince anyone of my beliefs or push that on them (or be pressured into capitulating to their specific beliefs). I'm there to be their nurse.

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In the past, when people have asked me to pray with them, I've said, "I'll stay here with you while you pray."

This seems like the best possible approach, IMHO. It gently implies/suggests that you will remain silent while they pray, but also offers support and shows respect for their beliefs. As an atheist, I'd be happy to offer this level of support. However, if I was asked to actually speak the prayer or pray over them or something, then that wouldn't feel appropriate to me, simply because I wouldn't believe a word I was saying :confused:

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Oh wow. Well, what OP said is okay, it's her right, but the real question that comes to mind is: what will she do when noone else is available to fulfill the spiritual needs?

I'm agnostic, but when someone asks me to pray with them (happened once during night shift, so noone else immediately around), I do it. I think well-being of the patient goes above your own religion/beliefs and I believe in the holistic approach (mind, body and spirit). If he finds hope in praying, (and I have like 5 minutes of time and noone else is there to do it with them) I'll do it. I try to be selfless, and try to set my personal beliefs aside. Plus: I can't say no to elder people, asking that to me with a smile on their face and sparkles in their eyes. I asked the man to pray for me, because I didn't knew the words.

Stuff like this becomes more important in palliative care units. There u sometimes become more than a nurse, it's an emotional rollercoaster for everyone involved: nurse, patients, family. I must admit though, they wanted me to stay in the palliative care unit, but, I couldn't do it.

There, they expected of the nurses that for every deceased patient u cared for (they were months or even a year in there), u wrote a personal statement about your patient at a mass held for the deceased patients on the ward, organised by the head nurse after the official funeral. You had to read it aloud and had to attend that whole mass/memorial. That was a bit too much for me (emotion wise- and also time wise). I'd also rather wash the deceased patients of the other nurses, than my own patients, because there is a real bond between you and the people you cared so long for. And they were gone. For me it was easier and no issue whatsoever to wash corpses from people I didn't knew well. What kept me going was that washing the corpse was the last thing you could do for them and their family.

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Specializes in ED, med-surg, peri op.

I'm not religious at all. But I think it's important to be there for your pt. it's no different than sitting with them listening to them or holding there hand when they are scared. Praying is how they get comfort.

No long ago there was a death, which is a big deal for Maori people who have big traditions with death. They wanted me to be a part of the karakai, so I stayed silently hold there hands and hugged them. It was tough not to burst in to tears and get emotional, but 5 mins later it was over and I know I did my duty. Which actually help me with the death too.

Silently being with them is all you need to do, especially if it's some whose critically ill. But when they actually ask you to say a pray or more then hand it over. But a standing there for a couple of minutes with them is not much to ask when it's going to do so much for them.

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Nursing requires care for the whole being. I am a spiritual person, I am totally against religion. Religion is the cause for all of this separation from God, but that is another story. If a patient request prayer and one feels they are not capable of providing that care to the patient they should direct the person to someone who will pray for them. Normally there is at least one person on the floor who prays. Someone who prays most likely will be very willing to pray for a patient.

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I totally agree with you. Religion makes me so uncomfortable, and before I came upon this post I honestly thought that all nurses would be required to show some kind of spiritual support.

But I guess not.

OP is supportive. She calls the appropriate spiritual/religious worker.

If she wanted to, she could tell the pt that she is not religious and doesn't feel right getting involved in prayer or doesn't want to hinder the pt's own prayers because of her own lack of sharing the pt's faith/beliefs. Or just keep on doing what she's doing - honor the pt's views and need for spiritual assstance and facilitating same.

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I'm not religious and have no particular belief system but if I have the time and it doesn't involve sacrificing a lamb I would pray to a sun god if a patient requested, a minute of my time goes miles for them. I haven't been asked in a long time, though.

They probably heard the bleating and saw the knife and altar and figured tomorrow would be another day, LOL.

Just kidding, Libby. I respect and appreciate your views and your (I assume, tell me if I'm wrong) humor.

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Your example doesn't really apply. One can't access rx medication without the pharmacist (and you might be thinking of RU-486, since the "morning after pill" is available over the counter), but people are entirely capable of praying alone. They might like someone with them (for what, an audience??), but they don't need someone with them in order to be able to pray.

No, not an audience. Fellowship, focus, God promising to be present when 2 or 3 are gathered together in His name, which doesn't mean He's not there when we are alone, just that companionship is something most of us need and crave, especially when we are afraid. We appreciate the caring that other people provide.

I don't think people are always entirely capable of praying alone. Fear, depression, medications, pain all affect us and not usually/necessarily favorably.

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).

Kooky, what you said here is very insightful. While most people under normal circumstances are perfectly capable of praying on their own - A person who is sick, dying or afraid might need someone to help them. It is the unique function of the nurse according to Henderson to assist the individual, sick or well, in the performance of those activities contributing to health or its recovery (or to peaceful death) that he would perform unaided if he had the necessary strength, will or knowledge to do so.

I have no problem praying with my patients - I have prayed with Christians, Muslim, Jewish people, Hindi, American Indians and even a WICCA or two . I may not always believe completely in their faith but I find prayer to be calming and restful. It brings me closer to my patients and allows me to share a unique experience with them.

I find it interesting that people who claim to not believe in God get so upset by someone else's belief. It's not like it hurt's you in any way to stop and bow your head with a person who is suffering. To quote a line from a novel I once read "It doesn't matter if you don't believe in God because He believes in you."

Peace and Namaste

Hppy

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Specializes in OB.

Nurses who profess to certain religious beliefs rightfully expect others to respect that there are certain procedures in which they will not participate.

I think it equally valid that others may feel that their personal ethics prevent them from participating in prayers in a way that gives the impression of belief. They are due equal respect.

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