How would you comfort a dying atheist?

Nurses Spirituality

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Also, do you think it is okay to respect the religious views of other family members , like praying, last rites... if they insist it be done?

Specializes in ER, ICU.
Im am so sad to see so many atheists. I too wish everyone could feel the peace I know. the very reason I became a nurse was to share the good news. I will not push it on you , but I will share and I will pray for you.and if asked I would lead prayer.

It is very condescending to tell us how sad you are. I'm totally at peace with my spirituality but I would never put yours down by telling you how sad I am that you are making the wrong choices.

I find your question a bit odd, as I've comforted many dying people of differing faiths. You hold their hand, talk to them, and do your best to comfort them. Sometimes that means bringing in a shaman, priest, or minister (seen them all), or whatever the patient needs.

Specializes in none.
It is very condescending to tell us how sad you are. I'm totally at peace with my spirituality but I would never put yours down by telling you how sad I am that you are making the wrong choices.

I find your question a bit odd, as I've comforted many dying people of differing faiths. You hold their hand, talk to them, and do your best to comfort them. Sometimes that means bringing in a shaman, priest, or minister (seen them all), or whatever the patient needs.

That is very considerate of her to think of us as Human Beings. I hope her holy man is there for her last hours on this earth and not an atheist. We would do the same thing her holy man would do only we wouldn't ask her family for a donation after she dies.

As an atheist I find it insulting for people to say they think it's sad to see so many atheists. Atheists have purpose and know peace. Atheists know that life on earth is the only life we get and as such, each day is a gift-not to be wasted and we know that when you make a mistake there is no second chance, no shrugging it off as "meant to be". This makes one very aware of the consequences of actions and more sensitive to causing pain and suffering. We are also a group that deserves the same respect and consideration as all cultural groups.

Atheists may not believe in a God or a heaven, we find our peace in what we accomplished on earth. You don't need to believe that there is a world after death to find peace and satisfaction in the life you lived. This is what you need to realize when comforting a dying atheist. Helping them to find peace and closure is important, just like with any other dying person. If there is something they need to do, someone they need to see, or something they need to say-that would be important. Comfort, empathy, and RESPECT for the dying person are also important. Do not insult them by trying to force your beliefs on them or continually bringing up heaven or God to them, that's disrespectful.

I am what is called an agnostic. We believe in sort of higher intelligence wee just admit that we lack the wherewithal to comprehend such an omnipotent concept.

People believe what they do primarily as a source of peace, security, predictability and purpose.

Belief is a very individualized thing and one individual telling another individual that their belief is bollocks is never going to be productive. As nurses we are patient advocates and we are to support the patient's belief system. It is not about us. Our opinions in the clinical setting are 100 percent irrelevent.

As a nurse it is our job to perform a spiritual assessment on the patient ans then to intervene per thee plan of care that we have developed in collaboration with the patient.

So what we say or do to comfort a dying patient is going to vary from praying, to telling dirty jokes........there is no correct answer.......

I would also like to add that nurses bashing eachother, either on the unit or here on these forums does little to further our profession. We need to be united and advocate for our profession and for eachother. Infighting causes cracks in our foundation and gives outsiders a chance to fingerpoint and say AHA, those nurses sure can be a wacky lot........

lets all stand tall and united together.

Specializes in ..

Since when does a nurse's role include imparting his or her religion on others? especially on a person who is a captive audience? (No one is more captive than a patient on his deathbed.) I don't recall any religous classes as part my nursing education, nor did any employer tell me it was part of my job as a nurse to share my religious beliefs with any patient. Not only is it inappropriate, it is unethical. No matter how convinced anyone is that their religion is the 'truth', there are many others who believe a different 'truth' and who are just as convinced they are right. And, no matter what you were taught as a child there is no proof that your religious teaching is more valid than the teachings of other religions--or valid at all. Religion is a belief system, simply that--a belief system--not an undisputed truth.

It's unfortunate that anyone would think that their beliefs should be forced upon a dying person--or any patient for that matter. If these patients wanted to be ministered to, they would contact clergy and request prayers or consult with a minister, rabbi, or religious person of their choosing--not a nurse who wants to play minister to a captive audience. If you really want to spread the word of your religion, do so on your own time, when you're off work, and make sure your audience is receptive and willing to hear your message.

Specializes in PICU, NICU, L&D, Public Health, Hospice.

Good point, Patty.

It is NOT part of our profession to preach, proselytize, or promote one belief over another. We must learn how to set aside our PERSONAL beliefs in order to fully hear what the patient and family need. We must be able to then discover how to offer those "things" regardless of our PERSONAL thoughts or beliefs.

Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist, Christian, Jew, Muslim, etc...people of all faiths practice nursing and work with persons of differing faith at end of life. The "good" practitioners can accomplish that without EVER revealing their personal attitudes to the patient or family if necessary, but only mirroring back the good and important things that the patient and family need to see to find peace in THEIR process.

Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.

Though I've not been a nurse to many deaths this far in my career, in my personal experience I've found that most atheists are more accepting and at peace with dealing with death than most believers. I personally don't believe in an afterlife, so comforting believers can be a tricky situation for me sometimes, but I do so with respect for their beliefs and situation, and I definitely don't pity them for fearing something I perceive as make-believe and rather hokey, and I DEFINITELY don't try to influence their beliefs in any way.

Many believers have a lot of trouble accepting that there are very happy, fulfilled atheists out there who will die in true peace without sharing your faith in God or afterlife, knowing that they have lived this life to the best of their ability and understanding.

Think of it this way: how would you want an atheist nurse to treat you on your deathbed?

As an atheist, the most insulting thing you could do to me on my deathbed would be to perform last rites or some other ritual to appease my family members or your own sense of spiritual justice. I am extremely offended when people think that I am going to "convert" on my deathbed or if they told me "god will forgive you." I just don't understand how people cannot fathom that some of us just don't buy into religion.

This may be difficult for some to understand but I find more comfort and solace in the fact that death is the end of my existance and a final resting place. I have never felt more at peace with myself when I came to my own understanding that this world is all their is, and that when it is my time to go, I will return to the earth and time will move forward just like it did before I was born. There is no special place for me to go, and I am just a single blip on time's radar. I am not afraid of death and non-existance. Sometimes I wonder and even think that as atheist, I am more comfortable with death then many theists. I am more afraid of pain or suffering or discomfort (such as gasping for breath), so comfort measures to make my passing as comfortable and as dignified as possible would be the best for me.

Specializes in ..

Sagremus, you bring up a good point about receiving comfort as a dying patient. Worse than comforting, these religious fanatics are torturing dying people. I wonder how these self-appointed ministers would feel if they were hospitalized, tethered to tubes and lines, unable to breathe easily--let alone speak in their own defense--and a member of another religion stood and subjected them to prayers, chants, lectures, smoldering incense, or condescending remarks about how pitiful they were and how sorry they felt that the poor patient was doomed to hell for not believing the 'right' doctrines?

I'm a fully capable, healthy person, quite able to verbally defend myself. But, I can feel my blood pressure rising and my heart racing when confronted by political or religious zealots who tell me how wrong I am in my positions or beliefs. I can only imagine the anxiety and torture I'd feel if I were hospitalized and dying, and some nurse (or doctor, or tech) came in to 'save' me. Talk about torturing a patient!!! I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my fingernails than hear the gospel of another religion or why my politics are so wrong.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatrics, Wound Care.

While I wasn't terminal. I did find myself gravely ill in the hospital and in significant pain. At some point, when they were pumping me with tons of fluids (9L or something in a day), I was afraid I'd end up in shock and would die. I didn't. I did wonder how I would feel about being put on life support at that point, if things got worse (and there was a reasonable chance of recovery). But, at no point did the idea of a deity cross my mind. I did realize there wasn't anything for me to do in the situation, which helped me relax and not worry too much. I think I would have been confused if someone tried to offer me "spiritual" help, I really do forget that some people truly believe in supernatural stuff.

But, for taking care of me while dying, I think the important things are making sure the immediate needs are met (pain, physically comfortable, breathing comfortably). I still don't have a living will made up, but, perhaps there would have been a time to discuss that stuff. (Mentally, I'm sure I was not that capable of making real decisions, but I'm sure at least my wishes could have been understood).

After I die, I really don't care what people chose to do with my body. If my family (not sure why since they're mostly nonbelievers) decided to have "spiritual" stuff done postmortem, it really wound't affect me at all.

Specializes in cardiac.

Yeah...why would you treat a dying atheist ANY different than anyone else? Do you go in trying to convert a dying Muslim or respectfully let him/her go in their own way? Please God, give me an atheist nurse when I die!

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