From the Other Side of the Bed Rails - When the Nurse Becomes the Patient

[tnbutterfly - Mary]

I looked around at the people in the waiting room, wondering... what's wrong with that lady? Does she have cancer? Poor thing. Then I thought... Gee... Maybe she's wondering the same thing about me. I wanted to reassure her that I was not really sick... just something wrong with my blood. I don't have cancer... nothing that bad... But what do I have? I have been asking myself this for several weeks... since the day that I realized that something wasn't quite right. Then when my blood tests came back abnormal and my primary care physician referred me to a hematologist.... who just happens to be an oncologist... that just seemed very strange. Hey... I am the one who helps other people deal with this kind of information. But now it's me.

The nurse who took me back to the room was very nice. In fact, everyone was very nice. Very soft spoken and reassuring. Again, I wanted to tell them... I'm not sick... not really. Not like the other patients. But still, I wondered...  what will they find out is wrong with me? Oh... it's probably nothing. Nothing really bad... or at least I hope and pray. Prayer... been doing a whole lot of that lately. Oh I always pray.... but it's usually for other people.

Then came the questions. Oh I hope I remember to tell him everything. What was that he just said? Hmmm... I'm having trouble remembering the order in which things happened. I hope I don't sound like an idiot. I am a nurse and should know this stuff. Oh yeah... I remember reading about that when I was googling things trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Good thing I brought my notebook with my list of questions. Now why did he ask that? Does he think I have that? Oh my. He wants to order what test? Why? When will I get the results...

Then I was ushered to the lab. Again... the lab tech was very nice and reassuring. But when I saw all of the vials that she was going to fill with my blood... I did get a little queasy. The tourniquet felt tight... I turned my head. Ouch..... it did pinch a bit. How long is this going to take? Sure... I'm fine. I would sure be embarrassed if I fainted. I have to go where to get what other test? Why? Where exactly do I go? When? OK. Come back in 3 weeks? Seems like a long time to wait. OK. Sure that date is fine. Wonder what I'll find out then?

This is not the first time I have been on the receiving end of medical care... on the other side of the bed rails, so to speak. Each time, I learn something new... something I can use to make me a better nurse... treating others as I would wish to be treated. Today, I realized how much a reassuring and caring voice means to a patient who may be afraid of what they might hear or what they might experience. It might seem like a small thing when we as nurses take a few more minutes to offer compassionate caring... to meet the emotional needs of the patient... but to the patient, it helps alleviate some of the worries and fears, thereby lowering the stress level. While we can't always offer a solution or reason why things are happening, we can always take the time to show genuine compassion.

To read more articles, go to my AN blog: Body, Mind, and Soul, Be the Nurse You Would Want as a Patient, From the Other Side of the Bed Rails - When the Nurse Becomes the Patient

[PediMommy]

My most recent experience was last weekend when my husband, my 1 year old daughter and myself were in a car accident. It wasn't severe just someone ran into us at a red light without even hitting the breaks. We were all okay but I was so scared about my daughter. She looked okay was acting okay but man that jolt hurt me I can't imagine her. So when the ambulance showed up (the other guys was worse off) I said please just check her out and the EMT said I can't touch her all I can say is she is alive you'll have to go to the ER for her to be checked out.

WOW! Can you assess her???? I knew she was fine I looked at her myself but at that momment I needed someone else to assure me she was fine. I didn't let them take her because she was okay plus I work for my daughters pedi dr so I just called her dr and she assessed her over the phone and told me the exact thing I tell my pt's when kids fall off the bed or have accidents. But in that momment I was not a nurse I was a mommy who needed reassurance!

A little compassion can go so far!

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

My most recent experience was last weekend when my husband, my 1 year old daughter and myself were in a car accident. It wasn't severe just someone ran into us at a red light without even hitting the breaks. We were all okay but I was so scared about my daughter. She looked okay was acting okay but man that jolt hurt me I can't imagine her. So when the ambulance showed up (the other guys was worse off) I said please just check her out and the EMT said I can't touch her all I can say is she is alive you'll have to go to the ER for her to be checked out.

WOW! Can you assess her???? I knew she was fine I looked at her myself but at that momment I needed someone else to assure me she was fine. I didn't let them take her because she was okay plus I work for my daughters pedi dr so I just called her dr and she assessed her over the phone and told me the exact thing I tell my pt's when kids fall off the bed or have accidents. But in that momment I was not a nurse I was a mommy who needed reassurance!

A little compassion can go so far!

Thanks for sharing. Yes it is particularly scary when our child is on the other side of the bedrails.

[criticalHP, MSN, RN]

Thank you for your unique point of view- I wish you well in the future...

[dscrn]

I hope that that's it for bloodwork for a long time. I would sa that the person who checked you in could have been a bit more diplomatic...and you handled it well. I'm afraid my response would have been that the doc is also a hemtologist..and that you were here tohave blood work. Let us know how you are doing...waiting can be really rough

[dscrn]

I think with our medical knowledge we might just intimidate...never giveup on your gut instincts

[dscrn]

Several years ago, I was dx'd by an ER doc that SOB was due to an axiety attack-gave me two xanex in hand, and rx fro a few more. When the hacking cough began, questioned doc who had sentme to ER-she said that another md had looked at xray (but ot me), and said that all was ok. My pulmonary md luckily was able to see me,and dx'd pneumonia/pneumonitis-took months to resolve..WE MUST BE PROACTIVE FOR OUR OWN HEALTH

[NedineNursingStudent]

I too have been in a position similar to that. I started nursing school (ADN program at a local community college) in August and was diagnosed with a rare type cancer in January. Two surgeries, 30 rounds of radiation, and 12 treatments of PT I think I have a better understanding as a nursing student how to treat all kinds of pts. Even when they are not admitted for more serious illnesses, it is important for all of us to remember how much of an impact that illness is having on their lives and who else it is effecting in the family and friends. I was fortunate enough to have family and friends support me the entire way, but we also need to be there as the pt advocate and make sure they have someone they can talk with about the illness.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

i too have been in a position similar to that. i started nursing school (adn program at a local community college) in august and was diagnosed with a rare type cancer in january. two surgeries, 30 rounds of radiation, and 12 treatments of pt i think i have a better understanding as a nursing student how to treat all kinds of pts. even when they are not admitted for more serious illnesses, it is important for all of us to remember how much of an impact that illness is having on their lives and who else it is effecting in the family and friends. i was fortunate enough to have family and friends support me the entire way, but we also need to be there as the pt advocate and make sure they have someone they can talk with about the illness.

thanks for sharing that. you made some excellent points.

i hope you are doing well now. hopefully the cancer is just a memory and one that you learned an invaluable lesson from.

[MandaTaye]

I'm not a nurse yet.. but.. I have experienced this. I'm a CNA currently.

I don't want to go on about this because if I start I won't be able to stop...but.. my grandmother passed away October 27th last year of pancreatic cancer. I walked into her room and she was wet. It made me very angry. Knowing my grandmother was dying of cancer while sitting in her own urine made me livid. I became one of those family members that harp on the patient and "nag" the nurses constantly. Of course it was unrealistic to expect my grandmother to always be dry, etc...but... when it's YOUR grandmother it's different. I have more patience because of it now. I'm not currently working as I am dedicating myself full-time to my education, but when I do go back and there are remarks made about the "overbearing" family members in the lunch room I will remember what it was like to be one. I will also strive harder to ensure that my patients are ALWAYS dry. It seemed like I had difficulty getting the hospice nurses to get someone to change my grandmother as well. I will not be a nurse who has to find the CNA in order to get my patient changed. I will be right there changing them myself!!

Just my

Really miss my grandmother.....

[lamazeteacher]

".......I will also strive harder to ensure that my patients are ALWAYS dry. ......"

quote from Manda Taye's post # 56

If more nurses and families felt as you do about adult incontinence, perhaps we'd have diapers for adults like those of babies, that indicate wetness, have gel to absorb it so harsh ammonia won't stay on patients' skin.

[lamazeteacher]

I love Butterfly's patience and acceptance of those medical team members who haven't included her on her own patient care team!

I've been a patient too many times, and have learned to participate with other members of my team, highlighting the fact that it is necessary to include me, the patient if the team is to be effective in getting my correct diagnosis and compliance with appropriate treatment.

It seems that the experience of being "on the other side of the rails" is one wherein I can assist in the development of other nurses by sharing my viewpoints, excperience and education, and gently (if possible) correct their errors. That empowers me, keeping my self esteem intact, while I recover from whatever happened.

I've found as have others who posted here, that the hard won knowledge emphasized in nursing school is often set aside in practise. Sometimes it's due to time factors because of short staffing, but most of the time it's carelessness and disregard for patients' rights. One Registered Nurse assigned to provide my care, walked into my room wearing gloves. Since she could only have procured them in a room other than mine or (heaven forbid) in her pockets jammed with kleenex, pens, etc.

I asked her (nicely) what she needed to do for me that required gloves, and she responded, "I don't touch any patients unless I wear gloves". Having been an Infection Control Nurse, I told her that and advised her that Universal/ standard precautions require them only if the possibility exists that her hands would come in contact with blood/body fluids. She took my vitals with her gloves on. I asked to see the Infection Control Nurse there, who was too busy to respond the entire 3 days I was hospitalized.

I did see the Risk Management Nurse after my discharge and recommended review of the precautions for that unit, as well as an inservice regarding continuity of care when the list of medications I had been on prior to my hospitalization was ignored, and I received none of them. As a result, my severe depression returned, the GERD I suffered worsened because the proton pump inhibitor was "not on the hospital pharmacy's formulary". So, much more expensive IV administration of another one was given for that. I could go on.....

There have been so many errors made in my health care, that I now make the request that copies of the results of all tests, X-rays, etc. are to be sent to me, as well as my physician(s). Had that been in place earlier, a GI hemorrhage I had during Christmas and New Years, when my physician was otherwise engaged, would have been diagnosed before my Hgb plummetted to a critical level. I became aware after being ignored in the ED/ER for 2 hours with a later hemorrhage, that Nuclear bleeding scans have to be done while bleeding is happening, so if the location of the bleeding site is to be determined, I need to ask for one with some emphasis the next time that happens..... without becoming hysterical!

So patients really do need to be recognized as the most important member of their health care team - even when they're the only one not on the bench.

[MandaTaye]

If more nurses and families felt as you do about adult incontinence, perhaps we'd have diapers for adults like those of babies, that indicate wetness, have gel to absorb it so harsh ammonia won't stay on patients' skin

Just because the diapers indicate when they're wet and have gel to *HELP* absorb ammonia does not mean that the patient is being kept dry.