From the Other Side of the Bed Rails - When the Nurse Becomes the Patient

[tnbutterfly - Mary]

I looked around at the people in the waiting room, wondering... what's wrong with that lady? Does she have cancer? Poor thing. Then I thought... Gee... Maybe she's wondering the same thing about me. I wanted to reassure her that I was not really sick... just something wrong with my blood. I don't have cancer... nothing that bad... But what do I have? I have been asking myself this for several weeks... since the day that I realized that something wasn't quite right. Then when my blood tests came back abnormal and my primary care physician referred me to a hematologist.... who just happens to be an oncologist... that just seemed very strange. Hey... I am the one who helps other people deal with this kind of information. But now it's me.

The nurse who took me back to the room was very nice. In fact, everyone was very nice. Very soft spoken and reassuring. Again, I wanted to tell them... I'm not sick... not really. Not like the other patients. But still, I wondered...  what will they find out is wrong with me? Oh... it's probably nothing. Nothing really bad... or at least I hope and pray. Prayer... been doing a whole lot of that lately. Oh I always pray.... but it's usually for other people.

Then came the questions. Oh I hope I remember to tell him everything. What was that he just said? Hmmm... I'm having trouble remembering the order in which things happened. I hope I don't sound like an idiot. I am a nurse and should know this stuff. Oh yeah... I remember reading about that when I was googling things trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Good thing I brought my notebook with my list of questions. Now why did he ask that? Does he think I have that? Oh my. He wants to order what test? Why? When will I get the results...

Then I was ushered to the lab. Again... the lab tech was very nice and reassuring. But when I saw all of the vials that she was going to fill with my blood... I did get a little queasy. The tourniquet felt tight... I turned my head. Ouch..... it did pinch a bit. How long is this going to take? Sure... I'm fine. I would sure be embarrassed if I fainted. I have to go where to get what other test? Why? Where exactly do I go? When? OK. Come back in 3 weeks? Seems like a long time to wait. OK. Sure that date is fine. Wonder what I'll find out then?

This is not the first time I have been on the receiving end of medical care... on the other side of the bed rails, so to speak. Each time, I learn something new... something I can use to make me a better nurse... treating others as I would wish to be treated. Today, I realized how much a reassuring and caring voice means to a patient who may be afraid of what they might hear or what they might experience. It might seem like a small thing when we as nurses take a few more minutes to offer compassionate caring... to meet the emotional needs of the patient... but to the patient, it helps alleviate some of the worries and fears, thereby lowering the stress level. While we can't always offer a solution or reason why things are happening, we can always take the time to show genuine compassion.

To read more articles, go to my AN blog: Body, Mind, and Soul, Be the Nurse You Would Want as a Patient, From the Other Side of the Bed Rails - When the Nurse Becomes the Patient

[jaclibra]

I will hope and pray that you will be okey.

[mmiriamasher]

I know what you mean and how you feel, I went through the same experience, not in blood, but had two major operations. I think that made me a more compassionate nurse and person, more tolerant to others, and more patient. Since then, whenever I took care of a patient, I always put myself in the patient's shoes and remembered my experience as a patient.

I wish you well and a full recovery like myself.

I'm 22 years after those experiences and retired.

[kachidekuyua]

After reading all the post thread regarding the nurses' experiences as a patient, I remembered the time when I was a Volunteer Nurse and experience the same. It happened like this...

I was on 3-11shift at Maternity Ward. I was feeling fine when I entered the facility. .. Then, when we have our endorsement. Suddenly, the ward nurse notice me to be pale and sweaty and ask me if I'm fine. I just nod and we proceeded.

While we are dessiminating our duties, I felt this pain on my stomach, I like to vomit, the I ran to the sink. Our Ward nurse got worried and told my co-volunteer to get a wheelchair and they took me at the ER.

While on our way I heard some patients and their family, "Hey, what is that nurse doing there? What happened to her?", then other say, "I thought patients are the one who rides in a wheelchair?" and their eyes followed me, smiling, until we arrived at our destination. On the ER, the ward nurse who accompanied me endorsed me to the ER nurse and then left me because she need to attend to her patients at the ward. While I was waiting for the doctor to prescribed something for me, an old patient got into my side, she smiled at me and I did the same. She told me, " Nurse, can you please take my blood pressure?" because I was wearing my white uniform, she approach to me. Her daughter told me to help her mother.

The nurses and doctors around us who have heard what she said laugh, while on my part, I really like to stand up and do what she ask me to do because it's my duty as a nurse. And then the doctor told the old woman and her daughter that, " She's not a nurse from this moment, she's a patient too." The doctor smiled. And we are both attended by my colleagues. I realized as well, that it's quite funny, (and felt a little humiliation as well for being a patient and not a nurse) seeing someone in a hospital wearing a white nursing uniform would be a patient, it might be an unusual sight for some patients to see, hahaha...

A nurse being a patient... Funny, Is it, right...? Or not..?

That day became one of my unforgettable moment as a nurse at the same time, as a patient... (^.^)

[junebug50]

My heart goes out to you. I am an oncology nurse and I see first hand how scared patients are and can be. One thing I have learned in the last two years is to have compassion for my patients. I try to think of them as a loved one, my parents, sister, uncle or God forbid my child. To the nurses that gave and will give you good and compassionate care a big thank you. To the ones that are indifferent or cold, shame on you. One other thing I have learned is that you never know when it could be you. Always treat someone like you would want to be treated. I hope that everything turns out ok and God Bless You.

[obrnhart]

7 years ago i was misdiagnosed, I truly had pneumonia by my nurse practitioner diagnosed with with costo chondritis and she told me i would be fine take some motrin and keep going. well after 3 months, repeated drs office visits and god only knows how much motrin it finally got me. I had developed a 7- 8 cm empyema in my right chest cavity. my Ob/gyn was who finally diagnosed me correctly. I spent 2 weeks in a hospital, had almost daily chest ct's and xrays, labs every day, 2 picc lines, countless antibiotics, 2 thoracentesis, chest tube placement, home on 6 weeks of vanc and levaquin because that first stupid practioner had treated me with iv rocephin, out patient for "pyelonephritis" that i never had. i survived only by the grace of GOD and became a better nurse for having been on the other side of the bedrails. I wish you all the luck in the world,

[animal1993]

I was faced with the possibility that I had thyroid cancer a few weeks ago. (I know that it's one the "best" types of cancer to get, but that doesn't comfort you very much when you hear the big "C" word.) I had to have a fine needle biopsy done, and I can't even begin to tell you how terrified I was of the procedure. Not only was I afraid of the possible diagnosis (which ended up being that I don't have cancer), but I must admit that I am not a fan of needles. (Especially when they're going into my throat!)

When my name was called, I went from being 34 years old to feeling like a scared 10-yr old. I was convinced that everyone was going to make me feel like an idiot for being afraid, since this has been my experience in the past. However, the ultrasound tech really went out of her way to explain everything to me, and made sure that I was as comfortable as possible during the entire procedure. I will never forget her, and she will always be the person that I try to model my behavior after.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time to post encouraging words, concern, and prayers. Many of you have requested an update, however, I have nothing else to share as I am still awaiting my next appointment.

Thanks to those who have shared your own experiences from the other side of the bed rails. Each one of these offers a learning opportunity for each of us.

I am on a trip right now, but want to address these responses as time allows. Please feel free to add more stories.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

This week I, too, became a receiver of care from the "other side of the bedrails." I had fallen at the bowling alley, hitting my left hip hard. Initially, I thought it was only bruised; walked, 1 foot at a time, up the three steps to the main floor; requested an ice pack; told them I would not be completing the game. Within just a few minutes the pain in my upper hip hit, at about 8/10, and I could not change position or put weight on my left leg. I agreed to have them transport me to the hospital for evaluation. I did not think I had a fractured hip, but then I've never had one and don't know how one feels.

The EMS folks were great, assisting me to the gurney and talking to me throughout the trip. My only complaint is being called "dear;" I am 63 and have earned the right to be called by my name at all times, unless I give permission otherwise.

The ER staff were competent in their tasks, but lacking, most of them, in patient/staff communication skills. First, they called this stranger "sweetheart" or "dear" constantly. No coaching in breathing techniques for pain control during turns. Gave me a bedpan when requested; then left me on it for 30 minutes, right through the doctor's visit and into the arrival of the X-ray tech, who had to go find someone to help clean me up so that I could go to X-ray.

The worst part? No call button attached to the side of the gurney, until the X-ray tech did it upon return from X-ray.

I remember, all those years ago, the lectures from my instructors on not using endearments with patients; on checking every few minutes when a patient is on the bedpan; on ensuring the call button is within reach. What happened to those "little" things that make a patient feel he/she is still in control of himself/herself?

It sounds like you had a less than satisfactory ER visit. As if the pain wasn't enough, you also had to endure some negligence with re. to the bedpan and the call light. You are right......this is basic nursing. And the fact that you are a nurse....you knew what should have happened.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

I have been on the other side of the bed rails for several years now. My downfall began in 1997, right after I got my nursing license. I was actively looking for work when I had an anaphylactoid reaction to niacin. I was told I wouldn't be able to work as a nurse by the top judge for the SSA in our state.

I had a few surgeries to correct certain things wrong with my worn and very used body. Then in 2001, the ball began rolling downhill again. I had a PE that nearly killed me. It was caused by a steroid that also gave me steroid induced myopathy. The following year was a faster downhill slide. I was hospitalized in serious to critical condition four different times, and many too many times since then. I am very tired of being on this end of the bedrail. I would much rather be on the outside caring for others. But I know I must accept the cards my life has dealt me, and I do so with the thought that someone else has it worse. At least I do have good healthcare.

I do my best to stay cheerful, and joke around when I'm feeling up to par. I want to see my grandchildren grow.

I truly wish I was on your end right now. This end is not fun at all. I felt fulfilled when I was serving and helping others. I used to take so much for granted; The ability to go outside in any kind of weather, I'm not able to toldrate heat or humidity, the ability to walk around freely, I'm now in a wheelchair, and the air I now breathe is via oxygen 24/7. Oh if I had only been more thankful for what I had. I don't even have a car anymore. That was removed when I went into hospice care.

Fran....thanks for sharing your story. You have had some scary experiences. I know you would much rather be "serving and helping others". Thanks for helping us to see inside your world.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

I have been on the other side of the bed rails for over a year now. Not all of it good. I am doing a lot better but may never get back to bed side nursing. I learned that the most comfort I could have was my call light. Even if no one responded. I spent nearly a month in ICU, over a month in rehab. To get off the vent, to get stronger. Reviewing my chart has me wondering why so many errors or neglect in my care. I feel that I have been to hell on earth and I am glad that I made myself a DNR. I doubt I would have the strength to continue another prolonged battle. Right now I am fighting MRSA that has become osteomylitis. But I am making time for myself and my husband. We have camped several times in our popup. I have attacks of intractable pain, but these are only every other day not all the time.

Thanks for sharing. Like the previous poster, you have reminded us how important the call light is. It is your life-line at a time when you must rely so heavily on others.

I hope you are able to enjoy many more special times with your husband. Keep us updated. May God bless you.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

Hi everyone. I'm not a nurse yet, not even a nursing student, but I was asked via my first post to come here and share my experience.

Other than being sick as dog the entire time, my pregnancy seemed to be going perfectly. The baby was very active and my blood tests came back flawless. In order to find out the sex of the baby, I was sent to a diagnostic center. My husband won the bet and "it" became a she. I didn't find out until a few days later from my OB that there was something to be concerned about. My placenta had become a bit swollen. At the time, I was living in Key West, so I was sent to Miami to see a specialist. There, I was told there really wasn't much I could do. Neither me nor the baby showed any signs of anything serious related to a "thickened" placenta. The baby's size was not adversely effected and she was still incredily active.

My husband is in the Coast Guard and was due to go to school in Virginia from April until a couple weeks after my due date in July. Both of us were born and raised in Maryland, so we decided to pack up and move our dogs and I home while he attended school. We arrived there on March 22nd. On March 28th I began feeling excruciating pains. I chalked it up to gas, but gas doesn't typically radiate from your pelvis to your back every few minutes, not the mention the pain was far too intense. By 5 AM, my daughter Emelia Summer arrived via C-section at 1 lb 9 oz. She was born at 26 1/2 weeks gestation and spent 80 long days in NICU.

My experience in the NICU was actually a very good one. I had heard about NICU nurses being somewhat distant or wooden, but that was not the case for me. The nurses I had were wonderfully supportive and compassionate. They were always realistic about her situation, but I never felt hopeless. Still, none of them had ever gone through what I was. Emelia went through the ringer: chronic lung disease, intubation, blood transfusions, 3 rounds of indomethacin to close a PDA, bradys and desats consistently, and reflux that lead to feeding issues. Eventually she made it through and went home in June at just under 4 lbs on an apnea monitor. She's done amazing since coming home, doubling her weight and should be coming off the monitor next week!

I had always considered a career in nursing passively. I thought: "If I could handle it, I'd make a great nurse". Now I think: "Why can't I handle it?" I worked in a childcare environment for three years, which has made me pretty immune to the gross out factor. Prior to getting married, I was pursing a degree in Early Childhood education. After running a charter business in Key West, I discovered I liked working with adults as well. I'm still in the consideration phase, but if I do go to nursing school I'd love to work in a NICU or PICU eventually. I feel like my life experience would make me an awesome nurse in this field. I'd be better able to relate to the parents and I'd have an increased sensitivity toward the babies/children.

Thanks for reading!

Thanks for sharing your story. I think you will make a very compassionate nurse. Good luck with school.

[PediMommy]

Hi everyone. I'm not a nurse yet, not even a nursing student, but I was asked via my first post to come here and share my experience.

Other than being sick as dog the entire time, my pregnancy seemed to be going perfectly. The baby was very active and my blood tests came back flawless. In order to find out the sex of the baby, I was sent to a diagnostic center. My husband won the bet and "it" became a she. I didn't find out until a few days later from my OB that there was something to be concerned about. My placenta had become a bit swollen. At the time, I was living in Key West, so I was sent to Miami to see a specialist. There, I was told there really wasn't much I could do. Neither me nor the baby showed any signs of anything serious related to a "thickened" placenta. The baby's size was not adversely effected and she was still incredily active.

My husband is in the Coast Guard and was due to go to school in Virginia from April until a couple weeks after my due date in July. Both of us were born and raised in Maryland, so we decided to pack up and move our dogs and I home while he attended school. We arrived there on March 22nd. On March 28th I began feeling excruciating pains. I chalked it up to gas, but gas doesn't typically radiate from your pelvis to your back every few minutes, not the mention the pain was far too intense. By 5 AM, my daughter Emelia Summer arrived via C-section at 1 lb 9 oz. She was born at 26 1/2 weeks gestation and spent 80 long days in NICU.

My experience in the NICU was actually a very good one. I had heard about NICU nurses being somewhat distant or wooden, but that was not the case for me. The nurses I had were wonderfully supportive and compassionate. They were always realistic about her situation, but I never felt hopeless. Still, none of them had ever gone through what I was. Emelia went through the ringer: chronic lung disease, intubation, blood transfusions, 3 rounds of indomethacin to close a PDA, bradys and desats consistently, and reflux that lead to feeding issues. Eventually she made it through and went home in June at just under 4 lbs on an apnea monitor. She's done amazing since coming home, doubling her weight and should be coming off the monitor next week!

I had always considered a career in nursing passively. I thought: "If I could handle it, I'd make a great nurse". Now I think: "Why can't I handle it?" I worked in a childcare environment for three years, which has made me pretty immune to the gross out factor. Prior to getting married, I was pursing a degree in Early Childhood education. After running a charter business in Key West, I discovered I liked working with adults as well. I'm still in the consideration phase, but if I do go to nursing school I'd love to work in a NICU or PICU eventually. I feel like my life experience would make me an awesome nurse in this field. I'd be better able to relate to the parents and I'd have an increased sensitivity toward the babies/children.

Thanks for reading!

I hope your beautiful baby girl is growing big and strong!!! I am a pedi nurse (in a clinic) and I have seen many babies born from 25-34 weeks who start out small fighting for their lives but catch up to others before you know it. They are figthers and little miracles! By the time she is a year she'll be a premie in hiding (as I call my little pt's). Blessings to you and your little one. Follow your heart on your career path if you love it then it's not like your working!!!:heartbeat